Thunder Matt: The Force Awakens

In 2006, Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan and a few ragtag college dropouts started this site to pay tribute to one "Thunder" Matt Murton. Sure, he was just a 4th outfielder on a team that was going nowhere, but the only thing that burned brighter than his ginger curls was the passion for which they loved writing about the Cubs. As Murton's legend grew, so did this website, catching the eye of Cubs beat writer and Professional Chemistry Teacher Impersonator Paul Sullivan, who in 2007 named us one of his 5 favorite Cubs blogs.

Mirroring the Cubs' success on the field, we were a heavy hitter in the Cubs world in 2007 and 2008. Yes, there were other Cubs news sources that were "bigger" and "concerned with sticking to facts" out there, but did any of them bring you hard hitting hot takes about how underrated hotel room dresser handles are? Were any other baseball websites inexplicably posting fantasy football rankings? Going in depth about getting kicked in the balls? Up to the minute career status checks on Jeremy Piven (NOTE: That's still accurate 7+ years later)? Nope. And that's what we excelled at - giving you all the nonsense you didn't ask for and never knew you were missing out on.

After Thunder Matt was traded in 2008, we started to fall apart. With multiple bartenders having 2 kids and a demanding job, this place just sort of went to shit. Then came back, had 2-3 identity crises, and died again. For years, I've wondered if we could ever get it back. Maybe all we needed was a sign.

And that sign is here. GUESS WHO IS BACK IN THE FOLD???

After six years away from the MLB, Matt Murton has signed a minor league deal with the Cubs on Wednesday night, according to a report.

(This is where we bust out the champagne, drink too much and have a 2.5 day hangover because we're all in our mid-30's now)

As Murton goes, so goes this site. We're opening the doors to the Saloon again. I feel like it's too cliche to use the old "Don't call it a comeback, we've been here for years" lyric, but in this case it's actually pretty accurate. We never officially closed this place down. We just...stopped showing up. But the return of the Ginger Chosen One is the sign we were waiting for. We're back, like a glorious phoenix, rising from under a pile of Old Style empties. Maybe 'glorious' is too nice a word. We're some kind of phoenix. We're not the shittiest phoenix out there (Phoenix, AZ). We've got a better reputation than University of Phoenix. We're definitely more alive than River Phoenix (although it was touch and go there for a few years).

With the Cubs going into 2016 as the World Series favorites, we feel like the world needs our voice now more than ever. A whooooole lot of words are going to be written about the Cubs this year and when all the hottest takes and think-pieces start to blend together into a gray blob of incoherence, you'll need us to cut through the fog with our completely fabricated stories of Cubs of old and game recaps that were clearly written while watching something else on TV.

(NOTE: There's just as much a chance that this post is never followed up on and nothing actually happens. It's that kind of lackadaisical attitude that gives us our charm.)

Thunder Matt Snubbed By ESPN Chicago: This Aggression Will Not Stand, Man

In case you missed it, ESPN Chicago put out its list of the 10 greatest Cubs of the past decade. While the list is highly debatable (Theriot at #8? Dempster ahead of Sosa?), one name was surprisingly absent from the list. Yep, it looks like the ginger prejudice is still alive and well in 'Merika (Dempster doesn't count, he's Canadian), as TMS's own namesake, Matt Murton failed to make the list.

While you can look at stats all you want, some things are intangible. Murton brought sex appeal, an underdog attitude, and of course a lovability to the Cubs that is rarely seen. Would Murton piss on his hands and then shake yours? I think not. Would Matt cork his bat just because he was having a slump? Hardly. Did the Redheaded Wonder ever lead the league in "simulated games"? Never. Can he grow a beard faster than it takes Daft's mom to take her clothes off in exchange for a 40 of Old E? You betcha. What's that, these things don't make a player "the greatest of the decade"? Well, GFY then. Fine, let's look at the stats. A lifetime .299 hitter for the Cubs doesn't mean anything I guess.

Sure, since leaving the Cubs, Murton's luck has changed and is now off in Japan. But don't forget the great times he had here in Chicago. One needs to only look as far as the 28 plaques in the Thunder Matt Trophy Room to be reminded of that. Just as the Ted Lilly Fan Club is miffed about the absence of TRL to ESPN Chicago's list, we implore you Cubs fans - email, text, call, fax, send a letter, anything to get to those bastards and demand that Matt Murton be added to the list. Do it for Ginger Awareness not only in Chicago, but everywhere.

Turning Japanese

In case you missed it (like we did), America's favorite ginger outfielder is picking up his toys and going to . . . Japan. The Rockies gave Murton his release so he could attempt to jumpstart his career in the Nippon Leagues. Look, I know we bartenders here at the Saloon are biased toward the red-headed wonder, but Jesus Christ, isn't there any team in the majors that could give this guy a chance to play everyday? I'm looking at you Kansas City. Or what about you, Atlanta? Murton only hit .324/.389/.499 for the year in Triple A Colorado Springs. Sure, his defense is spotty, but if that kept you out of a major league lineup, there'd be a lotta guys out of work. (Cough-Soriano-cough).

Here at the Saloon we wish Thunder the best of luck in the Far East. Watch out for the blowfish, buddy.

I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'

Big ups to loyal TMS reader, David St. Hubbins for this one. After the Bradley Debacle, I received a text message that simply stated: Murton > Bradley

And you know what? There's some real truth to that.
Forget that Murton made about $9.5 million less than Bradley, forget that you never heard Murton crying shitwolf to reporters, forget that Murton never mistakenly threw a ball into the stands after two outs, forget that Lou Piniella never told Murton, "you're not a ballplayer, you're a piece of shit."

Enough with the slander, let's look at the stats. Bradley played 124 games this year, so that's what the basis for a "season" was set at. I'm the first to admit that I'm not sabermetrician, but all of the stats with the exception of Murton's OPS should be accurate, and even that should be accurate within a few points.
Ventaja: Señor Murton

>

Thunderwatch 2009: Murton Released into the Wild

STATUS: NOT SO MUCH WITH A TEAM AT THE MOMENT

Jesus, that didn't last long. After getting a call up from AAA just the other day, the Rockies have designated Thunder Matt Murton for assignment.

Actually this is probably a good thing for Murton as the Colorado outfield just didn't have any room for him and he's certainly good enough to be on a major league club right now. I would imagine a team will pick him up relatively quick.

Good luck to Thunder Matt wherever he lands.

Thunderwatch 2009: Murton Back in Bigs

STATUS: JUMPING INTO COLORADO'S CROWDED OUTFIELD

Good old Thunder Matt was called back up from AAA yesterday. This announcement was more of an afterthought to the bigger news of the promotion of Eric Young Jr. With Carlos Gonzalez still ailing from a knife wound and Dexter Fowler hitting the DL, the Rockies actually needed some outfielders. Young who traditionally has played 2B will fill in at CF for Fowler. Murton's role I would assume is more to add depth to the bench as Colorado has Brad Hawpe, Ryan Spilborghs, and Seth Smith to cover the corner outfield spots.

I would hope Murton will be a part of the expanded roster in September and possibly make a case to be included on the playoff roster. In 86 games with AAA Colorado Springs, Thunder Matt has batted .321 with 10 home runs, 71 RBI and 10 stolen bases. He's also sporting a .388 OBP.

Thunder Matt at the All-Star Game

No, no, all you dearly beloved Matt Murton fans. Our amiable Thunder did not make the roster for Tuesday's Taco Bell MLB All-Star Game, brought to you by Taco Bell. His night to shine was Wednesday, as he donned the uniform of the Colorado Springs Sky Sox for the Triple-A All-Star Game in beautiful Portland, Oregon. Joining Matt were future star Eric Young, Jr., and a bunch of white guys who will be playing for different teams in two weeks.

Thunder was slotted as the DH for the Pacific Coast League. He hit in the three-hole, striking out looking in his first two plate appearances and grounding out in his third. Eh, who cares how he did? It's just another meaningless All-Star game.

While he's been with Colorado Springs, Murton has hit for a .374 average in 187 at-bats. He has nearly as many doubles (15) as he does strikeouts (18). Matt is clearly maturing under the tutelage of the venerable Sal Fasano.

So what becomes of Murton now? Clearly the Rockies have a glut of talent in their OF. We've exhausted this in the past, but the bottom line is that Murton needs to go to an AL club where he can serve as a DH and have spot starts in the outfield corners. The Twins would seem logical, due to Matt's fair skin and propensity for hitting in the gaps. Unfortunately they too have an abundance quality hitters, spreading the at-bats thin. The Orioles? Occasional rumors have the Red Sox inquiring on bringing Matt back. With a bit of luck, he'll be leaving Colorado Springs in two weeks for greener pastures. Of course, we've been hoping he sees those pastures for the entire three-plus years of this blog's existence. Rest assured though, dear reader, that the boys at the Saloon will keep you posted on all developments Murton.

Also of note in the game: Dave Winfield (tall) threw out the first pitch, and the San Diego Chicken was present. Winfield played for the Padres during the Chicken's heyday. The two were never on the field at the same time. Coincidence, or irrelevant? The International League was leading the Pacific Coast League 6-3 after Murton's third at-bat in the bottom of the sixth. I'll have to assume that he was pulled at this point, as I can't bear to watch the rest of the game.

Thunderwatch 2009: Murton Sent Down Again

Once again, the Ginger Jesus returns to the minor leagues as the Rockies called up future phenom Carlos Gonzalez. Thunder Matt hit .267 with 6 RBIs in the 22 games he was allowed to play at the big league level. He also smoked a home run off of the Big Unit, who just won game number 300 last night.

Unfortunately for Matt, he keeps getting traded to clubs with a glut of outfielders. I fully expect his next stop to be the Texas Rangers. Hopefully, we'll see Murton in the majors again, but for now we'll have to be satisfied with watching Southern Thunder Matt do his thing with the Rays. Could the Rays use another outfielder? How awesome would it be to see a Thunder-Thunder tandem in the Tampa Bay outfield? Ah, dreams.

Thunderwatch 2009: Murton Goes Yard!

STATUS: BRINGING THE THUNDER

Finally! Last night Thunder Matt hit his first MLB home run since 'Nam. The single run shot came in the 5th inning off Randy Johnson.

Of course this means we get to add the Big Unit's mug to the Thunder Matt Trophy Room. Since it's been nearly two years since I've had to add a new plaque I wasn't able to locate the old template I used. So instead I've created a new plaque that will be used from now on.

I know, classy huh?

Thunderwatch 2009: Murton Promoted!

STATUS: PROMOTED

Did you think we forgot about our fair-skinned, ginger-haired namesake? Of course not. Thunder Matt has been tearing it up in AAA Colorado Springs and with Rockies 2B Jeff Baker hitting the DL he's finally made the trip up I-25 to the big club in Denver. Murton made his first at bat of the season last night when he pinch hit in the 7th inning. Unfortunately he struck out, but we'll just attest that to butterflies on his first MLB at bat since last July.

In 18 games this season in AAA, Murton has hit .411 with 4 home runs and 19 RBI. He has an on base percentage of .476 and even stole 5 bases (Who knew Thunder had wheels?).

We wish Murton best of luck with his current promotion and hope it certainly sticks longer than just the duration of Baker's DL stint. We'll have the Trophy Room ready.

BANISHED!

The Rocky Mountain Resurgence, over before it even started. Dear Thunder, sweet sweet Thunder, sent down to AAA.

I'm gonna hit that gosh darn ball, and hit it real good!

Bartender Banter: Spring is Here

Never mind that it's still February. The Cubs played their first Spring Training game yesterday, therefore Spring has officially begun in my book.

We're still getting settled back in at the Saloon here and I thought I would update our readers with some odds and ends.

• As you can see the Saloon is back and with a new look. Actually it's the same look ripped from our other blog we shall no longer name. One of the new perks is the little ratings option for folks to rate our posts. This will serve as a way for us to see what you like and dislike and strive to provide better content for you in the future....... Nah, that's a bunch of bullshit. The ratings system is just to stroke our own egos and vote 1 on posts that are not our own to piss each other off.

• Baseball is back in swing and so comes the annual TMS baseball previews. This year we'll be doing things differently, posting a team each weekday for the next month. The first preview debuts Monday as Dave Thomas will cover the California Angels.

• Also coming in the next week or so will be the TMS fantasy baseball rankings. I had started them on the other blog and plan to provide a full post with each position ranked. Stay tuned for that in the very near future.

• As I mentioned the Cubs played their first ST game yesterday, which was highlighted by Micah Hoffpauir hitting a grand slam. It's good to know that if something were to happen to Derrek Lee that we got a better option than John Mabry to back him up this time.

• Thunder Matt Murton is in Colorado now and I know some of you are wondering if we'll still keep tabs on him. You're god damn right we will. The Thunder Matt Trophy Room has been cold and lonely lately. It's about time we see some more pitchers' mugs plastered in there.

• Did you hear? Old Style is being kraeusened again! I just got my first 12 pack of it yesterday. A TMS Beer Project is sure to follow. All I can say right now is that if the sound of angels singing had a flavor, it would be this.

• At no point can I see myself this season saying the words, "Oh good, Aaron Miles is up."

• Much like Chuck Norris and bacon, the undying love for mustaches has reached such a ridiculous level of hype that it has become overrated in a sense. Yet I have to say if anyone is going to rock a 'stache with authority it would be Fat Z. Unfortunately he shaved it off. Not that he isn't intimidating enough on the mound as it is, but the mustache would've been the icing on the cake.

• Sure their weren't any big "knock your dick in the dirt" offseason moves this winter, but I don't get why folks are so down about it. Yeah Milton Bradley was our biggest signing, but look at how much other stuff we unloaded. No more Jason Marquis, Ronny Cedeno, Bob Howry? That just saved me a little extra cash on Maalox this season.

• Best new album I've heard recently: Hold Time by M. Ward. Go check it out.

¡Viva Zambrano Bigotudo!

War Criminal: Thunder Matt's Saloon

All good things must come to an end. As of Tuesday morning, Thunder Matt's Saloon will, for all intents and purposes, cease to exist. Though it will still float in cyberspace, it will no longer be updated. Our efforts will be directed to the much-mentioned Pomp Culture.

How do we, as writers, feel about the Saloon? We feel it is deserving of nothing less than War Criminal status. Allow us to explain...

Obviously this site was designed in honor of Thunder Matt Murton. Through little fault of his own, Murton was never able to consistently break through Lou Piniella's crowded outfield and gain consistent playing time. Apparently raw sexuality and Christian values do not necessarily equate to increased at-bats. With so few box score stats, discussion of Murton waned, until he was finally set free by the organization. As always, we wish Matt the best of luck in Oakland or wherever he may end up, and we will continue to follow his career, and possibly provide occasional updates in the Sports section of Pomp Culture.

The Saloon was a Cubs blog by default. While it achieved a modicum of success in the Cubs blogosphere, we never intended to be a definitive source of all things Cubs. Our interests are diverse and will be serviced better at Pomp Culture.

That being said, we truly appreciate all of the Cubs fans that kept coming back to the site, even if they were only met with postings on condiments or celebrity deaths. In particular we would like to thank Cubs beat writer Paul Sullivan, who gave our site a nod on several occasions, and even was so kind as to agree to an interview. Paul, you're doing a bang-up job, and we hope you find something worth liking at Pomp Culture.

So with all this sentimental nonsense, why would the Saloon be deserving of War Criminal status? One word: Money. The site never brought in a damn dime. Why in the world would we go through all this trouble for no money? Though not all of the writers will admit it, we hope that Pomp Culture will be more marketable so we can all make our millions of dollars and have Barack Obama take them away. Just kidding Barack. I can still call you Barack, right? Thanks for being a loyal reader.

With that, we close our doors. Thanks to all of you kind readers. Thank you again to Matt Murton for not suing us or serving us with a cease and desist order.

Visit us at Pomp Culture on Tuesday. Good night!

On Matt Murton.

In this final day of our modest blog as we know it (Hooray, rebranding!), I thought I'd reflect a bit on the man who birthed this site, the namesake, the red-headed everyman who currently lingers on the Oakland A's roster.
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If you run a search for "Matt Murton" on YouTube, you get 64 results. I know this, because I just tried. Of those 64, maybe 10 are the flame-topped outfielder from Fort Lauderdale, FL. Several aren't even a Matt Murton, but some country type filmed on a shaky handicam. The rest are a realtor from Maryland with the same name, short tapes of him touring his sale and rental properties. There are more videos for "Grape Lady."

Simply put, Matt Murton isn't very important. The baseball player, I mean. He's a modest, hard-working guy like the rest of us, one who rarely makes highlight reels or SportsCenter. He shows up and does his job without flash, procession or pomp. Just like the rest of us.

There is one video of him playing baseball; the only problem is, it's someone who taped a play that videogame Murton made in MLB 2K8.

Since moving midseason, we've barely heard a peep from him, mainly because Oakland uses him the same way the Cubs did: sparingly. He played just 9 games the rest of the season, and spent his work days probably like many of us did in the summer, just goofing around with friends and pitching in where necessary.

His trajectory through the majors is a lot like our trajectory through this blog to date: we're a bit player in the vast world of the internet, a small voice amid all the noise. We put in our time, we worked hard, and we reaped the odd reward here and there. Murton is no different, and as we get set to close the doors on the Saloon named for the ginger scamp (not even the best red-head on the team, mind you, thanks to Ryan Dempster. Poor Matt couldn't even wrestle control of that small accolade!), it's time to reflect a little more than we did during his eulogies.

He was traded on my birthday, and given new life of sorts. Pomp Culture will do the same for us, I'm sure, as we're finally free to give in to the crushing weight of our lowbrow sensibilities away from the burden of baseball.
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When Matt Murton plays baseball, sometimes you get the sense that it's a burden. It's not easy for him, but he doesn't stop trying, and maybe that's why we always related to him so well. Our obsession transcended novelty with Murton; at first, he was that scrappy guy on the team who really had no business being there, and we praised him for his tenacity and his long, winding journey through the ranks of baseball. Every time an outfielder ahead of him slumped, we clamored for change.

Murton for Left Field! Murton for Right Field! Can Murton play Center? Who Cares, Play Murton Anyway!

It had the weight and fervor of a political campaign.

Then, the Cubs would go out and buy every cast-off journeyman in the league to fill gaps in the outfield, and our hearts would sink once more. Murton became familiar with that stretch of road between Chicago and Des Moines, a road he thought he'd only ever have to travel once. Imagine that; a young lad called up from West Tennessee with his friend Adam, and then watching him get drilled in the head in his first major-league at-bat! That was it for Greenberg, but Murton went on to hit with force the rest of the season. He was playing well above potential; we could all tell.

From there, it was a slow slide back down into the pack, the mass of hungry nearly-theres who clawed and scratched to get a chance in the big leagues. You know the type; full of potential on paper yet never quite coming through. We've seen enough of them at Wrigley to know by now: Corey Patterson and Felix Pie, to name just two.

And now, freed from Hendry's gaze, he endures the same limbo, a young, promising outfielder (though getting older every day) stuck amid the static and white noise of several other younger, slightly more promising outfielders. He struggles to get seen and heard above the throng; every time we come into our offices and wonder just what the fuck we're doing, we have complete and total understanding. Passed up for promotion again? Matt Murton gets it, and you have empathy. (To emphasize the point, his Wikipedia page picture is him in a Cubs uniform. Amid the millions of daily edits from all around the world, no-one thought to update his picture.)

Just because his desk is a wide, curved strip of turf bordered by chalk-and-dust lines enclosed with stands that hold thousands doesn't mean we aren't the same. It doesn't mean we can't see eye-to-eye.
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Someday we'll see Murton as an All-Star. We'll see him hit .315 for the entire season, leading the league in doubles and ranking in Top 10 across almost all major offensive categories. We'll see him win Gold Gloves in the outfield, becoming one of the most coveted corner outfielders and commanding big money on the free agent market. Scott Boras will make him rich beyond his wildest dreams, and he'll think back to those formative years, the ones he spent shuttled around the minors before landing in Chicago, and he'll laugh.

Until then, he'll just keep living the normal life, working hard and hoping to someday catch a break.

That is life for Matt Murton. That is life for all of us.

Cubs of Yore: Matt Murton

Nickname: Thunder

Played for The Cub: 2005-2008

Random Write-up: Obviously, we have a soft spot in our hearts for dear Thunder. Shit, need I direct you to the title of this very page? It was a sad, sad day 'round these parts when he no longer donned the blue and white, but you already knew that. Murton broke onto the scene in aught five, coming on late in the season, being very un-Dusty like - showing patience at the plate and going about his job like a professional. Skeptics cried foul, surely his robust .321 average was only a product of a small sample size. Never one to be fueled by his critics, Thunder nonetheless put up a beauty of a 2006 season, when he finally got some steady playing time and put up a .297/13/62.

Expectations were high, trophies were handed out, babies were kissed, backs were slapped...and then Lou came to town. Gone was his steady playing time. Gone were the chants of "THUNDER MATT" from the bleachers. All of that was forced to yield to people named Alfonso and Cliff. True to form, the stoic and ginger-headed gentleman never complained, even when he was sent back down to Des Moines. 2008 was more of the same, with Murton being relegated to pinch hitting duties and an occasional spot start. It was just the wrong time. In an era still smelling of pharmaceuticals and backne, there wasn't much room for line drive hitting outfielders. Murton was shipped to Oakland, and just like that, up and vanished like a fart in the wind.

What the hell?: Murton was actually a first round pick of the Red Sox in 2003 after playing college ball at Georgia Tech, coming to the Cubs along with Nomar Garciaparra in 2004. Who would have guessed that Murton was the one that would end up having the greater impact on the team? (Chip Wesley, that's who).

On August 3rd, 2006, you probably remember exactly where you were and what you were doing. Murton tied a Major League record by hitting 4 doubles in one game against the Arizona Diamondbacks in what would be forever known as "The Murton Game".

Was named a Freshman All American by Baseball America in 2001 for Georgia Tech.

10 Murton Urban Legends:

• Matt Murton caused the housing crisis
• The rug doesn't match the drapes.
• Had the hottest selling jersey on eBay in August of 2006.
• Had to shave Mike Remlinger's back as a rookie.
• Avid collector of the now defunct Yugo automobiles.
  
• Last statement as a Cub was "If you can only see one movie for the rest of your life, it should be Mickey Blue Eyes"
• Was nicknamed "Clown Pubes" at Georgia Tech.
• Boyhood idol was World B. Free
• Shouted "Skeet skeet!" after every line-drive hit.
  
• He reads Thundermatt.com daily.

Thunder Matt, Updated

Sad to report dear reader, that Thunder's career is faring about as poorly as Daft Funk's ABBA tribute band. As of this writing, the Crimson Warrior is only hitting a paltry .130 as an Athletic, mired in a 2-18 slump that could only be described as 'frustrating at best'.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how this Child of God can break free from the shackles of oppression and low on-base-percentage?

Looks like somebody needs a Slumpbuster!*

*I of course, refer to The Hundley's bat project, not a gross fat chick to have sex with. That is against the teachings of the Bible.

Site Update: That's weird. When I went to write this post the site had the poop brown background of yore. Then I hit publish and it goes to this new one that our leader, Chip Wesley has been working diligently on. So reader, we ask of you. Which do you prefer? The brown look with the picture of the old timey ballplayers or this more modern look, which I shall henceforth dub 'French'. Vote in the comments. Thank you.

Thunder Matt Murton, 2005-2008

We're gathered here today to remember Matthew Henry "Thunder" Murton. He was a good man and an immense talent who never really got a fair shot in his 3+ years with the Chicago Cubs. His on-field accomplishments were often times overshadowed by his uncommonly red mane, of which he inherited from his father, The Sun.

Thunder Matt walked quietly with the Lord and carried a big stick. He played the game the right way. He's the kind of player that sick Little Billy in the hospital could look up to. Little Billy would (theoretically) ask Thunder to hit him a home run and Thunder would tussle Little Billy's hair, smile and say 'sure kid.' The next day, Thunder would (theoretically) hit a ground rule double. Much like his Cubs career, close but no cigar.

I'll never forget the time that myself and Tommy Buzanis met Thunder Matt at the Cubs Media Social. Friday, January 19, 2007 will live in infamy, both in Saloon lore and his Murton's life I'm sure. What a glorious day. We told him about the Saloon, and I handed him my business card with the website info scribbled on the back. You masked your disinterest well my friend. I'll always remember him stopping me and Tommy short during our drunken pep talk to utter the infamous words, "I thought I just saw Juan Pierre", only to have the Juan Pierre doppelganger turn out to be Len Kasper. Or maybe it was Dwight Smith. Awww shit, you know.

Much as Thunder Matt has continued to move forward, so will this site. That's how Thunder would want it. We will continue to follow the career of our namesake, while also providing you the spotty Cubs coverage that you've come to expect from TMS. We will also remain the home for drunk diaries, condiment commentary and esoteric non sequiturs. With that, I turn the floor over to some of the other bartenders, who would like to say a few words about Thunder.

Daft Funk: Thunder Matt was a good baseball player and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outfield...and bowling, and as an outfielder he explored the right fields of the National League, from Wrigley to Coors Field and...up to...Pittsburgh. He was traded, like so many young men of his generation, he was traded before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Thunder Matt. Thunder, who loved baseball. And so, Matthew Henry "Thunder" Murton, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of Oakland, which you loved so well.

Good night, sweet prince.

The Hundley: Thunder Matt, I'll never forget when you were called up for your first time. It was you and that guy that got beaned in the head in his first and only career at-bat. Much like a heroic soldier falling on a grenade to save his comrades, you accepted a trade to Oakland, thus allowing us our best chance at a World Series in years. As a testament to how much I adored you, the only chant I ever attempted to incite at Wrigley Field was "THUNDER MATT!" I hope Billy Beane uses you well. Will you still sign Slumpbuster for us?

Lingering Bursitis: Matt Murton, you underwhelmed us all with your tidy production and general competency in this, the era of new stats and number-based nerditry. May you enjoy several pitches-per-at-bat in Oakland or wherever else your career may lead.

Dave Thomas:

Thunder Matt plays on
Wearing bright the green and gold
With a heart, true blue

Governor Gray Davis: I never knew Thunder Matt as a player, but as a table he was sturdy, clean and reliable, both legs the same length.

Tommy Buzanis: I first met Thunder at an N.I.T. basketball game in Charleston in 1986. He ate his cotton candy patiently and meticulously. He was not gluttonous - like a Native American devouring the heart of a buffalo, Thunder paid respect with each bite. I studied Thunder closely that day, so much so that security took notice and forcibly removed me from the arena. As I was led out and tears poured down my sunburned face I had a premonition. I envisioned a red-headed ball player working deep counts with a closed stance that screamed "I can get around on the inside heat and if I can't I will certainly foul off a couple of your best pitches!"

I think my good friend Bruce Springsteen said it best in his epic song "Thunder Road":

Oh oh come take my hand
Riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh oh Thunder (Matt), oh Thunder (Matt)
Oh Thunder (Matt)

Brant Brown: Dearest Matthew. Has it really been three years already since you first graced Wrigley Field with your presence? My how those summer days seem to have slipped away like so many old friends and lovers. We've known for quite a while now that the Cubs had no place for our fair Thunder. Long has Oakland been speculated upon as a possible destination for his services. Today, the dream has come to fruition. We blame not James Hendry, for he has long stated his desire to place Thunder in a more fitting situation, allowing for his career to blossom as we all know it will. With a kiss on the forehead, and a gentle, approving pat on the ass, we bid you farewell and good luck Matthew.

Chip Wesley: A year ago I would've been screaming "NO! It isn't fair!" But now I feel like I'm saying good bye to an elderly family member with a terminal illness. It was for the best, he's in a better place now. Godspeed Mr. Murton. I'll never forget your 20 home runs for our ballclub. But now it's time to bring the Thunder to Oaktown. Show the Bay Area what you're all about and don't let people say you look like a leprechaun when you're wearing the green uni.

We will give you the Mark Grace salute and slam an Old Style in your honor, then another right after that, assuming you approve. Fear not for our humble web log Thunder. It will retain your name, spirit, and prowess until our dying days. Thunder Matt, our nation salutes you!

Happy/Sad?

It just had to happen this way, didn't it?

So the good news...

We've officially got a Harden Hard-On. The Cubs traded for the Oakland ace today in a counter to the Brewers getting CC Sabathia. Coming with him is versatile starter/reliever Chad Gaudin. How's this sound for a short series:

Zambrano
Dempster
Harden
Lilly

See Jason Marquis' name on there anywhere? Exactly.

The bad news...Thunder Matt's days as a Cub are officially over. Matt Murton is gone. He will never blossom into the future Hall of Famer that we know he'll become as a Cub. But at least the kid will now get regular playing time.

Thunder Matt's Saloon will not be changing its name, so don't worry about that. And we knew this was coming eventually. Our official statement will be made available tomorrow morning.

The Return of the Prodigal Son

With Rammy tending to personal matters (his cockfighting empire) back in the DR, forcing DeRosa to man the hot corner for a few games, our own Thunder Matt was forced into action last night.

And the Prodigal Son responded, with 2 RBI and 2 doubles, the second of which would have probably been a home run if for not the cavernous dimensions of Padre Island or whatever the name of the park is.

Hopefully this will convince Sweet Lou (as the kids call him) to stick with the red-headed wonderboy for a few more games. Consistent ABs are the only way to get into a groove. They also get you into heaven.

*Photo to the right (of Lou hugging Thunder after his second double), courtesy of The Bible.

Bartender Banter: Surviving TB

Well that was a nice trip to St. Pete, wasn't it? Let us never speak of it again....

Ugh, that whole series was terrible. Well for us at least. I'll say it, the Rays are legit and I hope they can keep it going all season. Taking the division from Boston would give those fans a much-needed humble kick in the taint.

And now, the bullet points

• Oh Thunder Matt. Can we get at least one more home run before you're shipped off in a midseason trade? The 2008 case in the trophy room is covered in dust and cobwebs right now.

• I really have to credit the Rays fans. Whenever the large number of Cubs fans would try a "Let's Go Cubbies!" chant at Tropicana it was always drowned out by a series of boos, cowbells, and other noisemakers. Bravo to you guys for taking a stand and keeping your homefield yours.

• Derrek Lee's OPS in May was .681, and his June OPS is .719 thus far. Yeah a sweep will make you start looking at the cracks in the armor.

• Remember, the Bring the Funk to Chicago fundraiser is still going on.

• Our pal Jordi from The Serious Tip was at the Wednesday game and was kind enough to send us a couple nice shots of Thunder Matt at the plate in what he called "Starting Lineup"-like poses. Check out the photos below.

• I really need to bring the Left Field Link of the Week back, if only to expose you to creepy shit like this.

• Someone go listen to something on TMS Radio. I spend way too much time putting it together for just Brant and I to be using it.

• Speaking of music, some of the best albums I've heard in 2008 thus far include "Consolers of the Lonely" by The Raconteurs, "Attack and Release" by The Black Keys, "Walk it Off" by Tapes 'n Tapes, "Made in the Dark" by Hot Chip and "We Have You Surrounded" by The Dirtbombs. There are quite a few more I want to listen to a few more times before giving the official thumbs up.

• While the fad of RickRolling may have jumped the shark, getting Ast-Raped will never go out of style.

• Overrated: Willie Randolph's "shameful" firing. For further coverage I take you to an actual Mets fan that shares that sentiment. Read this and this.

• Ugh, I'm putting the odds of Sabathia being in Cubby blue at slim and none. The Yanks or Boston will easily offer something better.

• Prince Fielder hit an inside-the-park home run. I can only assume the Toronto outfielder had no limbs.

• Dear NBA Season. You go on too long. Sincerely, Nextel Cup season.

• You're allowed to punch me in the throat for using a lame Jim Rome Show gag just now.

• Most underrated Stones' song: Undercover of the Night.

That's it. I bring nothing to the table. Rockies in 6!

Thunder Matt did in fact get a hit in this series.

Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?