Bartender Banter: 2010, the Future is Now!

It's been sort of quiet around the Saloon the last month or so.  Allow me to update our loyal readers* on the latest happenings and what the future will hold.

NEW BLOG COMING THIS SPRING
That's right, Thunder Matt's Saloon is shutting it's doors, again**, but this time for good.  We're joining forces with two other Cubs blogs to bring you Exile on Clark Street.  A new Cubs blog with the same disappointing coverage you've come to love from the Saloon.  More details will be coming in the next couple months so stay tuned.

BEST OF 2009 POSTS
I've been getting a flood of emails from readers wondering when our Top Music and Top Movies of 2009 posts will be coming out.  Just keep your pants on for a little bit longer.  Both should come out some time in the next couple weeks.  Also look out for our "Best of the Decade" lists that will be ready in 2014.

POP CULTURE GAUNTLET

The PCG started up again this week after taking a brief hiatus.  I encourage everyone to read them and post comments arguing for or against a competitor.  The trivial debating is what makes the PCG great.  Oh, speaking of comments....

RIP HALOSCAN
Haloscan is set to die this weekend.  The company that owns them offered me a chance to keep the comments going for a monthly fee.  Seeing as how TMS's days are numbered anyway I respectfully declined.  So don't be shocked next week if the old comments are gone and any new comments are through Blogger.  I'll keep them archived in a file, most likely never to see the light of day again.  Farewell old commenting service.  While you may be gone for good we'll always have the memories.  We'll always have the crazy Billy Boyd fans ("What about Beecake?").  We'll always have Hossrex (that dumb douchebag).  And we'll always, always have Chad Cordero's dad.  Godspeed Haloscan.

DEATH LEAGUE 2010
Speaking of death, at some point I should get around to posting the latest draft results and rosters for the new season of Death League.  Over a month in and no one has scored points. None of us had picked Brittany Murphy as a wild card.  In hindsight that seemed like such an obvious pick.  Meanwhile Courtney Love amazingly remains alive, at least in the medical sense.

So anyway, I know we've been slack-assing a bit lately.  But I assure you we're still committed to keeping you satisfied with the same esoteric bullshit that you so dearly love.  At least until we close down.  Then we'll just have the esoteric bullshit at a different URL.

*All eleven of you.
**You don't recall Pomp Culture?  Good, let's keep it that way.

Bartender Banter: Last Call for Interns

Last Friday I announced the TMS Summer Intern project. So far I've received 5 quality applicants, and I'm satisfied enough to close the application process tomorrow. So this is your last call. Send us an email expressing your interest to be considered for the TMS internship by noon central tomorrow. Our email is thundermatts[at]gmail.com. Please note that it's 'thundermatts' and not 'thundermatt'.

So quite the game today huh? Cubs win, the ump tosses Z, Z tosses the ump, Neal Cotts is released into the wild, new callups Jake Fox and Andy White immediately make an impact, Ryan Freel gets hurt like clockwork. Anything I missed?

If Zambrano still had the mustache the umpire would have left.

Bartender Banter

Thank Jebus for the Bulls and Blackhawks, otherwise we may have had to actually write about the Cubs.

Watching them has been pretty miserable lately, but it's still only been a month. There's a lot of season to go. It's ok to be frustrated or angry with the Cubs right now. But to be panicking already is utterly ridiculous. It's the equivalent of panicking over the Bears season after only two games, and sadly I think some of you do that as well.

Thunder Matt Murton batted 2nd and went 2-4 last night for the Rockies.

The first round of the Pete LaCock Region of the CoY Battle Royale wrapped up yesterday morning. Here are the final results.

Kyle Farnsworth beats Terry Adams, 20-8

Turk Wendell beats Kevin Tapani, 17-10

Doug Dascenzo beats Todd Walker, 16-11

Dwight Smith beats Jim Bullinger, 23-4

Here were some of the responses folks left for this round of battles:

• My favorite Turk Wendell moment: Turk is warming up in the bullpen and the camera cuts to him. He's not only scratching his crotch, he's got his whole hand shoved into his pants, which are undone and he's really going to town down there. Chip and Steve are at a complete loss for words and the horrifying image remains on screen for a good 45 seconds before some tech wisely decides to cut away. Awesome.
• Money's on Turk or TMS bud Dwight Smith this round...
• I always thought Todd Walker got a bum rap from Dusty. He was a butcher in the field, but the man could hit.
• Lil' Doug!!!!!

Thanks to all that have participated and check back Monday as the first round in the Ivan DeJesus Region begins.

So, has anyone paid attention the TMS Jukebox Featured Songs at all? We've been putting up a new song each day during the week for a while now. We encourage you to check them out if you get a chance.

Today's song is "Broke Down" by Radio Moscow. This is an up and coming band from Iowa that plays some heavy psychedelic blues rock. If you dig the Black Keys or Wolfmother I highly recommend you check them out. "Broke Down" is off their most recent album entitled "Brain Cycles."

That's all for now. Rockies in 6!

Bartender Banter: Spring is Here

Never mind that it's still February. The Cubs played their first Spring Training game yesterday, therefore Spring has officially begun in my book.

We're still getting settled back in at the Saloon here and I thought I would update our readers with some odds and ends.

• As you can see the Saloon is back and with a new look. Actually it's the same look ripped from our other blog we shall no longer name. One of the new perks is the little ratings option for folks to rate our posts. This will serve as a way for us to see what you like and dislike and strive to provide better content for you in the future....... Nah, that's a bunch of bullshit. The ratings system is just to stroke our own egos and vote 1 on posts that are not our own to piss each other off.

• Baseball is back in swing and so comes the annual TMS baseball previews. This year we'll be doing things differently, posting a team each weekday for the next month. The first preview debuts Monday as Dave Thomas will cover the California Angels.

• Also coming in the next week or so will be the TMS fantasy baseball rankings. I had started them on the other blog and plan to provide a full post with each position ranked. Stay tuned for that in the very near future.

• As I mentioned the Cubs played their first ST game yesterday, which was highlighted by Micah Hoffpauir hitting a grand slam. It's good to know that if something were to happen to Derrek Lee that we got a better option than John Mabry to back him up this time.

• Thunder Matt Murton is in Colorado now and I know some of you are wondering if we'll still keep tabs on him. You're god damn right we will. The Thunder Matt Trophy Room has been cold and lonely lately. It's about time we see some more pitchers' mugs plastered in there.

• Did you hear? Old Style is being kraeusened again! I just got my first 12 pack of it yesterday. A TMS Beer Project is sure to follow. All I can say right now is that if the sound of angels singing had a flavor, it would be this.

• At no point can I see myself this season saying the words, "Oh good, Aaron Miles is up."

• Much like Chuck Norris and bacon, the undying love for mustaches has reached such a ridiculous level of hype that it has become overrated in a sense. Yet I have to say if anyone is going to rock a 'stache with authority it would be Fat Z. Unfortunately he shaved it off. Not that he isn't intimidating enough on the mound as it is, but the mustache would've been the icing on the cake.

• Sure their weren't any big "knock your dick in the dirt" offseason moves this winter, but I don't get why folks are so down about it. Yeah Milton Bradley was our biggest signing, but look at how much other stuff we unloaded. No more Jason Marquis, Ronny Cedeno, Bob Howry? That just saved me a little extra cash on Maalox this season.

• Best new album I've heard recently: Hold Time by M. Ward. Go check it out.

¡Viva Zambrano Bigotudo!

Bartender Banter

Contrary to popular belief, yes, TMS does remain a Cubs blog. You would think that with the Cubs playing so well, there would be numerous things to write about and plenty of inspiration for new posts, new ideas, new efforts. It's draining though, trying to maintain a blog in your spare time with wives, kids, graduate school, pending legal charges, etc. Speaking for all of the Bartenders, we applaud the rest of you bloggers, Cubs and otherwise, that maintain your sites either alone or with only one or two other writers. It's not like anyone makes money off of this stuff. It's a hobby of passion. My neighbors have surfing or remote control cars (yeah, I thought those died in the '80's too). I have a crappy sports blog. We all need/want a diversion in life. This has been our little outlet, and we greatly appreciate the dozens that have cruised our pages.

Now that all that heartfelt garbage is off my chest...

• The Cubs wrap up a series with the Reds this afternoon. If the Reds feel so strongly about their youth movement that they need to write a letter to their fans, then Dusty Baker is not the manager for them. It's difficult to see him coming back next year. I'd be curious to know what the buyout is on his contract. They need to move in the direction of the Indians or Royals, bringing in a younger, more hungry manager to fit the youthful team composition.

• It's fascinating just how great both Sabathia and Harden have been since changing teams. While Harden may not have the durability, the back end of the Cubs bullpen can make it seem as if Harden went a dominant nine. The end result can be the same as a Sabathia complete game, without the risk that the Brewers are running by having C.C. throw 120 pitches per game. What an awful bullpen the Brewers have.

• So, this is probably the last Olympics for softball. Supposedly it's because the U.S. dominates and wins the gold every time out. Well, Japan won the gold yesterday, so that theory can go right to hell. The same goes for Beach Volleyball, which the IOC has discussed shutting down due to May and Walsh's dominance. News flash, this is their last Olympics. So if you win the gold medal in consecutive Olympics, does that mean the sport needs to be dropped? By that logic, we should scrap most of the men's swimming competitions because of Phelps. What a jerk, being good and all. How could these athletes be so selfish?

• The larger discussion should be about the IOC's incompetence in assuring that international competitors are of the proper age, and that judging is not biased. As an example, if an American is diving, should an American judge be giving a score on the dive? I would think not. How is that so difficult to rectify?

• TMS has added a "Read More" link for our longer posts. Sorry we couldn't take care of that sooner. Blame the IOC.

• If you're going to a movie theater, you're allowed to whisper during the previews, but once the film starts, shut up. Just shut up! How is that so hard. Don't vocally complain about the movie while it's going on, and don't hit your armrest to express your displeasure. If you don't like the film, then leave. Again, how are these simple things so hard?

• After today's game, the Nationals will roll into town. It is absolutely necessary to sweep them or at least take two wins. I don't think anyone in the Cubs clubhouse is going to let their guard down, or at least I hope not. We all know the Cubs history of beating the better teams but letting the scrubs of the league have their way with us. We can't rely on the Pirates to stifle the Brewers in Miller Park. September is coming up fast and we need to cushion this lead going into the final two weeks of the season.

Bartender Banter

Batten down the hatches! The khakis are coming! That's right, Wrigleyville will be inundated with red shirts and khaki shorts beginning this afternoon as Albert Poopholes and his band of merry men visit our first-place Chicago Cubs. Cub fans in the bleachers, please remember that Cardinal fans know not what they do. They, like our own Chip Wesley, are poor, misguided souls that have no identity or any hope worth clinging to. Shout at and berate them all you will, but remember that they are innocent pawns and will leave the stadium more scared and bewildered than when they entered it. In other news...

• Look for either a Gist or a Drunk Blog of the Sunday night game on ESPN. I could tell you that we intend to Gist each game of this fantastic series, but honestly, the weather's going to be too beautiful to sit inside at the laptop.

• If the Olympics occur, but you only get to see them in tape delay, do they really happen? Also, the Summer games have nothing on the Winter games. Who gets charged up to watch fast guys run a series of different distances? Daft Funk will have more on the Olympics later today. Go East Germany!

• Hidden in all of the Favre drama was the fact that Chad Pennington was released. He who happens to be the most accurate passer of the decade (statistically). How have the Bears not already signed him?

• Look for a complete Thunderfist recap early next week. We don't want to overlap all of our stories, so we're compiling the entire weekend into one post. This will only matter to those of you who choose to live vicariously through the lives of Internet strangers.

• We're working on updating the Cubs blog links on the sidebar. It will hopefully end up looking more like an RSS feed, where the latest posts from the active Cubs blogs rotate throughout the day.

• For those of you that like soccer, I'm dying to write up a Premier League preview as the season kicks off on the 16th. If I'm ambitious enough, you can look forward to that in two separate posts next week.

• And finally, apologies for the British takeover of the site last weekend. We hope that didn't scare any of our precious few readers away.

Bartender Banter: Surviving TB

Well that was a nice trip to St. Pete, wasn't it? Let us never speak of it again....

Ugh, that whole series was terrible. Well for us at least. I'll say it, the Rays are legit and I hope they can keep it going all season. Taking the division from Boston would give those fans a much-needed humble kick in the taint.

And now, the bullet points

• Oh Thunder Matt. Can we get at least one more home run before you're shipped off in a midseason trade? The 2008 case in the trophy room is covered in dust and cobwebs right now.

• I really have to credit the Rays fans. Whenever the large number of Cubs fans would try a "Let's Go Cubbies!" chant at Tropicana it was always drowned out by a series of boos, cowbells, and other noisemakers. Bravo to you guys for taking a stand and keeping your homefield yours.

• Derrek Lee's OPS in May was .681, and his June OPS is .719 thus far. Yeah a sweep will make you start looking at the cracks in the armor.

• Remember, the Bring the Funk to Chicago fundraiser is still going on.

• Our pal Jordi from The Serious Tip was at the Wednesday game and was kind enough to send us a couple nice shots of Thunder Matt at the plate in what he called "Starting Lineup"-like poses. Check out the photos below.

• I really need to bring the Left Field Link of the Week back, if only to expose you to creepy shit like this.

• Someone go listen to something on TMS Radio. I spend way too much time putting it together for just Brant and I to be using it.

• Speaking of music, some of the best albums I've heard in 2008 thus far include "Consolers of the Lonely" by The Raconteurs, "Attack and Release" by The Black Keys, "Walk it Off" by Tapes 'n Tapes, "Made in the Dark" by Hot Chip and "We Have You Surrounded" by The Dirtbombs. There are quite a few more I want to listen to a few more times before giving the official thumbs up.

• While the fad of RickRolling may have jumped the shark, getting Ast-Raped will never go out of style.

• Overrated: Willie Randolph's "shameful" firing. For further coverage I take you to an actual Mets fan that shares that sentiment. Read this and this.

• Ugh, I'm putting the odds of Sabathia being in Cubby blue at slim and none. The Yanks or Boston will easily offer something better.

• Prince Fielder hit an inside-the-park home run. I can only assume the Toronto outfielder had no limbs.

• Dear NBA Season. You go on too long. Sincerely, Nextel Cup season.

• You're allowed to punch me in the throat for using a lame Jim Rome Show gag just now.

• Most underrated Stones' song: Undercover of the Night.

That's it. I bring nothing to the table. Rockies in 6!

Thunder Matt did in fact get a hit in this series.

Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?

Bartender Banter: Winter Doldrums Edition

God damn snow!

I used to hear people in Southern California say that people living in the Midwest were fools to endure such miserable weather. Well you know what? After spending 5 days in Laguna Beach for ThunderFest 2008 I'm finally in agreeance* (sic) with them. We're complete assholes for sitting through shitty winters up here.

Not much news about the Cubs discussed around here lately. I guess they signed Jon Lieber. Makes sense since bringing back Trachsel worked out so damn well. Next on their wish list, Kevin Tapani. Yeah he's 44 years old, but he's a spry 44.

I decided to put my name on the waiting list for Cubs season tickets, just to see where I would be in line. 79,363rd bitch! No budging.

Can we officially declare this the Dark Ages for sports talk radio? ESPN Radio isn't almost unlistenable now, it IS unlistenable. Seriously, how in the hell did Stephen A. Smith get his own show? All he does is yell at you. I feel like I did something wrong. Pair him up with Hillary Clinton and it feels like your parents are scolding you, but it's not like when you stayed out past curfew as a teenager. It's more like you did something unforgiveable like punch out a nun or something. In fact if I heard them both yelling at the same time I'd feel like punching out a nun. Don't even get me started on Stephen A's strange stints on MSNBC.

ANYWAY, back to sport talk. It's terrible. Apparently they all follow the same steps.

1. Find the hot button topic of the day.
2. State your stance on topic.
3. Continually repeat your stance over and over for 2 hours.
4. Take phone calls while you keep repeating stance.
5. Yell a lot and cut off your callers mid-sentence.
   
6. End show, go back to your lonely darkened apartment.
7. Drink scotch by your lonesome until you pass out in your easy chair.

That's about it. My personal favorite is when they talk about "not talking about" something. I kid you not, I once tuned in and listened to Linda Cohn talk about how she was not going to talk about the Michael Vick story. She talked about "not talking about it" for a full hour! Christ, fine if you're not going to discuss it, but move on and talk about something else then.

Not all is lost however. There are two shows I can still fully endorse out there. The first is the Dan Patrick Show. Dan was the anchor of ESPN Radio for years and without him that ship drifted out to sea and got lost. You can tune in to a live stream of his show in the mornings at his website http://www.danpatrick.com/. The second show is Tony Kornheiser, which made it's return this week after another hiatus for Monday Night Football. Kornheiser can be heard at DC radio station 3WT. He's still by far my favorite sports talk show, despite the fact he hardly talks about sports. You could almost say that TMS is the "Tony Kornheiser" of Cubs blogs. You know because of the lack of Cubs coverage, not for the exemplary writing.

What else? Oh yeah, the Cubs posted their depth chart on the official site. Thunder Matt is listed as Soriano's backup in LF. Thanks for playing Matt. We'll enjoy the occasional times you get a chance to pinch hit.

New England vs. New York in the Super Bowl, or as I called them, "God Dammit!" versus "Ahhh Horseshit!" I hope Eli contracts airborne AIDS.

If you haven't noticed the spiffy little button for TMS Radio in the sidebar yet, it's about damn time you acquaint yourself with it. We've pumped over 1100 songs into that son of a bitch at this point. I'm not going to guarantee you'll like every song but at least it's better than hearing the same .38 Special song at the same time every day on your shitty FM classic rock station.

Oh yeah we have another death to report. No, not Heath Ledger. Suzanne Pleshette passed away.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Suzanne Pleshette, best known for her role as Bob Newhart's wife on television's long-running "The Bob Newhart Show," has died, just days before a ceremony honoring her with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Pleshette, who underwent chemotherapy for lung cancer in 2006, died of respiratory failure Saturday evening at her Los Angeles home, said attorney and family friend Robert Finkelstein.

I'm a little too young to recall the original Newhart Show, but I do remember her in the movie "Hot Stuff" starring alongside Jerry Reed and Dom DeLuise. That movie earned a spot in the pantheon of "Movies that HBO constantly aired during the 80's that I always sat and watched". Other members of the pantheon include "Just One of the Guys" and "Midnite Madness".

Score 6 points to Tommy Buzanis in Death League.

That's all for now. Rockies in 6.

* I included the (sic) because I never feel like people will understand it's a lame joke about Fred Durst.

Bartender Banter: Hot Stoves, Daredevils and BCS BS

So the baseball hot stove has really heated up in the last week. The Yankees and Red Sox are nearly to the point of offering sexual favors to the Twins for Johan Santana, the Angels are trying to land their future DH, Miguel "El Gordo" Cabrera from the Marlins, the Mets ditched Lastings Milledge to Washington for Brian Schneider, Ryan Church and some crack rocks, and several other rumors are swirling all over the place...

...and none of them seem to be involving the Cubs.

Maybe they're just keeping their talks on the down low, I don't know. What I do know is that all we've gotten so far is a mediocre middle infielder, nearly got another one (Thank you Houston!), Ryan Dempster apparently is our #5 starter at the moment, and we don't have anyone to start at CF or RF (Although there's a certain redhead that could take the one spot). The only thing I have heard is that we're trying to land #1 Slugger. That's great, but what if said deal is never realized? Why do I have this feeling we're gonna be heading into opening day with Mike Cameron at CF? Mike Cameron, if ever there was a guy worthy of an overrated post, it'd be him.

Remembering Evel
As you probably already know Evel Kneivel passed away on Friday at the age of 69. What can you say about the guy? It's amazing he lived that long. He jumped numerous things on a motorcycle, he broke an insane amount of bones, he had a walking cane that doubled as a receptacle for his Jack Daniels, and he once beat a man bloody with a baseball bat. He was the face of extreme sports well before anyone was tossing that term around. Plus with no Evel Kneivel, there would've been no Super Dave Osborne. Godspeed Evel.


On the Death League front Daft Funk has scored 7 points and taken the early lead. Here's an update of the standings.

1. Daft Funk - 7 points
2. GovernorGrayDavis - 5 points
3. Six people with 0 points

BCS Bowls Announced
Ohio State and LSU will duke it out for the National Championship. I guess this is better than Missouri vs. West Virginia. The other bowls I'm just confused with. How does Kansas get to play in a BCS bowl but Missouri gets the shaft? So much for being rewarded for playing a tougher schedule. Illinois in the Rose Bowl? Huh? I cannot condone any team that lost to Iowa being worthy of a BCS bid. If this bizarre season proved anything it's that not having a playoff is still absolutely absurd.

Last year I went off on the BCS and made my proposal for a 16 team playoff instead.

"But Chip, then there wouldn't be any bowls for the other teams to go to."

As of right now there are 32 bowls. That means in Division I-A football, which has 120 schools, more than half go to a bowl game. Does anyone else find this a bit ridiculous? Either way, I say keep some of the bowls. 16 teams can play in the playoffs and the other 48 teams can play in a bowl game. Look, unless you're a fan of that school or a compulsive gambler, the vast majority of the bowls are completely pointless anyway, so why not just keep them? Cincinnati can play Florida Atlantic in the Heinz Ketchup Bowl or whatever, that's great. I'll be over here watching the playoffs not paying attention like I would have done anyway.

My proposal for the playoff format consisted of automatic bids for the 11 conference champions, plus 5 at large bids. Looking at the final standings, and using the final BCS rankings for the at larges, this is what the playoff bracket would look like.

Bartender Banter: Crickets Edition

Uhhhhh, hello? Where the hell is everyone? Someone told me this was the place to be, but it's about as lively as a Harry Potter book reading in the Bible Belt. Lame. I'm outta here....

Wait! Hi! Sorry, I was in back checking the kegs. We're still open. Business has slowed since the '07 Cubs have finished up, but we've still got plenty of things going on. Allow me to bring you up to speed.

First of all we've started the official TMS Fantasy Behemoth League. The league consists of 10 managers, including the 7 main bartenders, Nick V. who's a regular reader of ours, Daft Funk's girlfriend E-Claire, and some other person I'm not familiar with. The league will span 3 different sports and we will have the chance to trade players between them. We kicked things off on Sunday with the NBA draft. A recap of that will come in the future. I could go into more detail of how the league will work, but it only seems to make sense in my head right now, so I'll spare you my crazy convoluted gameplan.

The Cubs report cards are still ongoing. I hope to have the outfielders graded within the next week or so.

Lastly, we're about to begin a new feature here at the Saloon. Inspired by the recent update of the AFI 100 Greatest Movies list, I proposed that all of the bartenders prepared their own personal top 100 list that we would compile into one master list. Everyone was fired up for the project, that is until they realized how daunting and shitty of work it was to actually rank 100 movies. So we scaled it back and instead ranked our top 30 movies from the past 30 years. All the lists were compiled into one and the TMS 30 was created. This is surely going to be the hot intellectual talk of the holiday season. Who better to come up with a smart, well-rounded list of quality films, than 7 males between the ages of 24 and 29? Let's just say your girlfriend's favorite movies, probably didn't make the cut, and if they did, she's probably a transvestite with good taste. Look for the countdown to start with #30 later this week.

Oh, and I almost forgot, we came up with a TMS 30 official seal. Check it out. As we countdown our movies, feel free to add this seal to your BluRay, DVD, VHS, Beta, or Laserdisc covers and cases. Just a quick print to the office laser printer, some scotch tape, and voila! Our seal ensures that the movie in question is top notch.

Bartender Banter: Home Runs & Jesus

First off, let me take care of some unfinished business here and get Thunder Matt's final trophy of the regular season up. Congrats Mr. Harang. Matt Murton frickin' owns your ass! Aaron has become the first MLB pitcher to surrender three home runs to Thunder Matt in his career.

I'm hoping maybe we'll get to see a Doug Davis trophy tomorrow morning.

So last night's game huh? Can't say it was the greatest I've seen but then again it certainly doesn't warrant the panic button just yet. It's just the first game folks, relax.

Someone might want to give Frank Caliendo a little extra security this week as he goes about his day. TBS' endless plugs for the atrocious Frank TV last night is bound to send someone over the edge and something rash.

My afternoon yesterday was going great, until Daft Funk sent me a link to this pile of crap on ESPN's Page 2. I was ready to write some scathing piece against it, but didn't have the time or the energy. So I did the next best thing. I sent it on to Hire Jim Essian where Bad Kermit tore it to shreds. Nice job BK.

Lastly, I've got a new playlist up over at TMS Radio, good enough to make you shout, "Praise JEE-SUS!"

Bartender Banter: Late Morning Quickie

OK I've got some business to take care of here before we bring you this afternoon's post, which I promise to be much better than the following drivel.

Belated Trophy
People are on my ass about this. I didn't forget, I just couldn't get the plaque made until yesterday and I was too lazy to put it up.


There are you happy? I have to say though, that was one of the more impressive Thunder Matt homers I've ever seen. It hit the screen of the Batter's Eye Lounge. I'm not sure how far away that is, but that was a monster shot.

Thunder Matt Day at the Ballpark
Tomorrow I will be joining fellow bartenders Chaim and Dave at Wrigley to take in a Cubs game and about a gallon of Old Style. There's talk of a Tommy Buzanis appearance for some postgame shenanigans as well. I'll probably be sporting the TMS shirt, in support of Thunder Matt as well as a shameless promotion of the site. Like always, if you see me, feel free to say hello and I'll let you buy me a beer.

Cubs need this game if they want to hang on to first place. Hopefully they can get it together and take down Dodgers starter Eric Stults. If they can't scrounge up some runs with Rocky Dennis on the mound, then there is no hope for them.

Bartender Banter: Riding the Storm Out

Yuck. That image says it all. What a crappy way to end the weekend. No matter. The Cubs are still a game and a half ahead of the Brewers, who now sit at .500. Starting tomorrow the two teams will face each other for the last time this season in a three game series at Miller Park. If everything goes right, we could be putting the Brewers to rest for good, leaving only the Cards to worry about*.

Just in time for the pivotal series, Alfonso Soriano will return to the lineup. Hopefully his presence alone will give this team a nice confidence boost.

Hurricane League Update
Well we had two storms make some noise recently. My first round pick, Erin reached Tropical Storm status before making landfall near the Texas-Mexico border. Not a bad performance as I netted 85 points from her.

The big winner though was Chaim, who's first round pick Dean kicked some ass in the Caribbean. Becoming the first hurricane of the season, Dean wreaked havoc on the Lesser and Greater Antilles before hitting the coveted Category 5 mark before slamming into Mexico. The official score on Dean: 235 points. Well done Chaim.

So here's how standings breakdown.

1. Chaim Witz - 230 points
2. Chip Wesley - 90 points
3. Brant Brown - 60 points
4. Chi-Town Girl - 0 points
5. Governor Gray Davis - 0 points

The Govenor and Chi-Town haven't had any storms yet, but that should change soon. The Gov took Felix and Gabrielle with his first two picks and Chi-Town took Humberto in the first round.

Time for Football
I have to admit. With the Cubs still very much in the playoff hunt, I really haven't devoted much time to the fast-approaching football season. Not that I would have any idea what was going on had I tuned in anyway. Every time you flip to ESPN it's all about Michael Vick. Apparently he did something to a dog and now people are mad. I don't know, I haven't heard much about this.

Anyway, you can look forward to some sort of a football preview this week from us. Also I updated my fantasy football cheat sheets a while back, so check them out if you've got a draft coming up. The latest update now includes IDP as well. If you don't know what IDP is, you probably don't have it in your league, so don't worry about it.

TMS Radio Revival
I'm working on getting this going again. The plan is to make it an ongoing feature with various playlists put together by the bartenders. I'm working on a separate site that will serve as the home for TMS Radio and archive all the playlists we create, so readers can check them out any time they please. Stay tuned.

They're All Wasted!
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living.
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven.
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Thanks to everyone who voted on our Cubs Theme Song Poll. Baba O'Riley by The Who was the winner, beating out Don't Stop Me Now by Queen by 4 votes. So what now? Did our lowly poll really matter or change anything? Probably not. But you can do your part. Wherever you are, at a bar, at home with friends, at work, or by yourself. Anytime the Cubs finish victorious, crank up Baba O'Riley on your stereo, iPod, computer, parent's hi-fi, or bar jukebox. Maybe, just maybe we can create a trend. Hell, the trend may already be starting. Check out this email we got from TMS regular Nick V.

True story, I kid you not. I was at Cortland Garage in Bucktown tonight. As soon as the Cubs beat the D-Backs, they blasted "Baba O'Riley." This only has one of two explanations... (And NO, I did not request it, nor did anyone that I saw)

1) They are frequent visitors to the Thunder Matt blog and adhered to the poll wishes and blasted Baba O'Riley
2) Fate. Fate. Fate. And the Cubs will win it all in 2007.

You decide. I just work here.

Cheers,

Nick V

Honestly, I'm hoping for all of the above.

Bartender Banter: Mail It In Monday

Well after fighting it all weekend, the rain finally won the battle last night as the Cubs/Cards game was postponed. Too bad too since Fat Z was pitching good and you know we would've gotten to Kip Wells eventually.

The Cubs face Joel Pineiro today. This will be his first time pitching in Wrigley and for a good number of Cubs, the first time they ever see him (Ramirez, Lee, Theriot, Murton have never faced Joel before). DeRosa and Ward have seen him a handful of times with minimal luck. Kendall is 6-26 lifetime against him. The only guy that has hit him well fortunately is Jock Jones who's been our hottest hitter of late. Jones is 11-31 against Pineiro with 1 HR and 5 RBI. Hopefully they can get to Pineiro early, as he's been pitching quite well against NL hitters since coming to St. Louis.

Daryle Ward is evidence of what a good player on the bench can be. Are you taking notes Dusty? Lenny Harris or Jose Macias he is certainly not.

I don't have much else this morning so here's a list of some new sites I've added to our links recently. Be sure to check them out.

4 Fans Sake - A noble and refreshing concept thought up by a group of Chicagoans. Can the Cubs be purchased by the fans? That's their hope. You can log in and give a virtual pledge to their cause.

Shawn-o-meter - A great new Cubs forum named after Wrigley legend Shawon Dunston and the famous "makeshift placard" in the bleachers that measured Dunston's current AVG.

The Ted Lilly Fan Club - Move over Mr. Murton, you're no longer the only Cub with a blog dedicated to you. The guys at TLFC have been going strong since May and continue to show their love and support towards Ted Lilly as well as ridiculously long acronyms.

I'm Just Saying - As of right now it appears this blog is down or out of commission or something. I'm hoping it's just temporary as this is an enjoyable blog to read. Marty Gallagher writes some great stuff about the Cubs and brings interesting and thought-provoking discussion to the table, which is something we strive for here but fail miserably.

Enjoy your Monday.

Bartender Banter: Pulling Up Lame

Well that sucked.

It was a rough weekend series, between the shoddy defense, to the miserable bullpen work, to having to endure McCarver/Buck one day and Joe Morgan the next. Last night's game could be the one that we look back on later as the turning point for the Cubs season if they falter down the stretch. Soriano pulling up lame on his way to third base drew gasps from the crowd, and you could just sense the total deflation happening inside Wrigley. Turns out, Soriano will likely be out for a month, which leaves us with a gaping hole in left field as well as the lead off spot.

Then there was the pitching. How much more of this will we have to endure? Will Ohman has been absolutely atrocious as of late, and Scott Eyre and Ryan Dempster haven't been much better. At least Kerry Wood's one inning of work sparked some enthusiasm back into the crowd, and just for a little while, we could witness what a good relief pitcher can look like.

By the way, seeing Joe Morgan and Jon Miller in HD = Yikes!

So now they hit the road starting with tonight's game in Houston. One would assume that with Soriano out, Ryan Theriot will get first shake at the leadoff spot. Of course I'm pulling for Thunder Matt to see time at left field and with lefty Wandy Rodriguez starting tonight, I think he'll probably get the start, with possibly Pagan in CF and Floyd in RF. Of course with Soriano hitting the DL, that would most likely bring Felix Pie back for another run.

I'm not ready to hit the panic button yet though. We still have two months to go, and there's still some good talent on this team. Let's just see if this series against Houston will get things back on track.

Football? What's a Football?
It's about that time again. As the NFL season is about a month away, you can expect to see some football coverage to begin real soon at the Saloon. We plan on bringing you our own NFL preview, and perhaps a return of the TMS Tecmo Super Simulator 2000 later on. Also for you fantasy geeks out there. Be sure and check our football rankings, which I hope to have updated later this week.

Fantasy Hurricane League Update
Well so far things have been pretty quiet in the 2007 TMS Fantasy Hurricane League. Here's a quick recap of what's transpired.

Subtropical Storm Andrea, May 9 to May 11 - My fourth round pick. It never quite made landfall and was pretty much a bust. Score = 5 points.

Tropical Storm Barry, June 1 to June 2 - The number one overall pick never gained much strength, but made solid landfall in the states. Score = 55 points.

Tropical Storm Chantal, July 31 to August 1 - Brant's second round pick only affected Newfoundland, but since Canada isn't in our scoring table, this storm proved to be inconsequential. Score = 5 points.

So after three storms here is the current standings.

1. Brant Brown - 60 points
2. Chip Wesley - 5 points
3. Chaim Witz - 0 points
4. Chi-Town Girl - 0 points
5. Governor Gray Davis - 0 points

TMS Radio, Take 2
I was playing around with things on MediaMaster today and noticed they've made a few changes to how the radio stations work. The biggest improvement being that now when you listen to the radio station on your media player (Winamp, iTunes), it will display the name of the song and the artist. It didn't have that before so if you weren't familiar with a song, you had no idea what it was or who it was from. I may play around with this once again in the coming weeks. The embedded media player will not be coming back though as it severely bogged the site down.

Bartender Banter: Optimism Waning

Wait, did we just drop 2 of 3 to the Texas Rangers? A team that has allowed more runs than anyone in the majors other than Tampa Bay? A team whose staff "ace" is the 3-8, 6.69 ERA Vicente Padilla? Jebus. These are the series that we need to be winning if we're going to have any semblance of a chance. Now we're 8.5 games behind the Brewers (who've won 8 of their last 10 by the way), and are even a game behind the St. Louis Cardinals. The Cardinals! They've resorted to starting Todd frickin' Wellemeyer and we're a game behind them?



Seriously, you're telling me we lost to that guy?

<===========================

(sigh of despondency)





My optimism is waning fast folks. I just feel like we've had the carrot dangled in front of our faces for an extra month is all. Unless we can pull a 2005 Astros run in the second half, which happens practically never, I'm not holding out much hope for this season.

But hey, the implosion on the Southside has been a real treat!

The Barrett Trade
Now that it's been a few days since the Michael Barrett for Rob Bowen and Kyle Tyler Kyler Burke trade, it seems the main consensus of fans aren't terribly upset Michael is gone, but wish that Hendry had gotten a little more for him. Eh, maybe, but I don't think we got entirely hosed on the deal by any means either. Barrett was an asset in the batters box, but a huge liability behind the plate and on the basepaths. Looking around the Cubs blogosphere, I'd say that Andy Dolan's article over at Desipio explains the whole thing best. A good read.

Also the next person that says "addition by subtraction" gets punched in the throat.

And lastly, let's not rag too hard about this Kyler Burke kid. He's only 19 and he's in his first full season of professional baseball. You need to wait at least a couple years and then if he hasn't made significant strides, then you can rag on him. I've got my calender circled the next time Peoria swings into town though, so I'll try to catch a game, and maybe catch a glimpse of possible Cub future stars.

Bartender Banter: Site Revamp

Well, everything seems to be in order now, and TMS Version 3.1 is fully operational. The big change with his latest revamp was more behind the scenes than anything as I switched our old HTML template to a new friendlier XML one. There are a few new features I'd like to quickly mention.

TMS Radio
Some of you may have noticed this last week, but in the righthand sidebar we now have TMS Radio. Basically it's various songs we've picked out that are available for any of the Saloon regulars to come in and enjoy. You can listen to them in the little media player on our site, or click the button below it and download the live stream file to play on Winamp or iTunes. My hope is to have the radio station change about once a week and have each bartender take turns offering up their own personal playlist. Right now TMS Radio is featuring songs selected by Brant Brown.

Labels
All the cool kids are using labels these days, and now we're fully onboard this fad as well. While we've been tagging our posts for a few months now, readers finally can browse all of our labels in the left sidebar. Wanna read all the All-80's Team posts or anything that involved Mel Gibson? Worry no more as it can all be easily found in the Labels section.

Thunder Matt in AAA Update
So after two games in AAA, Murton has been 0-for-7 with 2 walks and zero strikeouts. That's not going to get you back in Chicago any time soon. I still predict that he'll pull things together. I mean how hard can it be to hit in the PCL? Ronny Cedeno is batting .355 for gods sake!

Bartender Banter: Baseball in the AM

11:30 start today. That's always fun. Well Ted Lilly showed us that he was worth the money (at least for one start). Now we get to see how Jason Marquis will fare. My expectations are pretty low for him. Remember that an ERA below 6.00 this season would be consider an improvement. Last year Marquis faced Cincinnati only once, and lasted for only 2.2 innings, giving up 9 hits, 1 walk and 4 runs. Yeesh. Also Eric Milton Kyle Lohse, I'm getting the Thunder Matt HR trophy ready, just in case.

The Winds are Blowing
Well with the latest reports that the 2007 hurricane season is expected to be a busy one, rest assure that we'll be doing the Fantasy Hurricane League again this season. For those not familiar, check out these posts regarding last year's season. Last year El Nino ruined what promised to be a good season. I have higher hopes this year. Come on global warming, don't fail me now! Expect the draft results sometime in the coming weeks.

Check out the Newbies
It's been almost a year since our humble blog got it's start and it seems like yesterday we were pumping out our nonsensical posts with nary a reader who cared. Now, thanks to tireless networking with several other great blogs out there, we've developed a following that I can only estimate numbers in the 20's at this point. How far we've come (cue Mary Tyler Moore theme song).

Anyway, now that we've got what some could possibly conceive as a genuine readership, I thought I'd help out some of the newer Cub blogs, who were much like us in our early days, just trying to get our voice heard (and by voice, I mean Ronald McDonald's drunken ramblings of course). So here's a quick plug for a few of the new guys out there.

Fire Lou Piniella!/Hire Jim Essian! - From the folks that brought you Fire Dusty Baker!, comes Fire Lou Piniella! and Hire Jim Essian! Don't be confused by the other Fire Dusty/Lou sites out there. This is the one that matters. It appears since they couldn't get a decent domain registered for Hire Lou that they'll be writing at Hire Jim mainly now. Be sure to check out their Bottom 126.

A Hundred Next Years - An aptly titled blog, with the Cubs approaching a century of no World Series ring. This site features thoughts and opinions from a lifelong Cub fan.

Lollygaggers - The most recent addition to the Cubs Blog Army, the guy known as Clute is one of the few that could be considered a regular customer of the Saloon and one of the first to regularly refer to Murton as 'Thunder Matt' on his site. Lollygaggers is one of only two blogs out there I know of that reference Bull Durham in their name.

Lost In the Ivy - Part of the Sweet Home Sports site, Lost In the Ivy provides some funny takes on the Cubs travails.

Wrigleyville23 - Despite only being up since November, Wrigleyville has already put up almost twice as many posts as we have here at TMS. Needless to say, you can expect new content up frequently.

Raise the W Flag - And lastly we bring you the newest of the new. Raise the W got of to their humble beginning just last month. I actually found them by doing a "Thunder Matt" search on Technorati. Anyone using the Thunder Matt nickname is always a friend in our book.

So if you have some time, be sure to give them all a read.

Pulling a Buzanis
We have a new term for you to add to your daily lexicon, and that term is "Pulling a Buzanis". Named for our incredibly aloof bartender Tommy Buzanis, who on several occasions has promised to write his first article for TMS over a weekend, only to disappoint us with his failure to come through on his word.

Just like your uncle that promised to take you to Chuck E. Cheese but instead got drunk, and wound up at the dog track instead. Or your buddy drinking half your pitcher of beer and then claiming "I'll get the next one," only to ditch out 5 minutes later. Or Axl Rose's periodic claims that Chinese Democracy is coming out soon, pulling a Buzanis can be a great disappointment for many. Hell it's even garnered it's very own t-shirt at the TMS store.

Yet as I write this, I am reminded that I'm pulling a Buzanis myself, by repeatedly saying that a "Steve Alford: War Criminal" column is coming soon, yet I haven't delivered. Honestly I wanted to have it done by now, but the baseball previews took more time than I thought they would. That and with Alford's move to New Mexico, the whole piece seemed to lose some of it's urgency. Anyway, I expect to have the column up......uh......soon.

Bartender Banter: Spring Fling

Trying to catch two birds with one stone, the Cubs are trotting Wood and Prior out to the mound today against the Mariners. That way if both get injured pitching, it can all happen in one day and we won't be teased with the possibility of the other staying healthy.

While the Wood/Prior injury bugs have been the ongoing joke with Cubs fans for a while now, I think it's bored a seriously deep hole in our psyche. Watching these guys pitch isn't even enjoyable any more. If they're getting lit up, we grumble that something isn't right with them. If they're pitching lights out, we grumble that it's just a matter of time before the other shoe drops, and their arm falls off. I guess the real plus is that our expectations are so low at this point, that any semblance of a healthy season from them would be deemed a success.

Thunder Matt Swinging Well
Murton looked great the other day, going 3-for-3 against the Angels, including a home run off of Joe Saunders. Don't worry Joe, a spring homer doesn't count towards the Trophy Room. Just feel privileged you got to experience the raw awesomeness of Thunder Matt and try to learn from the experience.

Stay Classy, Andy Masur
Andy Masur has left WGN for a job calling games on the radio for the San Diego Padres. Best of luck to Andy. He always seemed like a pretty good guy. My only critique is that when he's calling a game, his tone never changes in spite of what's going on. He sounds the exact same if the Cubs hit a grand slam as he does when they ground into an inning-ending double play. Now I'm not expecting you to be a complete homer like our beloved Ron, but at least Pat gets a tinge of excitement in his voice whenever a ball is soaring towards the fence. I listen to the day games at work through Gameday Audio. Since I work in cubicle-land I have to keep things as Milton says, "at a reasonable volume". Therefore I depend on Pat and Ron's change of voice to recognize if something big just happened. I don't know how many rallies I missed last year while Andy was calling the bottom of the 7th. Actually, the way the Cubs played last year, it probably wasn't many.

Like I Needed Another Reason to Hate Them
Bush league, sore loser, classless, dick move, whatever you wanna call it, Gerald Henderson gave us one more reason to hate the Duke Blue Devils.

I don't get the appeal of them. As far as college sports are concerned I think there are only two legitimate reasons to be a fan of a school.

1. You grew up in the region, watching and following that school.
2. You are a student or alum of that school.

That's it. If you don't fall into one of those two categories, I have a little less respect for you. So given that Duke's undergraduate enrollment hovers around 6,000, and that North Carolina natives aren't overly ubiquitous across the country, I think it's safe to assume that most of you "Dookies" are lame-ass posers. These people are just as bad as the ones that in late-2004 suddenly had a Red Sox hat sprout from their head and began to talk like Will Hunting. Bah, I guess I'm never going to understand it. I dread the day the Cubs win the big one, and we see how many "life-long" fans come out of the woodwork.

More to come this week...
Speaking of rooting for college sports, I plan on divulging why the basketball team I grew up cheering for I've grown to loathe....

The NL Central Preview should be up in the next day or so....

The Governor brings us another installment of his James Bond exposé....

And possibly the maiden post from Tommy Buzanis.....maybe? Come on Buzanis! We at least got two articles out of Martin Gramatica before he disappeared into the wilderness to write his manifesto.

Bartender Banter: A Bucket of Junk

Here are a handful of things I want to quickly touch upon now that we're back from vacation.

A Message from Mr. Tufts
A few weeks ago we received an email at TMS from Bob Tufts. It simply read,

"Thx. I liked being a filler - kind of like the Cubs existence in the majors..."

I was completely dumbfounded by this message at first as I didn't have a clue who this was or what he was referring to. Eventually I figured it out. Checking back at my All-80's NL Center Field post, I found my answer in the Chili Davis writeup where I wrote,

"Chili's card is ruined by Bob Tufts choading it up on the right. At least Brenly managed a World Series champion. What did Tufts ever do besides be trade fodder for the Giants to acquire Atlee Hammaker?"

Suddenly his comment made sense, thus marking the first time in TMS history a former major leaguer has written something about our site. My only response to his zinger I guess is, "Touche Bob, touche." I sense a Baseball-Reference page sponsorship in the future.

Bob seems like he's a pretty interesting guy too. I found this article about the leaks in the grand jury testimony in the BALCO case from two years ago, in which he posted a lengthy comment. Apparently he was blackballed from the league based on guilt by association during the Pittsburgh drug trials in the early 80's.

Thunder Matt on MySpace?
A while back I discovered that Matt Murton supposedly created his own MySpace page. Not only that, but he actually refers to himself as Thunder Matt. Even in his photos, there is one picture that was taken directly from our site. I also love that one of his 'friends' is Old Style. Seriously, the frickin' beer has a MySpace page. Good to see that inanimate objects aren't being left out of the MySpace revolution.

This marks the third supposed MySpace page of Murton. The first two being this one, and this one. This most recent one however seems to be the most active and the guy pretending to be Thunder Matt is making his presence known all over the MySpace realm.

I'd just like to state that Thunder Matt's Saloon nor any of it's bartenders are affiliated with this MySpace endeavor. Having said that, I do support his work in getting the Thunder Matt nickname further spread out there to the Cubs faithful.

The whole baseball player MySpace page is a bit weird in general though. I'd venture to guess that 99.9% of them are complete phonies. Like most of the ones I've seen the main photo is completely ripped off from the MLB.com player profile pages. Even if these guys actually had the time to spend creating and maintaining a MySpace page, wouldn't they have their own personal photos to add instead of the ones easily found on a Google search? Well, given his um, history, I guess I can't rule out Zambrano actually having a legit MySpace.

The Return Of Mr. Tony
Tomorrow morning marks the return of Tony Kornheiser to the radio airwaves. After taking a hiatus from his morning talk show to do the MNF gig, Tony is back on Washington Post Radio doing his show from 8:30 to 10:30am Eastern, followed by a repeat airing immediately after. I've already checked and the Post radio station does have a free online streaming broadcast. If you can't wait until tomorrow morning, perhaps this will tide you over.

In Other News....
Felix Pie and Alfonso Soriano are hitting it off so far at Spring Training camp as Alfie looks to be a mentor. Meanwhile a despondent Jacque Jones sits in the corner sharpening his knife collection.

The Cubs announced a deal where Under Armour will have their logos on the outfield walls at Wrigley. Well actually it'll just be on the doors in the outfield wall. My feelings? Eh. I don't see this as reason for some big public outcry. And to those that say all these ads are destroying the old nostalgic ballparks, well I guess you're right. I mean can you imagine if such legendary places like Ebbets Field had advertisements all over it's outfield wall? Oh, wait....

It looks like the Cubs and Zambrano are working hard to avoid arbitration and get a deal hashed out. Thank God. After an offseason where the Cubs were unloading dump trucks of cash on various free agents' lawns, it would be an absolute crime to not pay Z his money. I don't know if I could've handled seeing Carlos in a Yankees or even worse, a Red Sox uniform.

Norv Turner is the new head coach of the San Diego Chargers. Because when you can replace a coach that led your team to a 14-2 record, with a guy that has been wildly mediocre at best as a head coach with Washington and Oakland, you gotta make that move*.

*Apologies to Sports Guy for stealing one of his bits.