Brant's Rant

NFL 'hang time' clocks:
What in the hell is the point of showing the 'hang time' of a punt in digital format on an NFL broadcast. The point of a punt is to pin the receiving team as deep into their own territory as possible. Why in God's name would I care if it takes that punt 4.9 or 4.3 seconds to land? How much money went into creating that graphic on each broadcast. Better yet, how many wasted dollars are going to some chump in a truck starting and stopping that fucking clock? Yes, these are hard economic times, but that ass hat would serve us a lot better if he were washing our cars or serving our drinks.

The term 'bogo':
If you're not hip to it yet, the term 'bogo' stands for 'buy one get one'. It is often associated with shitty restaurants and second-rate merchandisers. If you're like me, you often hear 'bogo' at your place of work, possibly in the form of a mass e-mail sent throughout the office by an overweight post-menopausal woman, with a coupon attached. You know what bitch? I don't give a shit if Souplantation has a buy one meal, get one half off promotion. Take your fat ass and barren womb over to that shithole buffet with one of the other hags and eat clam chowder until you have a fucking coronary. Please. Just don't bother me with your cost-savings nonsense, I don't give two shits about your frivolity. I feel so sorry for your husband, who likely lost his will to live 20 years ago. I shit on your 'bogo'.

Kids playing stickball in the street and their ignorant parents:
I'm all about our nation's youth getting exercise, being outdoors, using their imaginations and such. But for Christ's sake, don't play stickball on the street that's full of parked cars! How stupid can you be? My car was parked in my own goddamn driveway and you hit it twice you pieces of shit! If you're going to knock a projectile, go down four blocks to the fucking park! How is that not clear? Do you not have parents? Are they unaware that it's their designated weekend to be responsible for you? If they were worth their salt, they wouldn't allow you to play ball in the street and destroy other people's property. Or perhaps they're too busy smoking drugs or cheating on their spouses, and are just glad that you're not in the house to witness their various indiscretions. Either way, here's to hoping that you mature quickly enough to not knock up some girl before you graduate high school.

Overrated: international friendlies; Tim McGraw; USC football; Bill Belichick's ego
Underrated: the Bengals being good; the word 'cocksure'; Colts vs. Patriots

Brant's Rant

First off, welcome back to the NFL. We missed you greatly.

NFL Division Matchups in Week 1: Does anyone else think that it might not be the best idea to play divisional rivals during the first week of the season? By it's nature, we witness quite a bit of rust during Week 1, as most starters do not play in the last pre-season game, and new players have yet to fully click with their teammates and gameplans. I do not mean this as an excuse for poor opening game performances, but I think it is a fair argument. For example, the Bears and Packers both looked like they were working out kinks on offense last night. If the Bears are going to have a game scheduled with a non-conference opponent like the Bengals, why not slot that in for the first week of the season, instead of an important game with a divisional foe? It would allow the players a full game to get their sea legs under them, and potential tie-breaker scenarios at the end of the season would not be dictated by what is often a less than stellar first game. Logistically, the NFL schedule is not nearly as difficult to piece together as the MLB schedule. I do not see a logical reason as to why non-conference teams, or at the very least teams outside of your division, cannot be scheduled for Week 1.

Pepsi's "Forever Young" Commercial: This commercial, featuring Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" as sung by some rapper named William, was first introduced to us during last February's Superbowl. Early this spring, in a shrewd bit of advertising, Pepsi spliced old baseball footage into the commercial and aired it on a near-continuous loop on the Major League Baseball network, amongst other stations. After six months of bombardment, the first notes of the song have come to elicit anger, hitting, and the throwing of various objects in the Brown household (mostly by Mrs. Brown). But hey, baseball season is drawing to a close, so the commercial will soon go quietly into that good night, right? Apparently not. A revamped version came on during the Steelers/Titans game, naturally with old football footage taking the place of baseball. This could quickly surpass John Mellencamp's "Our Country" song for Chevy as the most painful ad campaign ever.

Anthony Bourdain's Lack of Traveling: If you watch "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations", you'll likely have noticed that the overwhelming majority of episodes this season take place in the United States. I'd like to give the Travel Channel the benefit of the doubt here. Perhaps Bourdain just wants to stay closer to home for a while. What I really hope is that the Travel Channel isn't citing the recent economic downturn as their reason for keeping Bourdain in the states. Maybe they don't have the budget of recent years, but if they indeed have chosen to ground Bourdain in favor of such one trick ponies as Andrew Zimmern and "Bite Me with Dr. Mike", then we are all being cheated. Bourdain actually brings something intellectual and personal to the table, two qualities which are increasingly lacking in our short attention span, shock value television of late.

Clint Dempsey (American soccer player): Please help me out here Clint. You make me so sad when I watch you play soccer. Are you going for the "Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3" look, or the "two days out of Auschwitz" look? For the love of God man, eat something; smile on occasion; grow your hair back out a half-inch. Please pretend that you're happy and love your job, because this could very well be a pivotal year for American soccer. So many impressionable kids are looking up to you.

The FOX Robot: Countless blogs and commenters have chided FOX for their idiotic graphic robot (you know which one I'm talking about). Many of us were secretly praying that the network would finally ditch this gimmick for the 2009 season. I didn't even want to mention it to my friends over the last few weeks for fear of jinxing it. Alas, they did not scrap the damn robot. I suppose you can give FOX kudos for their conviction, though we would rather that you did not.

A Non-Rant: I despise USC football. I'm a Big Ten guy by nature, and living in Southern California, I am tired of all the USC ball-washing. That being said, I am fairly interested in the Mark Sanchez-led Jets. I suspect that they will be on television quite a few times in our region, and I vow to maintain an interest in how they fare.

Brant's Rant

The Harden Trade: What's that, you say that the Cubs might be led to the promise land by Harden, but he might alternately spend the second half on the DL? Oh my goodness, such Earth-shatter prognostications! Naturally every columnist, beat writer, talking head on Baseball Tonight, and sports radio host has felt the need in the last 36 hours to take a position on this trade. We all know the risk and the potential reward the Cubs have at hand. Colin Cowherd, I don't care how much you want to stroke Billy Beane's ego (possibly cock) and hang out with him in his beachside cabana, sitting in the jacuzzi sipping on strawberry daiquiris, discussing Daric Barton's ass and Ryan Sweeney's OPS. I'm sorry, what? Wrong Billy? Sorry, so sorry.

Listen, there was no room in Wrigley Field for Murton (God bless his soul) or Josh Donaldson for quite literally the next five years. Eric Patterson? Possibly in the next two years, but his chances as a Cub were, like it or not, damaged by our experiences with his brother. Ask LaTroy Hawkins and Jacques Jones how well it goes over when you lose the favor of the Cub faithful. Good luck to Patterson. Gallagher is the only piece that would have played a significant role in the near future for the Cubs. Well, Gaudin takes his place, plus we get a potentially fantastic number two starter for the pennant run. It's a win-win all the way around. Billy Beane is a brilliant GM, but he and Hendry were both doing what was in the best interest of their teams. Sure, Beane has a great track record for dealing his players away at just the right time, but this is the year that the Cubs need to take this chance.

Brett Favre: "OMG I mite want 2 play nxt year pass it on" The only people interested in this elaborate circle jerk are the poor souls living in the remote expanses of Wisconsin. Yes, yes, yes, he has been a fantastic quarterback. But he retired. I know, Jordan came back, Sandberg came back, but Favre is seriously toying with an entire franchise in a much more detrimental manner. They need to move past Favre and quit playing this game of peek-a-boo each offseason. Aaron Rodgers needs real game experience. End on a good note Brett. Go ride your lawnmower into the sunset like a real man and quit text messaging like a fourteen year old girl. You have a reputation to uphold.

The Decline of the Neck Tie: I've grown to pity those not required to don this most prestigious piece of men's apparel. Ties are not only for salesmen and waiters. They allow the wearer to exhibit importance and professionalism; to take pride in a job, even if said job may be monotonous or a temporary career stopgap. Contrary to popular belief, the neck tie is neither uncomfortable nor restricting, especially if you spend the majority of the day in front of a computer. If my grandpa had to wear it, and my father had to wear it, then goddamnit, I'm going to wear it. How can you take someone seriously when they're just wearing Dockers and polo shirt? Those half-men do not command respect. The tie bearer does.

Pour me a glass of scotch.

Brant's Rant

Motorcycles I will say with all confidence, that if you own a motorcycle (dirtbikes excluded), you are a subpar human. This burgeoning hatred in my soul for the motorized bicycle specifically addresses Harley’s or other large, noisy machines of that ilk, and what are known as “crotch rockets”. Motocross bikes are fine, as long as they are in the bed of your pickup truck on their way to a genuine dirt track or field where I don’t have to see or hear them. On the other hand, if you ride your motocross bike on residential streets, or Christ forbid a freeway, you are amongst the highest order of dipshit.

Three things in particular stoke my fire about the motorcycle. The first is the unnecessarily loud engines that vibrate and echo from the underbelly of a Harley. Specifically, it's the rumbling that sets off car alarms, frightens dogs, and makes everyone in your vicinity abhor you. Many quiet or dramatic movie scenes in our household have been destroyed by these assholes that rumble up to the stop sign outside our home. More often than not, these degenerates and sex offenders will rev the goddamn engine and sit there for 30 seconds, hoping that someone gawks at their annoying motorcycle in adoration. Unfortunately for them, our neighborhood now lacks the skinheads and pedophiles that frequent Harley shops and would appreciate such a machine. Perhaps a noise ordinance campaign should be put in effect.

The second thing that really pisses me off about this sad lot is when the “crotch rocket” hoodlums (who are often high school dropouts and gangbangers) ride their bikes in packs, particularly on crowded downtown streets. Luckily for the normal, law-abiding citizens, the police are often able to pull these packs of kids over, as the coffee and donut shops are conveniently located on the same avenues.

Finally, the weaving. When there is heavy traffic, you, good American, must be extra vigilant, knowing that at any moment a motorcycle could whiz by your car as the maladjusted individual commanding it weaves between cars. This behavior begs for a bloody accident. While it has been so tempting to just open the car door and learn these idiots a valuable lesson, I somehow refrain. I don’t think I’ll ever have it in me to hurt one of them, though I often wish for their injury. I just can’t understand how this idiotic behavior is tolerated.

Public Urination I’m OK with public urination on two conditions: 1) it be done in the secrecy of night, and 2) it be done in an alley in Mexico. Where we live, we have a lot of kids that park their cars on our street, grab their surfboards out of the truck, and run down to the beach. Often they will be gone for a couple hours, but naturally they wait until they get back to their vehicles to evacuate their bladders. Apparently they cannot be bothered with using the public restrooms provided by the city. What really sets me off is when they find it necessary to piss in broad daylight, often on another person’s garage or house (there are precious few grassy areas where we live). When I’m walking by and witness this, I’ve often wanted to stop and piss on their car or truck, just to see their oblivious looks of disgust. Alas, I continue to abstain. Castration is the only fitting form of retribution. I will bring this to the next City Hall meeting.

Vacation When you want to take a few days off of work, perhaps even two weeks, you call it a vacation. Somewhere along the line, possibly in mid to late 2006, it was deemed appropriate to suggest that you were not taking a vacation, but a “vacay”. This abbreviated form of the word is now entrenched in the vocabulary of today’s youth. From what I understand, it may have been popularized in the Will Ferrell film Stranger Than Fiction. I cannot be sure if this was its origin, but I intend on researching the matter further. In any case, the term “vacay” makes the speaker sound pompous, though they may feel they are being witty and ironic. They would be wrong.

This concludes my rant. Thank you for your attention.

Brant's Rant: Russia, "What a Country!"

My recent travels to the Soviet Union, er, Russia, did not, as expected, provide a bounty of international baseball talent. I found nary a batting cage, nor a game of stickball in the mean streets of Saint Petersburg. It probably didn’t help that the hockey world championships were occurring at the time, an event that would fall on deaf ears in the United States.

Nevertheless, the excursion was fruitful, in that it debunked many myths ingrained in my mind by my mid-‘80s education and textbooks written during the Cold War. Many would not know that Saint Petersburg is actually a very beautiful city, modeled after Venice, with canals, footbridges, and immaculate cathedrals around every corner. The people were generally in good spirits and friendly, and didn’t hassle you as long as you at least tried to blend in and throw around a phrase or two in Russian.

I spoke to a number of university students, all of which were very concerned about how they are perceived in the U.S. They swear they don’t all drink vodka, and they only wear fur hats because it’s so damn cold in the winter. In fact, Russians as a whole are very open to this “global warming” phenomenon.

The sun setting at 11:00 pm and rising before 5:00 am certainly messed with my body, but allowed me to maximize the daylight to see the city. Contrary to popular belief, they do have hot water, they do have modern technology, and there were not armed gunman on every street corner. We were warned heavily about pickpockets, but never encountered an attempt to hijack our rubles. Only one person hassled me, a homeless man with no legs. I simply outran him.

All in all, it was a fantastic experience, and comes highly recommended. Be aware though, that you cannot simply purchase a ticket on Orbitz and show up in Russia. Volumes of paperwork need to be filled out and approved beforehand. So, for those that will never get the chance to visit, I’ve prepared a top ten list of strange observations, along with some pictures. In descending order of amazement:

1) Vodka in Russia is good. We've all heard this. Well, it's the damned truth, not to mention it is cheap. Good ol' fashioned sippin' vodka. The really good stuff will only cost you $8 for a half liter bottle. The standard issue runs about $4, which is still better than the trash you get in the U.S. We brought a bunch back with us. I'll never buy vodka in an American store again.

2) Many of the events we attended were on the top floors of large buildings. You could not rely on the use of elevators. If there was an elevator, it likely did not work, or would only fit two people at a time. The legs got a workout.

3) The staircases were unique in pretty much every building we entered. Most of the buildings in the city were constructed in the 1940's or earlier, and were hastily put up with little funding. Therefore, most of the stairs are not symmetrical in any way. Each step varied in height and depth. Not necessarily easy to navigate after a half-bottle of the aforementioned vodka.

4) I did much of my walking about town in the wee hours following sunrise. At that time of day, you run into the little people taking care of the litter on the streets. They wear orange vests and sweep garbage into dustbins. But they don't use real brooms as you might expect. Their brooms are really just a bunch of twigs bound together and strapped to a large stick. Homemade if you will, but they seemed to get the job done.

5) Aside from Russian, the most common language heard on the streets is English. Except it's the Queen's English. Apparently their interpreters and general public learn English off of British tapes. Which is probably why "tea" means "coffee" and "chai" means "tea". Damn Brits.

6) There are few rules of the road in Russia. There are no speed limits. Crosswalks are a touchy affair. When lanes are painted, few drivers abide by them. It's really just a free-for-all on the road. I would never drive in Saint Petersburg (a typical Russian vehicle at left).

7) Parking is an issue, or at least it would be for Americans. Again with the cars though, few rules apply. Not quite enough room to parallel park? Then it's perfectly acceptable to pull straight in, hop the cub, and leave your trunk hanging out in the street. I should have taken pictures of this.

8) From what I understand, in some European countries, restrooms are referred to as "water closets", and are marked with a WC. Well, the same is true in Russia, though men's and women's water closets are usually not differentiated. On a number of occasions I would be standing at a urinal, only to have a woman come out of the adjacent stall. I think this needs to be adopted in the United States. We should be mature enough to not segregate our water closets by gender.

9) Like most major metropolitan areas, Saint Petersburg has an underground subway system. However, due to the unique geology of the city, which has the River Neva flowing through it and numerous canals, coupled with the intent to use the metro system as a nuclear shelter, make for about a 5 minute escalator ride down to the platforms (pictured at right).

10) Finally, we saved the best for last. Cultural differences obviously abound between two countries such as the United States and Russia. Yet to walk down the streets of Saint Petersburg, or to sit down in a coffee shop and observe the people, you would not be able to really draw any conclusions based on appearance. Except for one thing: the mullets. It would be safe to say that 50% of all Russian boys and young men sport the mullet, as well as unnecessarily tight jeans. The odd thing is that the young women mostly look like they belong in the OC, with their big sunglasses, fancy boots, and designer purses. Clearly they spend the majority of their money on appearances. Unfortunately, those women who are not as trendy also can fall prey to the mullet, probably in the 10-20% range. Sadly we concluded that their fascination with the mullet was not an ironic one. Only with diplomatic understanding and cooperation can we help them overcome this obstacle. Perhaps when Bush and Putin meet in Kennebunkport this July, they can put this issue on the table.

Other random notes:

• The beef stroganoff we had one night was fantastic.
• They love peach yogurt.
• Russians have a very profound knowledge and understanding of their history, and are an extremely proud people.
  
• The preferred beer in Russia is called Baltica. Different types of Baltica are numbered, so you order Baltica 3 (light beer), Baltica 4 (regular draft), Baltica 5 (like a Heineken), Baltica 6 (wheat), etc.
• Most restaurants are underground.
• The ballet will make you fall asleep.
• Coca-Cola signs dominate the city.
• McDonald's and Subway were the only American chains we came across.
• We took a train to Helsinki, Finland for a couple days, which is a very old-school, cool city.
• The Fins have shitty beer and a lot of bike paths.
  

Brant's Rant: Post Holiday Summary

We're back from Thanksgiving with controversy galore. Let's handle it with bullet points and comments:

• Rex Grossman. Bench him or stick with him? Lovie says Rex is the man, which is generally a kiss of death for any athlete or coach. There's no doubt in my mind that Brian Griese could minimize the turnovers to two or three instead of Rex's current pace of five per game. But if Rex is pulled, is the Grossman era effectively over? I say yes. You can't commit to a young QB and change your mind. His confidence is already shattered. We either ride it out with Grossman and win a couple playoff games, or we go for the title with Griese and draft another QB. From what I hear, the fans are 50/50 on this. Your thoughts?
• Alfonso Soriano has asked the Cubs' permission to play winter ball in the Dominican Republic. First, I think this is great. It shows that he's not the kind of guy to sign his fat contract and then sit around like King Shit. The guy wants to get better, and is now open to whatever position the Cubs want him to play. Obviously though, there is the injury risk. Wouldn't they have the foresight though to put something regarding winter ball in his contract? Or is that too obvious? Ultimately, I'm sure the Cubs will insist he doesn't play, and hopefully this doesn't get the relationship with our new money man off to a bad start. On the other hand, 20+ games in center field wouldn't hurt.
• The Astros signed Carlos Lee to a six-year, $100 million deal. Nearly $17 million per year. For a guy that was just average after his trade to Texas? A number of teams were lined up for his services, but you can't blame him for taking that kind of money and running. The Soriano signing certainly tweaked the market. It probably would have made more sense for the Astros to trade for Manny Ramirez than bog down their payroll with Lee. Hey, at least Bagwell is off the books.
• Anything else I missed?
  

Brant's Rant: Re-signing A-Ram-Ram

Common sense prevailed as the free agent season swept into motion in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Though it never should have come to this, the Cubs were able to re-sign Aramis Ramirez at somewhat of a hometown discount. The 5-year $73 million deal locks Ramirez up during the prime of his career, and helps avert the gaping chasm of third base for what could be 8+ years when it's all said and done. I'm not the biggest fan of A-Ram-Ram, and none of us will ever forget his disappearance when the Cubs needed him most early in 2006. However, when he doesn't have to be the primary contributor, we all know he can flourish.

It was a busy day for Jim Hendry as he was also able to lock up Kerry Wood to a one year incentive-laden deal. I'm not opposed to this move since it seems to be a sure bet that he'll be used exclusively out of the bullpen. Obviously the wear and tear on his shoulder will no longer allow him to throw 100 pitches at a time, but will the up and down, start and stop activity in the bullpen be any kinder to that shoulder? We'll find out. If anything, he could be a great stopper in the 8th inning, and perhaps take the reigns from the feeble Ryan Dempster as the next great white Cubs closer.

With these two signings, Cub fans should be able to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that we don't have to put the 2007 season in the hands of Jim Hendry's botched free agent moves. At least Sheffield is no longer available. If anything, Ramirez walking away from the potential cash that the Angels and Dodgers would have surely thrown at him and believing in the new Cubs regime is exactly what was needed. Hopefully a few free agents will now approach Hendry at the winter meetings in hopes of hitching up to the Cubs wagon. We at ThunderMatt fully endorse the potential acquisition of Gary Matthews, Jr. to fill our hole at leadoff. Juan Pierre had a fantastic second half of the season, and we appreciate his hard work and dedication. But realistically, we need someone that can hit more than one home run per year. We thought we had our leadoff situation figured out by trading for Pierre, but we need to move in a different direction.

I would like to now invite argument...

Brant's Rant: An Addendum

I wasn't aware of this when I wrote my ESPN piece yesterday, but it looks like the beast has taken a hit. Mobile ESPN has gone by the wayside, as detailed in this Businessweek article by Tom Lowry. So it seems that they've recognized a limit to their reign of terror, at least in the cellular service market. Have no fear, they will try again. Remember though, they need you more than you need them.

Brant's Rant: ESPNRadio - It's Craptastic!

If you scour the Internet, you can probably find about 20 blogs or websites that decry the state of ESPN. We would like to be added to that list. But instead of ranting about the proliferation of television channels (ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNU, ESPN Classic, ESPN News, ESPN Alternative Lifestyles), I'd like to discuss ESPNRadio. When I first began actively listening about six years ago, we were blessed with the likes of Mike & Mike in the Morning (before they sold their souls), followed by Tony Kornheiser, and capped off by The Dan Patrick Show. Now the schedules would vary by region, with local programming squeezed into the mix across the country, but this was our lineup in the Los Angeles market. Then, seemingly overnight, Mike & Mike went metrosexual, Tony left the radio booth, and Dan lost his sidekick, the incomparable Rob Dibble. The joy of ESPN Radio began spiraling down the toilet.

Fast forward to 2004. ESPN decides to bring in some schmuck named Colin Cowherd to take Tony Kornheiser's prime timeslot in the morning. My disdain for Mr. Cowherd is well documented, as you can read in the two-week Colin Cowherd Project in the left sidebar. Mike & Mike were pushed to an ungodly time, something along the lines of 3am-6am, when only meth addicts and minutemen might be spinning the dials. Dan Patrick got serious on his show, then tried to hide his graying hair with a hideous dye-job that's so comical, he may be eligible for a Redhead of the Week. Each of these shows were consumed in the sports media blitz of creating controversy and bashing it into the skulls of listeners. Non-sensical arguments were consistently repeated, with every angle of every non-story sucked what little blood it could offer. The Terrell Owens non-suicide attempt and the Kenny Rogers incident are only the most recent examples. Yes, give me my sports news, but don't start swatting my ass with it like it's a yardstick, or put it out on my arm like dad's cigarettes. I want my news, I want a rational debate about it, and then I want to move on to the next topic. I don't want to go home and feel like I've been yelled at for doing something wrong.

That being said, I'm not championing for ESPNRadio to become too lighthearted or anything. In fact, it's this sportsertainment hybrid horseshit that probably set off my rant. My local market guys on ESPN Radio (I'll get to them shortly) said that there was going to be a major announcement on the Mike & Mike show Tuesday morning at 5:05am PST. Now, I certainly wasn't going to wake up and listen at that time, but I was curious enough to check out what the "big" announcement was later in the day. What was it? Mike & Mike were going to be on Letterman that night. Well fuck you. That's the "big" news that they even had our local radio hosts pimping? That the two Mikes were so full of themselves, so above the news, so much the news, that ESPN got them scheduled in on Letterman??? You, Michael and Michael, are paid to tell me the sports stories of the day. You are not paid to be the story. ESPN has inflated you to Hollywood status. Temper your egos good sirs. Temper them.

Now I'm going to move on to my local ESPN Radio affiliate, 710 AM in the Los Angeles area. The crapfest of the aforementioned shows is only the beginning of our day. After Dan signs off, we are treated to two hours of rehashed arguments and awkward silences presented by Gary Miller and D'Marco Farr. You may remember Gary Miller when he was a prominent face on the ESPN network. You know, before the peeing incident. Is there a new and hip analogy for banging one's head against a wall? Because that's what I feel like doing when I listen to these two ass-clowns. However, I'm usually in a car when I hear them, so I end up honking and flipping people off.

Our workday concludes with another local show featuring Steve Mason and John Ireland, the two who told me about the fantastic revelation on the Mike & Mike show. Ireland is a reporter that travels with the Lakers. He probably thinks Kobe likes him. I'm not sure what Mason really "does" although I gather that he owns movie theaters and is fairly wealthy. This show isn't as bad as it could be, though I find Ireland nearly as insufferable as Cowherd. Not in the same manner though. It probably has to do with Ireland being Republican. But I digress.

ESPN 710 is also the home of the Anaheim Angels (not the LA Angels), Clippers basketball, and USC football. Thank Christ they finally ditched the LA Kings (this would be a hockey franchise). They also broadcast most major MLB games. Basically, once it hits 5pm, you have no idea what you're going to be listening to on your commute home. This September, 710 had to bump the Saturday Angel games to a different station so they could air an entire day of USC pregame ass-pat festivities leading to their evening games. Apparently they think they can offer us everything. It really just ends up being a clusterfuck of programming.

All of which brings me to my larger point (if I really have one). At some point, the powers that be at ESPN need to slow the fuck down and reevaluate their plan of sportsersodomytainment dominance. I, for one, am sick of it. I'm seeking alternative sports news sources, and staying away from the "argument for argument's sake" attitude and the self-aggrandizing of not only ESPN television, but their radio networks and talk show hosts.

ESPN had a host out here in LA for a number of years and canned him last fall. His name is Joe McDonnell. I don't always like him. He talks about boxing and wrestling way too much, and he likes hip-hop. But now he's on a rival station, and he knows a shitload more about the local sports scene than any of the local ESPN radio schmucks. The other night I heard him refer to ESPN as the "perpetually self-promoting" network. On this I will agree. ESPN radio hosts do not speak for me. And they sure as hell do not deserve a place on Letterman.

Good Day.