TMS Fantasy Baseball Player Rankings 2010

Alright, here is the full set of rankings for all positions. As with previous years, these rankings are for standard 5x5 scoring leagues.

Updated: 2/22/2010

CATCHER

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Joe Mauer, MIN	16.	John Baker, FLA
2.	Brian McCann, ATL	17.	Carlos Ruiz, PHI
3.	Victor Martinez, CLE	18.	Ramon Hernandez, CIN
4.	Matt Wieters, BAL	19.	Kelly Shoppach, TB
5.	Miguel Montero, ARI	20.	Miguel Olivo, COL
6.	Jorge Posada, NYY	21.	Rod Barajas, FA
7.	Russell Martin, LAD	22.	Buster Posey, SF
8.	Mike Napoli, ANA	23.	Jarrod Saltalamacchia, TEX
9.	Kurt Suzuki, OAK	24.	Jeff Clement, PIT
10.	Geovany Soto, CHC	25.	Ivan Rodriguez, WAS
11.	Bengie Molina, SF	26.	Dioner Navarro, TB
12.	Ryan Doumit, PIT	27.	Jesus Flores, WAS
13.	Yadier Molina, STL	28.	John Buck, TOR
14.	A.J. Pierzynski, CHW	29.	Gerald Laird, DET
15.	Chris Iannetta, COL	30.	Carlos Santana, CLE

On the edge of the radar: Nick Hundley SD, J.R. Towles HOU, Alex Avila DET, Taylor Teagarden TEX, Chris Snyder ARI, Gregg Zaun MIL, Yorvit Torrealba SD


FIRST BASE

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Albert Pujols, STL	16.	Adam Dunn, WAS
2.	Prince Fielder, MIL	17.	Carlos Pena, TB
3.	Miguel Cabrera, DET	18.	Billy Butler, KC
4.	Mark Teixeira, NYY	19.	Michael Cuddyer, MIN
5.	Ryan Howard, PHI	20.	Jose Lopez, SEA
6.	Adrian Gonzalez, SD	21.	James Loney, LAD
7.	Mark Reynolds, ARI	22.	Jorge Cantu, FLA
8.	Justin Morneau, MIN	23.	Chris Davis, TEX
9.	Kevin Youkilis, BOS	24.	Todd Helton, COL
10.	Joey Votto, CIN	25.	Adam LaRoche, ARI
11.	Pablo Sandoval, SF	26.	Paul Konerko, CHW
12.	Kendry Morales, ANA	27.	Garrett Jones, PIT
13.	Victor Martinez, CLE	28.	Nick Swisher, NYY
14.	Lance Berkman, HOU	29.	Nick Johnson, NYY
15.	Derrek Lee, CHC	30.	Martin Prado, ATL

On the edge of the radar: Aubrey Huff SF, Mark DeRosa SF, Russell Branyan CLE


SECOND BASE

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Chase Utley, PHI	16.	Martin Prado, ATL
2.	Ian Kinsler, TEX	17.	Clint Barmes, COL
3.	Dustin Pedroia, BOS	18.	Kelly Johnson, ARI
4.	Brian Roberts, BAL	19.	Orlando Hudson, MIN
5.	Robinson Cano, NYY	20.	Casey McGehee, MIL
6.	Aaron Hill, TOR	21.	Felipe Lopez, FA
7.	Brandon Phillips, CIN	22.	Mark Ellis, OAK
8.	Ben Zobrist, TB	23.	Akinori Iwamura, PIT
9.	Dan Uggla, FLA	24.	Scott Sizemore, DET
10.	Jose Lopez, SEA	25.	Luis Castillo, NYM
11.	Howie Kendrick, ANA	26.	Kazuo Matsui, HOU
12.	Asdrubal Cabrera, CLE	27.	Freddy Sanchez, SF
13.	Ian Stewart, COL	28.	Maicer Izturis, ANA
14.	Rickie Weeks, MIL	29.	Alberto Callaspo, KC
15.	Placido Polanco, PHI	30.	Skip Schumaker, STL

On the edge of the radar: Adam Kennedy OAK, Chris Getz CHW, Luis Valbuena CLE, Ronnie Belliard LAD, Eric Young COL


THIRD BASE

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Alex Rodriguez, NYY	16.	Chris Davis, TEX
2.	Evan Longoria, TB	17.	Mark DeRosa, SF
3.	David Wright, NYM	18.	Alex Gordon, KC
4.	Mark Reynolds, ARI	19.	Jhonny Peralta, CLE
5.	Ryan Zimmerman, WAS	20.	Casey Blake, LAD
6.	Kevin Youkilis, BOS	21.	Martin Prado, ATL
7.	Pablo Sandoval, SF	22.	Kevin Kouzmanoff, OAK
8.	Aramis Ramirez, CHC	23.	Chase Headley, SD
9.	Chone Figgins, SEA	24.	Casey McGehee, MIL
10.	Michael Young, TEX	25.	Edwin Encarnacion, TOR
11.	Gordon Beckham, CHW	26.	Mark Teahen, CHW
12.	Chipper Jones, ATL	27.	Scott Rolen, CIN
13.	Jorge Cantu, FLA	28.	Garrett Atkins, BAL
14.	Adrian Beltre, BOS	29.	Mike Lowell, BOS
15.	Ian Stewart, COL	30.	Brandon Wood, ANA

On the edge of the radar: Brandon Inge DET, Andy LaRoche PIT, Brett Wallace TOR, David Freese STL, Troy Glaus ATL, Mat Gamel MIL


SHORTSTOP

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Hanley Ramirez, FLA	16.	Jhonny Peralta, CLE
2.	Troy Tulowitzki, COL	17.	Marco Scutaro, BOS
3.	Jose Reyes, NYM	18.	Alcides Escobar, MIL
4.	Jimmy Rollins, PHI	19.	Everth Cabrera, SD
5.	Derek Jeter, NYY	20.	Erick Aybar, ANA
6.	Jason Bartlett, TB	21.	J.J. Hardy, MIN
7.	Alexei Ramirez, CHW	22.	Maicer Izturis, ANA
8.	Asdrubal Cabrera, CLE	23.	Cristian Guzman, WAS
9.	Yunel Escobar, ATL	24.	Ian Desmond, WAS
10.	Elvis Andrus, TEX	25.	Edgar Renteria, SF
11.	Stephen Drew, ARI	26.	Luis Valbuena, CLE
12.	Miguel Tejada, BAL	27.	Cliff Pennington, OAK
13.	Rafael Furcal, LAD	28.	Brendan Ryan, STL
14.	Ryan Theriot, CHC	29.	Juan Uribe, SF
15.	Orlando Cabrera, CIN	30.	Jack Wilson, SEA

On the edge of the radar: Mike Aviles KC, Emilio Bonifacio FLA, Yuniesky Betancourt KC, Willie Bloomquist KC, Julio Lugo STL, Alex Gonzalez TOR


OUTFIELD

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Ryan Braun, MIL	31.	Raul Ibanez, PHI
2.	Matt Kemp, LAD	32.	Alex Rios, CHW
3.	Carl Crawford, TB	33.	Alfonso Soriano, CHC
4.	Matt Holliday, STL	34.	Denard Span, MIN
5.	Jacoby Ellsbury, BOS	35.	Michael Bourn, HOU
6.	Justin Upton, ARI	36.	Carlos Beltran, NYM
7.	Grady Sizemore, CLE	37.	Jay Bruce, CIN
8.	Jayson Werth, PHI	38.	Nyjer Morgan, WAS
9.	Ichiro Suzuki, SEA	39.	Carlos Gonzalez, COL
10.	Curtis Granderson, NYY	40.	Jason Kubel, MIN
11.	Jason Bay, NYM	41.	Johnny Damon, DET
12.	Adam Lind, TOR	42.	Brad Hawpe, COL
13.	Nick Markakis, BAL	43.	Michael Cuddyer, MIN
14.	Andre Ethier, LAD	44.	Julio Borbon, TEX
15.	B.J. Upton, TB	45.	Ryan Ludwick, STL
16.	Carlos Lee, HOU	46.	Chris Coghlan, FLA
17.	Manny Ramirez, LAD	47.	Vladimir Guerrero, TEX
18.	Bobby Abreu, ANA	48.	Corey Hart, MIL
19.	Nelson Cruz, TEX	49.	Rajai Davis, OAK
20.	Josh Hamilton, TEX	50.	Vernon Wells, TOR
21.	Shane Victorino, PHI	51.	Franklin Gutierrez, SEA
22.	Shin-Soo Choo, CLE	52.	Nolan Reimold, BAL
23.	Ben Zobrist, TB	53.	Juan Pierre, CHW
24.	Torii Hunter, ANA	54.	Dexter Fowler, COL
25.	Hunter Pence, HOU	55.	Juan Rivera, ANA
26.	Adam Jones, BAL	56.	Cody Ross, FLA
27.	Adam Dunn, WAS	57.	Mark DeRosa, SF
28.	Andrew McCutchen, PIT	58.	Garrett Jones, PIT
29.	Carlos Quentin, CHW	59.	Drew Stubbs, CIN
30.	Nate McLouth, ATL	60.	Jermaine Dye, FA

On the edge of the radar: Nick Swisher NYY, J.D. Drew BOS, Brett Gardner NYY, Lastings Milledge PIT, Delmon Young MIN, Kyle Blanks SD, Magglio Ordonez DET, Colby Rasmus STL, Chris Young ARI, Travis Snider TOR, David DeJesus KC, Cameron Maybin FLA, Josh Willingham WAS


STARTING PITCHER

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Tim Lincecum, SF	41.	Carlos Zambrano, CHC
2.	Roy Halladay, PHI	42.	Scott Kazmir, ANA
3.	Zack Greinke, KC	43.	Ted Lilly, CHC
4.	Felix Hernandez, SEA	44.	Edwin Jackson, ARI
5.	CC Sabathia, NYY	45.	Clay Buchholz, BOS
6.	Dan Haren, ARI	46.	David Price, TB
7.	Justin Verlander, DET	47.	Tim Hudson, ATL
8.	Adam Wainwright, STL	48.	Mark Buehrle, CHW
9.	Johan Santana, NYM	49.	Randy Wolf, MIL
10.	Jon Lester, BOS	50.	Jorge De La Rosa, COL
11.	Chris Carpenter, STL	51.	Kevin Slowey, MIN
12.	Cliff Lee, SEA	52.	Daisuke Matsuzaka, BOS
13.	Josh Johnson, FLA	53.	Rick Porcello, DET
14.	Josh Beckett, BOS	54.	Aaron Harang, CIN
15.	Javier Vazquez, NYY	55.	Hiroki Kuroda, LAD
16.	Cole Hamels, PHI	56.	Johnny Cueto, CIN
17.	Yovani Gallardo, MIL	57.	Ben Sheets, OAK
18.	Matt Cain, SF	58.	Jeff Niemann, TB
19.	Tommy Hanson, ATL	59.	Jonathan Sanchez, SF
20.	Ubaldo Jimenez, COL	60.	Derek Lowe, ATL
21.	Wandy Rodriguez, HOU	61.	Joe Blanton, PHI
22.	Jake Peavy, CHW	62.	Wade Davis, TB
23.	Clayton Kershaw, LAD	63.	J.A. Happ, PHI
24.	Ricky Nolasco, FLA	64.	Joba Chamberlain, NYY
25.	Chad Billingsley, LAD	65.	Ervin Santana, ANA
26.	John Lackey, BOS	66.	Joel Pineiro, ANA
27.	Jered Weaver, ANA	67.	Andy Pettitte, NYY
28.	Matt Garza, TB	68.	Bronson Arroyo, CIN
29.	Jair Jurrjens, ATL	69.	Francisco Liriano, MIN
30.	James Shields, TB	70.	Scott Feldman, TEX
31.	Scott Baker, MIN	71.	Chris Young, SD
32.	Brandon Webb, ARI	72.	Joe Saunders, ANA
33.	A.J. Burnett, NYY	73.	John Maine, NYM
34.	Roy Oswalt, HOU	74.	Erik Bedard, SEA
35.	Ryan Dempster, CHC	75.	Randy Wells, CHC
36.	John Danks, CHW	76.	Stephen Strasburg, WAS
37.	Brett Anderson, OAK	77.	Phil Hughes, NYY
38.	Max Scherzer, DET	78.	Mat Latos, SD
39.	Gavin Floyd, CHW	79.	Gil Meche, KC
40.	Rich Harden, TEX	80.	Brian Matusz, BAL

On the edge of the radar: Brett Myers HOU, Barry Zito SF, Kevin Correia SD, Colby Lewis TEX, Ricky Romero TOR, Homer Bailey CIN, Justin Masterson CLE, Chris Tillman BAL, Gio Gonzalez OAK, Trevor Cahill OAK, Neftali Feliz TEX, Jason Marquis WAS, Jon Garland SD, Brad Penny STL, Derek Holland TEX, Kevin Millwood BAL, Paul Maholm PIT, Jeremy Bonderman DET, Pedro Martinez FA, Aaron Cook COL, Nick Blackburn MIN, Ryan Rowland-Smith SEA, Brad Bergesen BAL, John Lannan WAS, Zach Duke PIT, Madison Bumgarner SF, Brandon Morrow TOR, Jeremy Guthrie BAL, Jarrod Washburn DET, Carl Pavano MIN, Ross Ohlendorf PIT


RELIEF PITCHER

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Jonathan Broxton, LAD	21.	Frank Francisco, TEX
2.	Joe Nathan, MIN	22.	Chad Qualls, ARI
3.	Mariano Rivera, NYY	23.	Kerry Wood, CLE
4.	Jonathan Papelbon, BOS	24.	Mike Gonzalez, BAL
5.	Francisco Rodriguez, NYM	25.	Brad Lidge, PHI
6.	Heath Bell, SD	26.	Leo Nunez, FLA
7.	Joakim Soria, KC	27.	Matt Capps, WAS
8.	Andrew Bailey, OAK	28.	Octavio Dotel, PIT
9.	Brian Wilson, SF	29.	Brandon Lyon, HOU
10.	Huston Street, COL	30.	Matt Thornton, CHW
11.	Francisco Cordero, CIN	31.	Jason Frasor, TOR
12.	Jose Valverde, DET	32.	Phil Hughes, NYY
13.	Carlos Marmol, CHC	33.	Neftali Feliz, TEX
14.	Trevor Hoffman, MIL	34.	J.P. Howell, TB
15.	David Aardsma, SEA	35.	Matt Lindstrom, HOU
16.	Brian Fuentes, ANA	36.	Kevin Gregg, TOR
17.	Rafael Soriano, TB	37.	Ryan Madson, PHI
18.	Billy Wagner, ATL	38.	Scott Downs, TOR
19.	Bobby Jenks, CHW	39.	Jim Johnson, BAL
20.	Ryan Franklin, STL	40.	Michael Wuertz, OAK

On the edge of the radar: Luke Gregerson SD, C.J. Wilson TEX, Fernando Rodney ANA, Chris Perez CLE, Mike MacDougal FLA, Joel Hanrahan PIT, Juan Gutierrez ARI, Todd Coffey MIL, Daniel Bard BOS, Mike Adams SD

Cowboy Up!

The Cubs signed Kevin Millar. Jesus to Jesus and eight hands around. The slow crawl deathmarch to the 2010 season continues. The Cubs haven't even played a game yet and I'm starting to feel ready for 2011. I guess Millar will compete with Chad Tracy for a backup role. Either that or body bag filler for Ted Lilly. Millar hit .223 with 7 homers for the Blue Jays last year. Christ, I didn't even know he was still playing last year.

It wasn't so long ago that I actually believed, naively mind you, that Jim Hendry actually had a plan of sorts. The past two seasons I think Jimbo pasted printouts from Baseball Reference on his office walls, put a blindfold on, and had Randy Bush spin him around a few times before he flung darts at random. If the darts landed on players who were still alive, Hendry offered them contracts.

By that methodology, how the hell did Hendry miss out on Byung-Hyun Kim? Surely he offered more than the Giants did for the unreliable relief pitcher.

TMS Fantasy Baseball Player Rankings 2010

I'm just starting to get my positional rankings together for the new season. Here are the first drafts for Catcher, First Base and Second Base. I will have the other positions up in the coming days.

CATCHER

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Joe Mauer, MIN	16.	John Baker, FLA
2.	Victor Martinez, CLE	17.	Kelly Shoppach, TB
3.	Brian McCann, ATL	18.	Miguel Olivo, COL
4.	Matt Wieters, BAL	19.	Carlos Ruiz, PHI
5.	Russell Martin, LAD	20.	Jarrod Saltalamacchia, TEX
6.	Jorge Posada, NYY	21.	Ramon Hernandez, CIN
7.	Kurt Suzuki, KC	22.	Rod Barajas, FA
8.	Miguel Montero, ARI	23.	Jesus Flores, WAS
9.	Mike Napoli, ANA	24.	Jeff Clement, SEA
10.	Ryan Doumit, PIT	25.	John Buck, TOR
11.	Geovany Soto, CHC	26.	Ivan Rodriguez, WAS
12.	Bengie Molina, SF	27.	Buster Posey, SF
13.	Yadier Molina, STL	28.	Gerald Laird, DET
14.	A.J. Pierzynski, CHW	29.	Lou Marson, CLE
15.	Chris Iannetta, COL	30.	Taylor Teagarden, TEX

On the edge of the radar: Jason Kendall KC, Nick Hundley SD, Dioner Navarro TB


FIRST BASE

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Albert Pujols, STL	16.	Adam Dunn, WAS
2.	Prince Fielder, MIL	17.	Carlos Pena, TB
3.	Miguel Cabrera, DET	18.	Billy Butler, KC
4.	Ryan Howard, PHI	19.	Michael Cuddyer, MIN
5.	Mark Teixeira, NYY	20.	Jose Lopez, SEA
6.	Mark Reynolds, ARI	21.	James Loney, LAD
7.	Adrian Gonzalez, SD	22.	Jorge Cantu, FLA
8.	Kevin Youkilis, BOS	23.	Garrett Jones, PIT
9.	Pablo Sandoval, SF	24.	Adam LaRoche, ARI
10.	Kendry Morales, ANA	25.	Todd Helton, COL
11.	Justin Morneau, MIN	26.	Paul Konerko, CHW
12.	Joey Votto, CIN	27.	Chris Davis, TEX
13.	Victor Martinez, CLE	28.	Nick Swisher, NYY
14.	Derrek Lee, CHC	29.	Nick Johnson, NYY
15.	Lance Berkman, HOU	30.	Carlos Delgado, FA

On the edge of the radar: Martin Prado ATL, Aubrey Huff SF, Casey Kotchman SEA, Russell Branyan FA


SECOND BASE

RK	PLAYER, TEAM	RK	PLAYER, TEAM
1.	Chase Utley, PHI	16.	Kelly Johnson, ARI
2.	Ian Kinsler, TEX	17.	Clint Barmes, COL
3.	Dustin Pedroia, BOS	18.	Martin Prado, ATL
4.	Robinson Cano, NYY	19.	Scott Sizemore, DET
5.	Aaron Hill, TOR	20.	Orlando Hudson, FA
6.	Brian Roberts, BAL	21.	Felipe Lopez, FA
7.	Brandon Phillips, CIN	22.	Alberto Callaspo, KC
8.	Ben Zobrist, TB	23.	Luis Castillo, NYM
9.	Dan Uggla, FLA	24.	Casey McGehee, MIL
10.	Asdrubal Cabrera, CLE	25.	Maicer Izturis, ANA
11.	Howie Kendrick, ANA	26.	Mark Ellis, OAK
12.	Jose Lopez, SEA	27.	Kazuo Matsui, HOU
13.	Ian Stewart, COL	28.	Akinori Iwamura, PIT
14.	Rickie Weeks, MIL	29.	Freddy Sanchez, SF
15.	Placido Polanco, PHI	30.	Skip Schumaker, STL

On the edge of the radar: Adam Kennedy OAK, Luis Valbuena CLE, Ronnie Belliard LAD, Chris Getz CHW, Jeff Baker CHC, Eugenio Velez SF

Cubs Condemned By Church Group

After learning that the Chicago National League Base-Ball Club signed Chad Tracy to a minor league contract, the National Council of Churches condemned the organization for ethical transgressions.

According to an NCC spokesperson, the Chicago Cubs were guilty of "playing God," when they combined the DNA of poor fielding former Cub and Ginger Spokesmodel Matt Murton with the DNA of poor hitting former Cub and War Criminal Aaron Miles, to create an amalgamation that "stands as a mockery to the laws of both Nature and Our Lord. An OPS of .695 on a man whose primary position is first base is nothing short of Sinful."

The Cubs fired back with a press release, which began: "Dude, the guy was a pretty good hitter a few years ago. Give us a damn break," and concluded "it's not like God has done any favors for us up to now."

Cubs Sign Professor X

In a bold move, today the Cubs agreed to terms with legendary leader of the X-Men, Professor X, Charles Xavier. My assumption is that he will take over the GM duties from human blob Jim Hendry, who will be released back into the wild.

Scratch that, I've just learned that the Cubs in fact signed outfielder Xavier Nady, who's coming off of his second Tommy John surgery. Hendry must have seen the words "second Tommy John" on Nady's resume and Krispey Kremed himself. Mutant.

Unless Nady's physical reveals something hinky (like aftereffects of 2 TJ surgeries), he'll join the Cubs as their fourth outfielder. Nady played in seven games for the Yankees in 2009, putting up a .286 average.

The 4th Outfielder Conundrum

Apparently, one of Jim Hendry's remaining goals for the offseason is finding a fourth outfielder, the idea being that we need someone who can out hit Micah Hoffpauir and Sam Fuld (right) off the bench. Shouldn't be too hard. Let's take a look at the array of suckage currently floating around out in free agent land. At least the Royals took a bullet and signed Rick Ankiel, thus removing him as an option. Thank you, Dayton Moore. Here are some losers who are still available:

1. Jermaine Dye: Derrek Lee and Dye are apparently buddies, so obviously Dye would be super awesome, right? Dye got off to a hot start in 2009, but tanked in the last two months of the season. He can play a little first base, but watching an outfield of Soriano, Byrd, and Dye would be like watching your mom give Rush Limbaugh head.

2. Jonny Gomes: Gomes is intriguing. He's flashed some power in the past and isn't a horrible outfielder. He's also coming off of an injury, which I'm sure gives ol' Jimbo a sweet chubby. Of all the guys on this list, he could make the most impact, provided his 80 year old body doesn't fall apart.

3. Reed Johnson: Now that DeRosa is a Giant, his stalkers have turned their attention to Reed Johnson. Reed's a cool guy and he certainly fills the Cubs' need for a guy who can grow facial hair between innings, but he's really not much of an upgrade over guys like Fuld. Unlike Fuld, however, Reed can actually hit the ball when there are runners on base, so he's got that going for him.

4. Jim Edmonds: This worked out once. I don't see it working out again. But hell, I thought Edmonds was finished when the Cubs signed him the last time and he proved me wrong. I still really want to hate him though, so I hope he doesn't come back.


5. Xavier Nady: Nady's coming off Tommy John surgery. If he were a mediocre pitcher, I'd say he was guaranteed to sign with the Cubs. We know how Hendry loves his reclamation projects. If he's healthy, he hits pretty good and he has a cool name. He could easily be the new DeRo for the Trixie set.


6. Marcus Thames: The former Tiger has some pop in his bat and can play the outfield and a little first base. He also strikes out a ton. The Cubs already had Craig Monroe once, they don't need him again. Pass.

7. Rocco Baldelli: This guy is still playing? Well, you can bet someone will be dumb enough to give him a contract. Let's just hope he's not a big fat white guy with the initials J.H. Sure Baldelli was on the Rays while Pinella was there, but he never actually played for Uncle Lou. He's the Mark Prior of outfielders.

8. Eric Byrnes: No. No-ho-ho. No. No.



Of these eight mouth breathers, if I had to pick one, I would probably take a chance on Gomes. He hit .267 with 20 homeruns in 98 games with the Reds last year. By comparison, the Hoff hit .239 with 10 HRs in 105 games and although Fuld hit .299, he only managed 2 RBIs and one HR. Fuld is basically Ryan Freel without Farney in his head. And Ryan Theriot already owns the "scrappy white guy" mantle on this team. Also on Jim Hendry's to do list is sign yet another relief pitcher. A few years ago, this team was dripping with second baseman. Couldn't we get at least one guy who might be considered a starting 2B before we add another crappy pitcher? Just a thought.

The Great McGwire Mea Culpa Dilemma

Bigger than the return of Greg Maddux to the Cubs organization yesterday, was Mark McGwire's announcement about his steroid use. The ginger behemoth admitted to the world that he did in fact use performance enhancing drugs, including in 1998 when he broke the single season home run record. In other news, water is wet, the sky is blue, and Jenna Jameson has seen more dick than the Boston Celtics' locker room. While I'm sure that for Cardinal fans, this comes as a bigger shock than finding out Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father, the rest of the baseball world lets out a collective meh. But I'm not here to talk about the past.

Oh, bullshit, yes I am. This announcement by McGwire might have had a little more meaning if he'd manned up and mentioned it in front of Congress. Oh, I know, he was advised by his lawyers not to speak, even though he now claims he wanted to come clean. And I'm sure that same lawyer had a gun in McGwire's back the whole time he was testifying or whatever it was that he did at that sorry excuse for a hearing. And Cardinal fans, I'm not giving the Cubs' own Slammin' Sammy a pass on this one either, as he was just as embarrassing as your boy. At least McGwire didn't have a lawyer read a written statement, claiming poor English as an excuse. Now that McGwire has owned up to his misdeeds, I would hope that Sammy has the good sense to follow suit.

What annoys me about the McGwire statement is that I personally believe that the only reason he's repenting now is because he's been given the position of hitting coach for the Cardinals this season. I'm sure he's only coming clean is so he won't have to answer questions about this for the entirety of the season. At this point in the whole steroid debacle, maybe it's a little ridiculous of me, but I think having a hitting coach who's an admitted cheater might just affect the credibility of whatever performance he gets from the players this season. What kind of example is he going to be setting for the kids who come up from AAA ball? "Make sure you practice your fundamentals, kids!" Wink wink nudge nudge. "It's what worked for me!" The Cubs find themselves in a somewhat similar situation, as Rudy Jaramillo comes over from the Rangers, a hotbed of PEDs at the height of the steroids era. However, Jaramillo never set a homerun record or served as a co-saviour of the sport. McGwire did.

If baseball is truly to put the specter of PEDs behind it once and for all, it needs to divest itself of those who profited the most from that era. Rewarding McGwire and others like him by allowing them to return to the game after sullying the sport and then lying about it sends the wrong kind of message. If you're going to do that, then you might as well allow Pete Rose in the Hall and just stop this nonsense about testing and maintaining the "purity" of the sport. What I see is this: McGwire cheated. He lied about cheating. Now he's given a chance to return to the game and the fans are expected to believe that he will do an honest job with the Cardinals' young players. Because he says so. Because Tony LaRussa says so. Because Bud Selig says so? It's not the past we should be talking about. It's the present and future of the credibility of the sport.

The Mad Dog Returns to Chicago

Greg Maddux is returning to the Cubs, not to step back on the Wrigley Field mound, but as an assistant to GM Jim Hendry. Maddux will assist the coaches at the both major and minor league spring training and most notably will be "assisting in the development of Cubs minor leaguers during the regular season and assisting Hendry and the baseball operations department in talent evaluation." (per the MLB.com article).

Granted, Maddux might know shit-all about developing minor league talent. However, I'm more than willing to take that chance. This is probably the best goddamn move the Cubs have made in two seasons, which really says something about the trades and free agent acquisitions of the past couple offseasons. The only sucky thing is that they didn't hire him to be the pitching coach. Cub pitchers learned more from Maddux in his second tenure with Chicago then they ever did from Larry Rothschild. Welcome back to Chicago, Professor!

Milton Bradley Watch

Threat Level: Still an ambulating asshole, still on the Cu-wait, what? There are actually rumors of a Bradley trade going down? No fucking way!






Who'd we get? C'mon, big money, no Whammies, no Whammies, no Whammies . . .


SHIT!!! Carlos Silva, seriously? I know Bradley is a cantering cocknugget, but come on! I'd rather keep Bradley and hope Lou can keep from killing him for a season just so Ryne Sandberg gets a chance to manage the selfish prick.

In case anybody cares, Silva pitched in all of 8 games last year, finishing 1 and 3 with an 8.60 ERA before mercifully injuring himself. 2008 wasn't any better as Silva pitched in 28 games, amassing a 4 and 15 record with an ERA of 6.46. He's also fucking big. And not the good kind of big, if you know what I mean. Let's put it this way: if Silva ever went to Japan, the fucking Sea Shepherd would be following him around for his own protection.

Jesus.
Wept.

Milton Bradley Watch

Threat Level: STILL a fucking Cub. Still a perambulating prick.

The past few days have seen a flurry of moves, all made by other teams. The Blue Jays, Phillies, and Mariners may complete a blockbuster deal that would send ace Roy Halladay to Philadelphia and Cliff Lee to the Mariners. The Mariners suddenly look like contenders and remain in the mix for Jason Bay. The Red Sox meanwhile have signed Cub target Mike Cameron for 2 years and seem on the verge of acquiring John Lackey. Speculation is that Lackey's presence will allow them to deal Clay Bucholz and Jacoby Ellsbury for Adrian Gonzalez. Like the Red Sox really need to get any better. And the Cardinals have supposedly offered Matt Holiday 16M per over 8 years.

What have the Cubs done this year? Purged the team of every player signed last offseason, save the brooding Bradley. Resigned John Grabow, whose arm will probably now fall off. And they've expressed interest in signing Pirates closer Matt Capps, who was non-tendered by the Bucs. I fully expect Hendry to overpay to secure three years of Capps and call the offseason a success. I know there's a lot of post-season left, but so far it's had a very 2004 feel to it. Remember Freddie Bynum? Yeah, me neither.

It's looking more and more like Bradley will still be our problem come next season. Can Jim and Lou put the pieces back together and get the sulky Milton to play up to his potential? Can the rest of the team live with a guy who has no interest in being a team player and still compete? Will Lou snap and beat Milton to death with a baseball bat? Would any of the Cubs stop him if he did? And if he did, are the Cubs still on the hook for Milton's salary? All questions worth pondering as we death march to Opening Day 2010.

Milton Bradley Watch

Threat Level: Still on the Cubs. Still a giant walking cock. Looking more untradeable than ever.

Well, the "mystery team" rumor turned out to be a complete load of shit. Big surprise there. According to Carrie Muskat, the Cubs are now "scrambling" to deal Bradley. Fantastic. When I think of the word "scrambling" a little movie of the Keystone Kops appears in my head, coupled with the music from Bennie Hill, two things I don't want associated with my major league baseball team.

The way things are looking right now, unloading Aarons Miles and Heilman might be the highlight of the offseason. If that ends up being the case, I'll . . .I'll . . . fuck. We all know that I'm not going to stop watching this team. And neither are any of you, since you bothered to come here.