Cubs of Yore: David Patton

Ron Weasley: Nervous pitcher

Name: David Christopher Patton

Nicknames: Powder, O-Face, Jake's Stunt Double

Media Guide Year: 2009

Acquired: From the Reds for cash considerations the same day they picked him up in the Rule V draft in 2008. JIM HENDRY: DEALMAKER

Random Write-Up: David Patton was a Rule V guy who had an impressive Spring Training once upon a time. The Cubs, one playoff collapse removed from being perhaps the best team in baseball, were slated to contend for the pennant. It follows, then, that they would spend the majority of the year keeping a roster spot for a guy who had gone 4-5 in for the single-A Modesto Nuts the previous season. Right? Congratulations, you're Jim Hendry!

It became apparent fairly soon that the man was as overmatched as he was hairless, culminating in a Saturday relief appearance against the Cardinals in May 2009 that was so cartoonishly brutal it should have been the first act of an underdog Disney baseball movie. Subbing in for Sean Marshall with the Cubs down 3-1 against the hated rivals in St. Louis, our man gave up a single and proceeded to walk the bases full for Albert Pujols, who has been known to do some clutch hitting in his time. With the bases loaded and the meth-mouthed rabble of Busch stadium as far toward the edge of their seats as their fat fucking asses will allow, Mr. Patton throws a fastball down the middle to the best hitter in baseball. Game. Fucking. Over. Final score 8-2, Cards.

In 27.2 relief innings that year, the man we had to hang on to, lest he be scooped by an enterprising rival, managed a 1.807 WHIP and an ERA north of 6. He got "injured" and placed on the DL after the deadline had passed for the Cubs to hang on to him. Jim Hendry was said to have been seen tenting his fingers and laughing at a plate of chicken nachos later that evening. He need not have bothered. One crappy season in Daytona later, he was cut loose for good. He presumably wanders the central plains now, righting wrongs and teaching Mormon women about kung-fu love.

At least he got a cool $400,000 for his trouble, and a minor spot in the Cubs team history. Better than I can say. Of course, I never had Albert Pujols crush my soul either.

Also of Note: Over a thousand people have watched this video of him throwing a routine bullpen session in 2009. This makes me far more depressed and disappointed in the Internet than all but the darkest German scat porn found in the dank FTP basements of the web's underbelly. 

Cubs of Yore: Jose Macias

As a legitimate blogger who posts nearly weekly, I've made it a habit during my adult life to pick up a crisp, new Official Chicago Cubs Media Guide at the beginning of every year. No, I don't know why either. But now I find myself with a stack of these, and thus am able to throw myself down the rabbit hole of the Cubs careers that never were.

Name: Jose Prado Salazar Macias

Nickname(s): Joze Mackey, Now Pinch-Hitting, That Guy - What's His Name I Can Never Remember

Media Guide Year: 2004

Position: 3B/OF

Acquired: Traded from Montreal for Wilton Chavez, who has pitched for 14 different minor league teams, if you count the Mexican League.

Random Write-Up: Born in Panama City, Panama, a hardscrabble metropolis notable mostly for its vicious dancefighting culture.

Signed in 1992 by Montreal, which used to be a franchise that existed. Not many people saw them, though. Played in Montreal's minor league system from 1994 until 1997, when he was went to Detroit as a Rule 5 draft. Finally made the majors in 1999, where he was a lifetime .256 switch hitter with 26 home runs and 173 RBI. Came to the Cubs in 2004 and played two years as "that guy," then went to the Nippon-Hokkaido Ham Fighters, and the Diablo Rojos of the Mexican League a couple years after that.

Notice anything? Bland. He's perhaps the blandest of the mid-2000s Cubs, which is saying something. He makes Daryle Ward look like Mark Grace in terms of charisma. If he were white, I'd call him Whitebread, but I'll stay away from baking terms, as Brownbread sounds pretty racist.

Also of Note: He was at Wrigley on June 6, 2004, helping Greg Maddux win his 5th game of that year, back when we were a trendy World Series pick and LaTroy Hawkins was a name that people on the North Side hadn't yet begun to despise. It was also the first game at Wrigley where I enjoyed a wax paper cup of Old Style. I ... may or may not have been 20 years old at the time. It's where I got this media guide I inexplicably hang on to!

You May Remember Him From: You won't remember Jose Macias. But you all remember the concept of Jose Macias in your Cubs fan hearts.

Cubs of Yore: Mickey Morandini

Nicknames: The Crippler, Dandy Little Glove Man

Played for The Cub: '98 and '99

Random Write-up: Moran-fuckin-dini was pretty much money during his short stint with the Cubs. He came over in '98 in a trade with Philly for Doug Glanville. He was the type of player that the current Cubs are in such dire need of - a guy who does all the little things. He got on base, bunted, fielded well (hence the nickname brandished by Stoney), had a mini-mullet, wore a WT goatee, always looked pissed. A few memorable moments come to mind when I think back to The Crippler's tenure. The first thing was that he always carried the legacy of turning an unassisted triple play back in his Phillie years. It was inevitable during a nationally televised game that the announcer would mention it. Before you joke, this was 1998, playoff team, Sosa doing 'roids and "saving" baseball. Secondly, the guy had a remarkable resemblance to Chris Benoit of the WWE. For the record, my brother gave him the nickname of The Crippler since it's the same as Benoit's, no one else has ever called him The Crippler to my recollection. Lastly, and most importantly, I vividly remember a game in '99 when DLGM got hit on the back of the arm by a pitch. He took a deep breath, scowled, yelled "FUCK" at the top of his lungs, and then ran to first. All of this was done while the camera was zoomed in on him. God that was funny.

What the hell?: Even though he wasn't an All-Star for The Cubs (he was a '95 All-Star for Philly), he inexplicably received an MVP vote in 1998. What? Somebody clearly hated Sammy Sosa.

Also of Note: He's tied with Ryno for the highest fielding percentage ever by a second baseman. Mickey opted out of the 1987 MLB Draft so he could play baseball for the USA in the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, Korea where he and his teammates took home the gold medal. The DLGM now lends his baseball wisdom to Valparaiso High School in Indiana, where he is the head baseball coach. And perhaps just to prove that baseball isn't the only thing that defines Mickey Morandini, he and his wife run their own stationary store. Aww!

You May Remember Him From: that time that TMS visited The Cubs Media Social

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Cubs of Yore: Double Dipping to the Finals

Hi-ya, sportsfans! You haven't forgotten about the Cubs of Yore Battle Royale, have you? We're down to two finalists: Glenallen Hill and Keith Moreland. Oh the suspense is terrible, I hope it will last! It's Friday, so if you're even at work, now would be a good time to crack open a slightly chilled bottle of Grain Belt beer and switch your office phone to "away". Read through this a few times and then wonder why they call them roofies and not "floories" or "rape-ees". If your boss questions you, simply tell him or her, "Um, I'm kind of busy here."

I'm sure Chip Wesley will put up one of his bright and shiny web polls so you can cast your vote. THIS TIME IT COUNTS.

GLENALLEN HILL

Nickname: The Angry Black Man, G-Hill

Played for The Cub: '93-'94, '98-'00

Random Write-up: Let's face it, The Angry Black Man was fun to watch. He never smiled. He'd only swing a bat with his arms. He said he never lifted weights because he would get too big -- he only did situps and jumped rope with a weighted rope. Rumors that his "jump ropes" were actually tugboat cables have never been proven. (It also has never been disproven). The guy wasn't exactly known for his defense out in left. It was once said by Mariner pitching coach Bryan Price that seeing him play the field was “akin to watching a gaffed haddock surface for air." Mysteriously, Bryan Price was never heard from again, and along with the Lindbergh Baby, his disappearance remains one of the great unsolved mysteries. The Angry Black Man giveth, and he taketh away.

Drafted by the Blue Jays in the 9th round of the 1983 Draft, G-Hill was always known for his prodigious home runs. In 1999, he was reluctantly wearing blue shoes after MLB told him that he could not continue wearing his favorite red shoes. Angrier than normal, he took his typical arms-only swing, and became the first ever person to put a shot on the rooftops across the street from Wrigley. In typical fashion, his expression never changed, and he circled the bases with his head down and his arthritic knees hobbling along. Truly a shot that has made grown men weep. Yeah, you know you want to see it again.

What the hell?: Once missed a game for a mess of cuts and bruises suffered during a nightmare. The Big G is reportedly TERRIFIED of spiders (arachnophobia). Consequently, he had a nightmare about spiders, freaked out, and ran around like only The Angry Black Man can. While most people's careers or lives would have ended, Angry took a trip on the 15-day DL. No one had the guts to make fun of him, natch. Reportedly broke his bat on a check swing despite no contact of the ball. He was also arguing balls and strikes with an ump one time (he choose not to rip his spinal column out) and the ump told the pitcher to throw anyway. G stepped back in at the last second and inside-outted a double to right.

Also of Note: Career (estimated) earnings of $11,245,000 -- he is currently a coach for the Colorado Rockies. Was originally traded to The Cub for Candy "Ass" Maldonado.

KEITH MORELAND

Nickname: Zonk

Played for The Cub: 1982 - 1987

Random Write-up: Keith patrolling the outfield or third base wasn't exactly poetry in motion. In fact, his awkwardness and unusually slow speed lead me to believe he was actually fat. After looking back at some pictures, I realized I was wrong. I guess that's one of those things you just associate when you're but a little kid, seeing Moreland bumbling around the field or the basepaths. You can't knock him for effort, though. The guy played when and where he was asked, whether it be catcher, third, or left field. Probably the lasting impression many have of him is his love for Texas. He went to The University of Texas and always saluted the Bleacher Bums with the hook-'em-horns gesture. I also vaguely remember him hitting a homerun and trying to do a cartwheel after he crossed home. It looked like someone threw a sack of potatoes off the back of a work truck. Real graceful.

What the Hell?: He won a World Series ring with his original team, the Phillies. He was one of the many that Dallas Green brought over during the rebuilding phase of the early 80's which was actually somewhat successful. He was traded to the Cub for Mike Krukow and cash. In 1985, he hit .307 and had 106 RBI.

Also of Note: Career (estimated) earnings of $5.4 million. Not bad for a klutz, eh? Currently is involved in UT baseball, announcing games from the booth. Rumored to be doing some work for ESPNU. Also played football at UT, which probably explains the lumbering. I'm guessing fullback or blocking tight end. As many of you know, this year Keith has been filling in for Santo on radio broadcasts, and has proven to be a great color man. He actually gives the listeners game analysis instead of the "Oh yes!" and "Dang it!" and "Jeez!" that we've been accustomed to.

Cubs of Yore: The "Marginal" Edition

I've taken some good-natured flak from the other bartenders regarding my Koyie Hill mancrush. I know that Hill is a marginal player at best, yet he's one of my favorite players on the team. He may not hit, but he plays hard and calls a good game behind the plate. My favorite current Cub is Aramis Ramirez, who's legitimately a "good" ballplayer and the Cubs have a lot of guys now who could be considered superstars or above average players. As I was growing up, this wasn't always the case. Sure, the Cubs had Mark Grace, Andre Dawson, Ryne Sandberg, Sammy, and Sutcliffe, but a lot of times the rosters were filled with guys a lot like Koyie Hill. Guys who are good enough to be in the bigs, but not necessarily the guys you think of as "elite" or "favorite" players. I think most everybody has a guy like that that they root for, regardless of how well they play. I compiled a list of ten players who I admired at various times throughout the years. These guys may not all be All-Stars and they may never reach the Hall of Fame, but at one time or another, I thought they were awesome.

10. Lance Johnson-Ah, the One Dog. Johnson played for the Cubs for three seasons, including the 1998 Wildcard winners and the trainwreck that was the 1999 Cubs. Johnson came to the Cubs from the Mets in 1997 as part of a trade that included Mark Clark and Manny Alexander. The Cubs sent Brian McRae, Turk Wendell, and Mel Rojas to NY. I always liked Lance, but damned if I remember why as he spent quite a bit of time being injured.

9. Scott Servais-I had no idea that Servais is now the Director of Player Development for the Texas Rangers. Crazy. Remember when catchers, second baseman, and shortstops didn't have to hit well to be on a big league team? Before "Chicks Dig the Long Ball" changed everything?

8. Doug Glanville-If you don't like Doug Glanville, there's no hope for you. One of baseball's real good guys, Doug was a Cub in 1996 and 97 before being traded to the Phillies for Mickey Morandini. He would return in 2003 to help the Cubs secure a playoff birth. He's currently part of Baseball Factory and probably one of the very few guys you can be absolutely positive didn't use steroids. Why? Because his mama wouldn't have liked it, that's why.

7. Turk Wendell-Turk Wendell was certifiably nuts. He brushed his teeth between innings, chewed black licorice, and jumped over the foul lines coming on and off the field. My favorite Turk Moment, which I mentioned during the Battle Royale, was when the WGN cameras caught him scratching Lil' Turk in the bullpen, pants undone and unzipped, with his whole hand shoved in there going to town.

6. "Joliet" Jeff Reed-As a huge Blues Brothers fan, how could I not love Joliet Jeff Reed? Add another light hitting backup catcher to Arcturus's list of favorite players. Reed was an abysmal hitter, but well regarded for his defensive abilities and game calling skills. Gee, that sounds familiar.

5. Brian McRae-B-Mac actually was a pretty solid player for the Cubs, until his numbers went down in '97. He was sent to the Mets before the '98 season and thus missed the Cubs' Wildcard playoff appearance. He never appeared in a post-season game. He was a rock steady center fielder and a pretty good lead off man.




4. Eric Young-EY was one of the many second sackers the Cubs employed after Ryno retired for the second time. EY had a great year in 2000 with the Cubs, hitting .297 and swiping 54 bags. He can be found on Baseball Tonight irritating the hell out of my fellow bartenders whenever he mentions Souvenir City.



3. Kevin Foster -Foster was with the Cubs from 1994-1998, finishing his career with a 4.86 ERA. Foster was one of many Cubs starters during this era whose main job seemed to be eating innings until the season would mercifully come to a close. He wasn't a great pitcher, but he also wasn't a horrible pitcher. I thought he was pretty good at the time, which just goes to show you how completely horrible the Cubs' rotation was at the time. Sadly, Kevin died of renal cancer on October 11 of last year.

2. Jose Hernandez-Man, did I love Jose Hernandez. He could play all the positions on the field and he hit for power. At the time I never understood why we kept trotting out guys like Kevin Orie, Todd Zeile, and Leo Gomez to play 3rd base when we had Jose. What I should have realized is that had Jose played everyday (which he kinda did anyway, just in different spots), he probably would have struck out 300 times in a season. Jose struck out like he was being paid by the K.

1. Rod "The Shooter" Beck-I know you're thinking "What the hell is Rod Beck doing on here, he was really good?" In fact, The Shooter was really only good for the Cubs in 1998. That was also the only full year he played for the team. He was traded in 1999 after struggling mightily. Beck's status with Cub fans was elevated when he was signed to a minor league deal and he lived in the Iowa Cubs' parking lot. His best years were spent with other teams, but his heart belonged to the Cubs, to the point where he was buried in his Cub uniform. Rod has a lot of Cub fans more for his personality than anything he ever did for the team. Not that I have a problem with that as Beck ranks just below Grace as my all time favorite Cub. Every time I see Aaron Heilman on the mound wearing The Shooter's number 47, I imagine Rod spinning in his grave. Is it crazy to retire a number for a player who was only around for a year and a half? Not when he's wearing it six feet under it's not.

So what have we learned? Basically, that I have a fetish for mediocre center fielders and light-hitting catchers, as well as for eccentric relievers. I'm sure most Cub fans have a similar list of their own. Not all favorite players can be superstars.

Cubs of Yore: Doug Dascenzo

Nickname: Lil' Doug

Played for The Cub: '88 through '92

Random Write-up: What can you really say about Lil' Doug? He was a fan favorite and definitely a favorite of Harry. The guy was usually utilized as a defensive replacement in late innings or to provide some speed on the bases. Doug played for mostly underachieving Cub teams with the exception of the miracle year of '89. I'll be realistic, I had to do a bit of research to get things to say about Doug. The one thing I remember distinctly was The Dibble Game. Lil' Doug dropped down a bunt and Dibbs was so pissed that he took the ball and soaked ol' Doug right in the back on purpose. The Nasty Boy received a suspension for that chicanery.

A funny story I uncovered on Doug came courtesy of The Bullpen Wiki: Once, a Chicago newspaper at the season's all-star break asked the players on both local teams to give themselves a grade based on how they played so far on the year. Dascenzo gave himself an A+. He may have been the only player on either team to do so. He said he was doing exactly what the team wanted him to do.

It's that kind of moxie that kept him in the bigs!

What the hell?: Some of you Cub diehards may remember when Doug would come in and pitch in blowout losses. I know what you're thinking...Jose Canseco and all the other non-pitchers who came in and got shelled. Don't assume it happened to Lil' Doug. Career pitching numbers: 4 appearances, 5 innings pitched, 3 hits given up, 2 walks, 2 K's, NO EARNED RUNS. Maybe Zimmer should have pitched him more?

Also of Note: Career (estimated) earnings of $955,000.00 -- not bad for a utility guy, eh? Back in November of aught six, Doug was named coach of the Ft. Wayne Wizards, replacing Randy Ready. And that meant lucky Quad Citians like myself could go down and watch an ex-Cub manage against our team, joining the likes of Ryne Sandberg, Jody Davis, and Mike Harkey - all who've been A-ball managers. And really, isn't it the little reasons like that that you go to watch an A-ball game?

Cubs of Yore: Kevin Foster 1969-2008

Nickname: N/A

Played for the Cubs: 1994-1998

Random Write-Up: Kevin was one of many workman like pitchers who made up the Cubs' rotation from 1994 through 1998, joining the likes of Frank Castillo, Jim Bullinger, Steve Trachsel, Mike Morgan, Jaime Navarro, Mark Clark, and Mike Morgan. Foster's best year was in 1995, when he started 28 games for the Cubs, winning 12 and losing 11, posting a 4.51 ERA and striking out 140 batters. Unfortunately for Kevin, he pitched for some pretty mediocre Cubs teams during this time period and wasn't much more than an average pitcher himself. The Cubs did win the Wildcard in his final season as a Cub, but Kevin only pitched in 3 games that year, amassing a 16.20 ERA before succumbing to arm injuries.

Kevin was a nice guy and he was always one of my favorites to watch, but truthfully, he was on the team in an era where the Cubs management just didn't give a fuck about winning. Ironically, this was the period where I started to really develop an interest in the Cubs. My parents were Cub fans and I'd watched sporadically on and off through the years. Kevin's tenure as a Cub spans my college years and that's when I really became a die hard fan. During those four years, Mark Grace was my favorite player, the mainstay of the team throughout most of my life to that point. Kevin Foster was my favorite pitcher on the team until 1998, when the Cubs added a certain mustachioed, mulleted closer, and a young fresh-faced flamethrower from Texas reignited Cub fans' playoff dreams. I always felt bad for Kevin that his arm went out on him the one year the Cubs were any good while he was in Chicago. Sadly, he was a mostly undistinguished pitcher, save for being one of my favorite players during one of the Cubs' most ineffectual eras.

Kevin pitched in the majors once more in 2001 for the Texas Rangers. He only appeared in 9 games. Kevin Foster died of renal cancer on October 11th, 2008. He was working as a truck driver and engaged to be married. Sadly, he was only 39 years old.

What the Hell?: After being granted free agency by the Cubs in October of 1998, Foster signed with the Reds in November, his contract was voided in December. He was signed by the Brewers in February of 2000, released by the Brewers in March of 2000, signed by the Red Sox in April of 2000, granted free agency by the Red Sox in October 2000 without ever seeing the majors, signed by the Rangers in December of 2000, and was released by the Rangers in August of 2001. Jesus.

Did You Know?: After his major league career ended, Foster pitched for the St. Paul Saints in the independent Northern League in 2003 and 2004. He pitched in the 2003 Northern League All-Star Game, finishing 2003 with an ERA of 2.92 in 19 starts and a record of 12 and 4. The 2004 season, his last of professional baseball, was not as kind. His complete stats, major, minor, and independent can be found here.

Cubs of Yore: Matt Murton

Nickname: Thunder

Played for The Cub: 2005-2008

Random Write-up: Obviously, we have a soft spot in our hearts for dear Thunder. Shit, need I direct you to the title of this very page? It was a sad, sad day 'round these parts when he no longer donned the blue and white, but you already knew that. Murton broke onto the scene in aught five, coming on late in the season, being very un-Dusty like - showing patience at the plate and going about his job like a professional. Skeptics cried foul, surely his robust .321 average was only a product of a small sample size. Never one to be fueled by his critics, Thunder nonetheless put up a beauty of a 2006 season, when he finally got some steady playing time and put up a .297/13/62.

Expectations were high, trophies were handed out, babies were kissed, backs were slapped...and then Lou came to town. Gone was his steady playing time. Gone were the chants of "THUNDER MATT" from the bleachers. All of that was forced to yield to people named Alfonso and Cliff. True to form, the stoic and ginger-headed gentleman never complained, even when he was sent back down to Des Moines. 2008 was more of the same, with Murton being relegated to pinch hitting duties and an occasional spot start. It was just the wrong time. In an era still smelling of pharmaceuticals and backne, there wasn't much room for line drive hitting outfielders. Murton was shipped to Oakland, and just like that, up and vanished like a fart in the wind.

What the hell?: Murton was actually a first round pick of the Red Sox in 2003 after playing college ball at Georgia Tech, coming to the Cubs along with Nomar Garciaparra in 2004. Who would have guessed that Murton was the one that would end up having the greater impact on the team? (Chip Wesley, that's who).

On August 3rd, 2006, you probably remember exactly where you were and what you were doing. Murton tied a Major League record by hitting 4 doubles in one game against the Arizona Diamondbacks in what would be forever known as "The Murton Game".

Was named a Freshman All American by Baseball America in 2001 for Georgia Tech.

10 Murton Urban Legends:

• Matt Murton caused the housing crisis
• The rug doesn't match the drapes.
• Had the hottest selling jersey on eBay in August of 2006.
• Had to shave Mike Remlinger's back as a rookie.
• Avid collector of the now defunct Yugo automobiles.
  
• Last statement as a Cub was "If you can only see one movie for the rest of your life, it should be Mickey Blue Eyes"
• Was nicknamed "Clown Pubes" at Georgia Tech.
• Boyhood idol was World B. Free
• Shouted "Skeet skeet!" after every line-drive hit.
  
• He reads Thundermatt.com daily.

Cubs of Yore: George Waddell

In a world where no other Cubs of Yore requests have ever been made, Rube Waddell is the most requested one, garnering at least three requests. Rube was one colorful character, to say the least. I first heard of Rube when stumbling across a Chip Wesley mercenary piece over at what was then The Sports Yenta. Though it's tough to tell the fact from fiction surrounding this honyack, it's one that will surely make you chuckle.

Nickname: Rube, Hayseed

Played for The Cub: 1901, and technically for The Chicago Orphans

Random Write-up: Rube originally made his debut in the big leagues in 1897 with the Louisville Colonels, appearing in 10 games as a pitcher in his first two seasons, before he and his teammate Honus Wagner were traded to Pittsburgh. His eccentric personality lead him to bounce around teams quite a bit, earning the nickname "Mike Morgan Before Mike Morgan Was Around". Even with his crazy persona, his services were definitely in need, as his lifetime career ERA of 2.16 boasts. His lone year in Chicago saw him go 14-14 with 26 of those being a complete game, striking out 168 with a 2.81 ERA. His short tenure in Chicago also showed that (for at least one year) he was no easy wind with the bat either. He hit .251 with 2 home runs, 14 RBI, 3 doubles and three triples in 98 at-bats.

It would be his move to Philadelphia where his numbers really began to take off. Just look at a few of these lines, and pay particular attention to his K's in relation to innings pitched:

Year	Team	G	GS	W	L	PCT	ERA	CG	SHO	SV	IP	H	ER	R	HR	BB	SO	WP	HBP
1902	Athletics	33	27	24	7	.774	2.05	26	3	0	276.1	224	63	90	7	64	210	11	10
1903	Athletics	39	38	21	16	.568	2.44	34	4	0	324	274	88	109	3	85	302	9	8
1904	Athletics	46	46	25	19	.568	1.62	39	8	0	383	307	69	109	5	91	349	8	15
1905	Athletics	46	34	27	10	.730	1.48	27	7	0	328.2	231	54	86	5	90	287	10	10
1906	Athletics	43	34	15	17	.469	2.21	22	8	0	272.2	221	67	89	1	92	196	10	10
1907	Athletics	44	33	19	13	.594	2.15	20	7	0	284.2	234	68	115	2	73	232	4	16

Stats courtesty of Baseball-Almanac.com

What the hell?: Sure, his baseball statistics alone look like video games numbers, and you can see why he was elected to The Hall of Fame in 1945. All of that aside, it was perhaps his zany personality and off-the-field antics that have really made his legend grow. Always known as being extremely immature, Rube struggled with the simplest of things like remembering to pay rent while in the minors, leaving the Chicago team to join a Wild West Show, going into the stands to fight someone that had taunted him, and missing practice after going on benders. If management tried to tighten the reigns on him, he'd simply quit the Major League team and sign on with a semi-pro traveling team, getting payed room and board. As tales of his success with said traveling teams made their way back to the bigs, Connie Mack persuaded him to return, even going so far as to hire the famous Pinkerton Agents to bring him back to Philly.

Even in the bigs, Waddell was still known to miss starts. What could possibly keep him away? Beer? Women? Well, how about deciding to go fishing. Or challenging the local street kids to games of marbles. And let's not leave out wrestling an alligator in a nearby lagoon in Florida during Spring Training. But those were all off-the-field antics. Surely he had to be all business when he was on the mound, right? Nope. On more than one occasion, Rube would call in all the players in the infield and outfield, striking out the side. To Rube's credit, however, he only did this in exhibition games. He frequently pitched games while drunk, which is astonishing considering his numbers.

Just some of Rube's hobbies: helping fight fires, drinking, getting married, tending bar in his baseball uniform, theatre acting, fighting, leaving mid-season, saving people's lives, and leading parades, rugby, professional football player.

Also of Note: Rube's 349 K's in 1904 still stands as the most strikeouts in one season for a left handed pitcher in the American League. Rube is also one of only 6 pitchers in baseball history to have back-to-back 300 strikeout seasons.

Further Sources of All Things Rube:
http://www.chinmusic.net/RubeWaddell.html
http://rumorsandrants.com/2007/04/sports-bloggers-reveal-their-favorite-baseball-players.html
http://rubewaddell.net/
http://www.baseball-reference.com/w/wadderu01.shtml

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"He (Rube Waddell) was the atom bomb of baseball long before the atom bomb was discovered. . ." - Connie Mack

"Sell him, release him, drop him off the Monongahela Bridge; do anything with him you like, so long as you get him off my ball team!" - Pittsburgh manager Fred Clarke demanding of owner Barney Dreyfuss

No player that ever lived, not even Babe Ruth, has so captured the affections of the fans of his day as did Waddell." - The Sporting News - November 4, 1926

FIVE STRENUOUS DAYS RUBE WADDELL SPENDS, THEN GOES TO BUTLER Throws Up His Job with "Stain of Guilt" Company, Butts in at a Fire, Hires Out as a Beer Slinger, and is Sued by Wife for Non-Support - local paper in Wheeling, WV

He would rip open his shirt and let four people stand on his chest, then lift himself into a kind of human bridge. This he once executed, according to the writer, "in a Fourth Avenue wet goods emporium (where) a quartet of the female species were the first aids to the big boob." - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

"He had the classic flaws of the mythological hero. He had an Achilles brain. He was a legitimate hero, standing in the flood waters trying to build a sand bag wall to save a small town in Kentucky, which ultimately led to his death at age 37. He was born on Friday the 13th and died on April Fool's Day. When it gets to the big screen, people will say, 'Aw, that's just Hollywood.'" - Screenwriter Dan O'Brien

Cubs of Yore: Kevin Orie

Nickname: N/A

Played for The Cub: 1997-98, 2002

Random Write-up: Another great white hope coming out of the farm system, Kevin Orie was to be the solid fixture at third base that the Cubs had lacked ever since the days of Ron Santo. Orie was the one that would make us forget the names of Luis Salazar, Leo Gomez, Todd Zeile, Dave Magadan, and (Brant and Chip's nemesis) Steve Buechele. The Cubs were so high on Orie that they drafted him in the first round at pick #29 (a full round ahead of Scott Rolen). Orie competently worked his way up through the minors and became the Opening Day starter at 3B against the Marlins, going 1 for 3. Orie had a very respectable rookie campaign, batting .275 with 8 homers and 44 RBI and boasting the second best fielding percentage among NL third basemen, good enough to finish 11th in the Rookie of the Year voting, behind...Scott Rolen. Unfortunately for Orie, and moreso us Cub fans, Orie's rookie year proved to be his best, ultimately making his Cub tenure more Gary Scott than Ron Santo or shit, even Ron Cey for that matter.

What the hell?: During the legendary Kerry Wood 20 strikeout game against Houston, the lone hit surrendered by Kerry came via a ground ball that many people (re: me) felt Orie should have taken care of. If you watch the highlights of that game, someone in the outfield even holds up a sign that says "E-5". Aside from this famous gaffe, his lasting Cub legacy is "The Guy That Brought Us Felix Heredia in a Trade". Not exactly what you want to be known for, but known nonetheless.

Also of Note: Tried one last comeback in 2006 with the Houston Astros. Was allegedly the last man cut from the Opening Day roster. Orie reported to AAA ball, and retired after two games. His last notable impact on the Cubs happened in 2006, and has been mentioned 'round these parts before.

A few years back in a fantasy draft, Brant Brown asked Chip Wesley to finish out the last couple rounds for him. Chip obliged and picked Kevin Orie with Brant's last pick. Their relationship has been strained ever since.

Cubs of Yore: Roosevelt Brown

Nickname: Rosie

Played for The Cub: 1999-2002

Random Write-Up: Golly, never did someone look the part more than Rosie Brown. Originally drafted in the 20th Round by the Atlanta Braves in 1993, Rosie never really did much of anything for some really bad Cub teams. Rosie showed a lot of promise coming up in the minors. His numbers were quite impressive, even boasting a 26 game hitting streak in 1999 in AAA Iowa. When it came to the bigtime, though, Rosie couldn't cut it. A .251 career hitter in 4 seasons for The Cub may sound quasi-respectful, but considering he hit just .211 with 3 homers and 50 strikeouts in his last season, the only one in which he received substantial playing time (111 games, 204 AB), it's not hard to see why he couldn't stick around.

What the hell?: After things didn't work out too well for Rosie at the Major League level, he went and tried his trade in the Far East. Turns out Rosie actually did quite well, playing along side some former and future MLB'ers that went by the names of Fukudome, Jojima, Iguchi, Tuffy Rhodes (51 HRs!!), Irabu, and Matsui. Rosie gave it one last hurrah in 2005, playing a season for the White Sox AAA affiliate, Charlotte Knights.

Did You Know?: Sometimes the apple falls far from the tree. Roosevelt is actually a cousin of Ellis Burks, former Red Stocking and Rockie great. Apparently, Rosie didn't get the same DNA of Ellis. And for that matter, he didn't get the same athletic prowess of his namesake (but no relation), Roosevelt Brown of the New York football Giants fame. Ultimately (and sadly), Rosie was just another Brooks Kieschnick David Kelton Mike Harkey Hee Sop Choi Cub who put up great numbers in the minors, but fizzled out in The Big Show. Still, I'll be damned if he didn't look like a big leaguer

Cubs of Yore: Lee Elia

In honor of the 25th anniversary of the infamous Lee Elia Rant, the old skipper is on tap for today. For you youngsters out there who aren't familiar with Lee Elia, he was brought in by Cub GM, Dallas Green to manage the team, and built the foundation for the magical '84 Cub team.

Nickname: Lee Fuckin' Elia

Played for The Cub: 1968

Managed for The Cub: 1982-1983

Random Write-Up: Let's get it out there right now. He's most well known for The Rant (NSFW). This baby is worthy of being right along side Chicago lore like Mrs. O'Leary's cow and Jordan's Poke Shack. For those of you who don't know about it, it was in '83, when the Cubs were pretty bad. So bad that the fans didn't even come out. There were only about 9,000 attending a day game, and after losing to drop to 5-14 on the season, the few fans that bothered to show booed their hearts out. Lee Elia gets socio-political and tells you what he thinks about day baseball and Cub fans. Needless to say, dude went OFF. This was before it was acceptable and apropos to use cassette recorders (apparently you still had to write it down on a little notebook while smoking non-filtered cigarettes) but someone had one rolling, unbeknown to ol' Lee. This one is priceless. If you want to read the full text of The Rant, then click HERE.

Lee has turned the rant's fame into a positive thing. This week he is in Chicago raising money for Chicago Baseball Cancer Charities by selling autographed balls that say "Print it!" on them, and feature an audio chip in the display case that will play his new rant:

“I’ll tell you one thing, it’s time the Cubs get hotter than hell this season and stuff it up the rest of the baseball world. The 40,000 fans who fill the ballpark everyday and work hard for a living are no nickel dimers! They deserve a championship. They’re the real Chicago Cub fans. And PRINT IT!”

What the hell?: Lee took a lot of shit, but him and Dallas Green really built the Cubs team that went on to peak in 1984. Damn Leon Durham. Recently, he has been a bench coach for quite a few seasons, mostly under Lou Piniella. Sweet Lou even stated that he wanted to have Lee Elia on the bench for the Cubs, but the Tribune gave Lee the ol', "Nah, brah." God forbid we should have too many people to make Aramis play harder. Elia is currently an adviser for the Seattle Mariners.

Did You Know?: Lee hit .176 in 15 games for the Cubs in 1968. I think I counted 38 variations of 'fuck' in the rant, not to mention the multitude of "shit" and "cock" that was strewn about.

Cubs of Yore: Dwight Smith

Nickname: D-Baby

Played for The Cub: 1989-1993

Random Write-up: It's a sad, sad tale when you're known to most Cub fans for playing second fiddle to Jerome Walton, but that's reality. Though Dwight proved to have the (slightly) more productive big league career between the two, his best season was his first, and that was when he finished second on the Rookie of the Year ballot, behind Saint Jerome. In his rookie year, The Cubs took the top spot in the NL East, with Smith hitting an impressive .324 in the two-slot behind, again, Jerome Walton, primarily playing left field, splitting time with Mitch Webster and Lloyd McClendon. Not an easy thing to do, splitting time with Cub Legends such as those. Dwight's high energy game and constant smiles were a welcomed sight in 1989, and there is no doubt that Dwight was pivotal to the team's success.

What the hell?: As some of you diehard and longtime TMS readers know, Dwight has been seen at some Cub Conventions, and even held conversation with our own Chaim Witz and the surly and elusive Tommy Buzanis. With a penchant for wearing loud and outlandish suits that would make even Craig Sager cringe, Dwight is legendary in the Saloon for his public drinking and the trademark phrase of "Aww shit, you know..." when answering any question. It's true.

Also of Note: Not to be confused with the current Minnesota Vikings defensive back, the real Dwight was a second phase 3rd round pick by the Cubs in 1984, and toiled in the minors for five seasons before getting his shot with the big squad. Always a talented singer, Dwight sang the national anthem many times before games, including a game that Your's Truly was blessed to attend. D-Baby struggled to get consistent playing time after leaving the Cubs, but he did win a World Series ring with the Atlanta Braves in 1995, even getting a key pinch hit single in Game 1, and drawing a walk later in the series. Longtime Cub equipment manager, Yosh Kowano said that Dwight was one of his favorite players during his 65 year tenure with the club.

Aww shit, Did You Know? Not only did Dwight Smith have one of the finest manicured mustaches in Cub history, but he also had his own Dwight Smith Game. Much like The Sandberg Game against the Cardinals, Dwight Smith had his own heyday in 1989, when the Cubs rallied from a 9-0 deficit to beat the Astros 10-9. Dwight was a late inning replacement, and ended up with two hits, three RBI, including the game winner. All hail Dwight!

Cubs of Yore: Domingo Ramos

Hey-o, hey-o, hey-o, hey-ooooo! Don't worry, we haven't left you. It's me, The Hundley, here, one of the few bartenders not currently attending the wedding of fellow barkeep, Brant Brown. As the self-appointed "leader" of the remaining B-Team, I've (temporarily) put Rygar on pause, set down the Mt. Dew and the Cheetos, and put on my tending apron to keep ya'll enlightened. Recently, our beloved Cubs have inexplicably signed ex-White Sox, Shingo Takatsu to a minor league deal. The only fathomable reason is for him to rejoin his ex-teammate, Neal Cotts, in the minors , where they can keep each other company and talk about the 'Good Old Days' of when they (their teammates) won a World Series. I can't believe Shingo Time didn't make the list of the top free agents this offseason. That Hendry sure can pick the sleepers!

In the meantime, take a trip down memory lane...


Nickname: Sunday Branch, DoRam

Played for The Cub: 1989-90

Random Write-up: It's funny, but I always remember him being a lot heavier than the baseball card shows him. I have no idea why I always think of him in a Cub uniform, it was probably because my dad pronounced his name with an extremely exaggerated Mexican accent, which would cause my brother and I to have pop shoot through our noses. And yes, this was in the days that pop came in a glass bottle, sonny. Little did I know that life would never be better...but I digress. Domingo Ramos was certainly not known for his power. In 12 big league seasons, he hit a mere 8 dongs and had a career slugging percentage of .297. Needless to say, he made his living as a "defensive replacement". Had a very respectable .955 fielding percentage as a lifetime infielder. He played most of his career in Seattle, which would explain his career high 3 steals in 1983, most likely attributed to the caffeine-heavy house blends at Starbucks. With his gaudy career numbers, he inexplicably fleeced the Cub for $310,000 in 1990.

What the hell?: He was once involved with Lloyd McClendon and Vance Law in a triple play against the Expos.

Rangers scouting director Joe Klein almost cried the night he heard Righetti had been swapped as part of a nine-player trade. What made the deal worse was that the Rangers were supposed to get back one of the jewels of the Yankees' farm system, second baseman Damaso Garcia. Corbett had been instructed to demand Garcia be included in the deal but got confused and asked for Domingo Ramos instead. "Brad!" he was told after the trade. "You were supposed to get Garcia." Legend has it that Corbett hung his head and apologized, saying: "Hell's bells. All those Latin names sound alike." (source) cannot verify

Also of Note: Career (estimated) earnings of $605,000. Was born in The Dominican Republic. Hit below the Medoza Line five times during his career. You can view all of Domingo's jerseys at Dressed to the Nines. I made up the nickname "Sunday Branch" because it's a literal translation from Spanish to English. Actually "DoRam" is made up as well. Let's be honest, he wasn't good enough to have a nickname.

Cubs of Yore: Ty Griffin

Nickname: Georgia Peach of Shit

Played for The Cub: never

Random Write-up: There are a few names in Cub memories that make you wince. Okay, there are many of them. The Amateur Baseball Draft and The Cubs go together about as well Tina and Ike Turner. Many first round picks leave you scratching your head: Mike Harkey, Derek May, Brooks Kieschnick, etc. However underachieving they may have been, at least they had a Major League career. Ty Griffin was never afforded one. The 9th overall selection in the 1988 draft never made it past AA ball. Well then why are you mentioning him? Good question, take a look at the card. For some reason, Topps decided to release this (was Ed Lynch somehow involved?), and we were tortured with this national exposure. 10 year olds everywhere were talking in the schoolyard about the prized card. "I'm Ty Griffin!" was shouted during backyard games of 500. Such a frenzy even existed nationally, where people were actually wondering if we would move Sandberg back to third base once Ty broke in with the big league club! Little did we know that in a short period of time, we would be treated to a text book case of Cubbie Blue Balls.

What the hell?: Ty was one of the big factors in Team USA's Gold Medal at the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, South Korea. This came on the heels of his heroic performance in the 1987 Pan Am Games where he hit a 2-out game winning home run in the bottom of the 9th inning, handing Cuba its first international loss since 1967. His career numbers for the National Team were outstanding, hitting .416 with 16 homers and 52 RBI, and adding 21 steals. His plus-.400 average was good enough to outdo his teammates (and future Major Leaguers) Tino Martinez, Scott Servais, and Mickey Morandini. During his collegiate career at Georgia Tech, he was just as impressive, earning numerous All-American honors and splitting The Baseball America Summer Baseball Player of the Year Award with Robin Ventura.

In his professional career, things started out strong. He debuted in A ball with The Peoria Chiefs, where he put up solid numbers of .287 with 10 home runs, 64 RBI (Midwest League Leader), 16 steals, 45 runs, 6 triples, 15 doubles, and 49 walks. This impressive start got him promoted to AA Charlotte Knights, where his numbers fell. Still, Baseball America ranked him as the #2 prospect in all of baseball. It would be the high point for Ty Griffin's baseball career. In his second season he posted numbers of .217 and .209 between Winston-Salem and Charlotte. His fielding percentage was a Little League-like .833 and he was moved to the outfield. The following season showed some progress, where he managed a .242 average, but teams no longer saw anything that got them excited. What was that about moving Sandberg to third? By 1992 he was out of baseball.

Also of Note: Elected to the Georgia Tech Hall of Fame in 1994. Holds ACC record for career steals with 127. Made an ill-fated comeback in the St. Louis Cardinals organization, where he hit .274 in AA during the 1995 season. His last season, 1996, was spent in the Independent League, and we all collectively built a funeral pyre with Griffin's baseball cards and danced around like mad Injuns. He was an industrial engineer major at Tech, so hopefully he used that to fall back on.

Cubs of Yore: Steve Trout

Nickname: Rainbow, Trouser

Played for The Cub: '83 - '87

Random Write-up: The original Cub "Crafty Lefty", Steve Trout pitched and was often (always) photographed wearing a pair of tinted sunglasses and a pretty dope man-perm. Don't believe me? Then check out this, this, and this. Oh my Lord!

Steve was the son of Dizzy Trout, who was a former major leaguer and former 27 game winner for the Detroit Tigers. Steve was selected as the 8th overall pick in the 1976 draft by the White Sox. Steve was a pivotal cog in the Cubs rotation during the magical 1984 season, going 13-7 with a 3.44 ERA, and pitching 8-1/3 innings in a game 2 victory in the NLCS over the Padres. Before Ted Lilly this year, Steve was the last Cub lefty to start a post season game.

Perhaps a mediocre pitcher at best, he had some decent seasons, and posted career numbers of 88 winds wins and 92 losses, with a career ERA of 4.18, amassing 656 strikeouts in just over 1,500 innings of work.

What the hell?: Steve is the last Cub to throw back-to-back complete game shutouts, which he did in 1987, blanking the Padres and the Dodgers. Clearly he owned the state of California. Reggie Jackson once claimed that Steve was the toughest left hander that he ever faced.

Was very popular with all of his teammates (Sox, Cubs, Yankees, Mariners), and was known as an eccentric, fun-loving and zany guy. Allegedly challenged many of his Cub teammates to burrito eating competitions. Luckily this was before Hector Villanueva came along.

Also of Note: Has dabbled as a pitching coach in the minor leagues in the past, does charitable fundraisers, wrote a book about him and his father, and now focuses on his own business ventures over at SteveTrout.com. Be sure to check that out and sign up for his pitching clinic, where you can stay at his own home!! Oooooo-doggy!!!

Cubs of Yore: Jody Davis

Nickname: Catcher Extraordinaire

Played for The Cub: '81 to '87

Random Write-up: If you're a lifelong Cub fan and over the age of 25, you probably remember Harry Caray singing "Jodeeeee, Jooooo-dee Davis, hit one in the upper tierrrrr, Jodeeeee, Joooo-dee Davis, catcher extraordinaire!" Okay, maybe Harry was a better announcer than a lyricist, but his passion for the likeable Cub catcher matched that of the Cub faithful in Wrigley Field. Throughout the 1984 season and then for the rest of his Cub career, it was common to hear the "Jo-dy! Jo-dy!" chant ringing out when #7 stepped to the plate. Jody was one of the better Cub catchers of the last 30 years, being a two-time All Star ('84, '86) and a Gold Glove winner ('86). Jody was well-liked by fans because of his workmanlike attitude, and it showed in his abilities behind the plate. After being atrocious behind the plate early in his career, he parlayed his hard work into being a very serviceable catcher behind the plate. Jody was a pivotal part of the '84 Pennant winning team, hitting .256 with 19 homers and 94 RBI. In the post season, Jody really turned it on, hitting .389 with 2 homers and 6 RBI against the San Diego Padres. Had seasons of 12, 24, 19, 17, 21, 19 throughout his Cub career, catching nearly 1,000 games. A heck of a guy and a heck of a Cub.

What the hell?: In playing a difficult and rigorous position such as a catcher, Davis caught at least 125 games per year during his Cub tenure as starting catcher. Amazing as that is, it is more amazing that he never took a trip to the DL. Not once. In his Gold Glove season ('86), Jody gunned down 78 guys attempting to steal, good for a 48% success rate. As for the Harry song about him, it was sung to the tune of the Davy Crockett Theme Song (for you youngsters). Was also a redhead.

Also of Note: Career (estimated) earnings of $5.5 million. Was traded to the Atlanta Braves to make way for Damon Berryhill, allowing Jody to return home to his native Georgia. Has managed in the Cub organization for the Peoria Chiefs (where he was the coach of the All-Star team) and Daytona Cubs. Has been rumored to be a possible successor to Lou Piniella.

Cubs of Yore: Les Lancaster

Nickname: Lester Lacnaster (drunken Harry slur)

Played for The Cub: '87 to '91

Random Write-up: Les Lancaster was like most Cub players in that he was certainly on some bad, bad teams. But unlike others, he actually did get to play on a good team, the 1989 Cub. Les was pretty magical that year, going 4-2 with a 1.36 ERA in 42 appearances. He also won Game 2 of the NLCS. Les mostly starred in a middle relief role, although if called upon, he could nail down a save or toe the rubber for a spot start. The guy really wasn't all that spectacular for the most part, but he did Yeoman's work. In the parlance of our time, he was a Grinder. Les proudly donned a mullet, he looked like a white Native American (in fact I seem to remember that he MAY have been part Native American), and Harry loved him. I remember watching The Cub on TV, and while Les would be warming up Harry would note that his name sounded like a movie star - presumably after Burt Lancaster (real novel, Harry).

What the hell?: Head back to June 13, 1990 for the 1st game of a double header against The Met. The Cubs had lost 19-8 the day before, taxing the bullpen. The Cubs even used OF Lil Doug Dascenzo to pitch in the 9th to save arms for the next day's doubleheader. Lancaster replaced starter Jeff Pico with 2 outs and a man on first in the 6th, up 8-5. Lancaster struck out Mark Carreon to retire the side, but immediately ran into trouble in the 7th, allowing 4 singles to the first 5 batters. The next two batters were lefties, so with the bases loaded, 1 out, and an 8-6 lead, lefty Paul Assenmacher came in to pitch, with Lancaster moving to LF. Assenmacher was no better, giving up the lead with 2 singles and a walk, and was soon replaced by Lancaster without retiring a batter. Lancaster would pitch until he was replaced in the 9th, and allowed a remarkable 9 runs in relief. - (reference)

Also of Note: Career (estimated) earnings of $1.5 million-- again, not bad for a middle reliever, eh? Holds club record for hurling 30-2/3 innings of scoreless ball. Was named the Golden Baseball League Manager of the Year in 2006 for the Reno Silver Sox.

Cubs of Yore: Hector Villanueva

Nickname: N/A -- although middle name is Balasquide

Played for The Cub: '90 - '92

Random Write-up: The portly Puerto Rican was one of the many fan-favorite players to back stop for The Cub. He was kind of a clone of Mike "Spanky" LaValliere from the Bucs, but Hector was ours. I think many people loved him because he looked like he came off the street and started playing. He had a beer gut, a Latin-influenced and well-groomed Porn 'Stache, and from what I can remember he was about 5'5" and 230. Sadly, it wasn't his play on the field that cause many people to remember him. Although, to be fair, he hit .276 and had 13 homers in limited action during the '91 campaign. No, sadly for him, it was his NAME that was so endearing - especially when Harry (this was the tail-end of his on-air drinking days) tried to say Villanueva. The casual fan watching it on WGN might have thought Harry was throwing up when he tried to slur those 5 syllables. At the end of the '92 season, he was tired of playing Chump to Joe Girardi and Rick Wilkins, so Hector sold his soul to Beelzebub, and signed with the Gaybirds of St. Lewis. He only played sparingly, and blamed St. Lewis for not being capable of handling his "Machismo Gordito".

What the hell?: Actually, Hector went on to a productive semi-Pro and foreign career. During the Puerto Rican Winter League season of 91-92, he won the Triple Crown. In 1993, he was the MVP of the Carribean Series and in 1994, he led the Mexican League in Slugging %, home runs, and RBI. iUf! iQue Bueno!

Also of Note: Career (estimated) MLB earnings of $545,000, went to college at UAB, owned Tom Pagnozzi on the basepaths: gunned him down 3 times in 2 days --> Here (5 guns in 1 game!!) and Here - stupid Cardinals, you don't run on HV!!!

Cubs of Yore: Shawon Dunston

Nickname: Shuh Juan

Played for The Cub: 1985-1995, 1997

Random Write-up: Enough of a phenom out of Brooklyn, NY, The Cub selected Shawon with the first overall pick of the 1982 draft and paid him $100,000 after hitting .790 in his senior year of high school. Many a Cub fan choose to remember Shawon in different ways. He was someone who seemed to eternally swing at a two strike slider in the dirt, he (along with his double play partner, Ryne Sandberg) always rocked the flip shades, he was one of the few ballplayers that ALWAYS hustled out ground balls, and he was a guy who had an erratic, rocket arm. When he threw over to Grace, it seemed as if a man with vertigo was shooting a cannon. How Grace won Gold Gloves in that era is unbelievable and most likely divine. Unquestionably an all-time Cub favorite with the fans, even if he was selected before Dwight Gooden.

What the Hell?: With his reputation of being such a "gunslinger", Shawon actually led NL shortstops in homers, fielding chances, put outs, and of course, errors. He stole 58 bases for the Quad City Cubs in 1983 while also committing an astounding 47 errors! It's hard to imagine, but Shawon did play for other teams, 5 to be exact. He also played for the Cardinals, Pirates, Indians, Mets, and the Giants, where he is probably best remembered outside of the Cubs when he hit a 2-run homer in the World Series.

Also of Note: What would a Dunston write-up be without mention of the famed Shawon-o-meter from the '89 season? It's also important to note that a gradeschool friend of mine, Jason Jarchow, kept a replica Shawon-o-Meter in his front yard as well as a "Cubs Magic Number" sign, both of which he updated daily. Shawon and the Cubs commanded such respect in my eastern Iowa town that year that the local thugs left the signs untouched and acted as a small time Hell's Angels by protecting it from others as well. Shawon was also a two-time all star for the Cub, in 1988 and 1990. Amassed career estimated earnings of nearly $25 million. Bling! Allegedly scrapped with former Cub of Yore, Marvell Wynne, although the search for documentation on that has been futile.

"I owe him (Shawon Dunston) a lot. Nobody would have known how good I was at digging balls out of the dirt if it wasn't for him and all those bad throws." - Cubs first baseman, Mark Grace