Gracies and Neifis: Week 9

With a holiday last Monday, I decided to take a week off from the G&N. Feeling refreshed, now it's time to take a look at the players who may actually know how to win games and not fight with their teammates.

Week Nine (5/28 - 6/3)

THE GRACIES - The cream of the crop this past week

Gary Sheffield (Det - OF) - After a rough start in April, Sheff has turned it on in the last month. This past week he went 10 for 29 with 4 homers and 9 RBI.

Brad Hawpe (Col - OF) - Here's another guy that kick it up a notch in May. Hawpe closed out the month with a homer in three straight games, and has helped the Rockies win 9 of their last 12 games.

Prince Fielder (Mil - 1B) - I read a nice article last week about Fielder and Tony Gwynn Jr. It seems the Gwynn family sort of took young Prince in when he was first starting out in the majors and offered some family support that was never there with his dad Cecil. Perhaps Tony Sr. showed him a thing or two about hitting as well, since Fielder's average is much better than "Big Daddy" ever hit. Prince went 8 for 23 this past week with 4 homers to bring his NL leading total to 19 on the season.

Dan Uggla (Fla - 2B) - Uggla had a nice week as he began a 7 game hitting streak. He seems like a good guy to have on your team. Of course if he were on the Cubs, he'd probably rot in AAA while we had to endure Mark DeRosa.

Vladimir Guerrero (LAA - OF) - Guerrero batted .423 this week with 2 home runs including one yesterday that wound up being the game winner for the Angels.

Doug Davis (Ari - SP) - Davis picked up two wins on the road this week against the Mets and Phillies. After a few rough outings earlier in the month, Doug ends May on a positive note.

Jeremy Bonderman (Det - SP) - After starting the season with 5 straight no decisions, Bonderman has now won 5 straight, including two games this week versus Cleveland and Tampa Bay.

Joe Blanton (Oak - SP) - Blanton had the Twins baffled on Saturday en route to a 3 hit, complete game shutout. Joe struck out 6 and walked none during the outing.


THE NEIFIS - Desperately in need of a Slumpbuster

Howie Kendrick (LAA - 2B) - Howie managed only 1 hit this week and struck out 7 times. He finished up the month of May with a .152 AVG, and is now hitting .236 for the year.

Corey Patterson (Bal - OF) - 2 for 20, no walks, 6 strikeouts. Can we bring him back? He'd fit right in with the current gang of outfielders.

Carl Crawford (TB - OF) - For those that don't follow the D-Rays or play fantasy baseball. Crawford is usually a pretty damn good player. Despite that, Carl had a rough week at home hitting only .125. His home batting average is now .268 while his average on the road is .336. Just more proof that Tropicana Field is the most depressing place on Earth to play baseball.

Michael Barrett (ChC - C) - Ugh, for reasons I don't feel the need to rehash.

Damion Easley (NYM - 2B) - Hey, remember back when Damion Easley actually mattered? Yeah, neither do I.

Adam Eaton (Phi - SP) - Eaton was roughed up on Friday for 5 runs on 6 hits and 4 walks in 2 innings of work. If only the Giants could face Eaton every outing.

Vicente Padilla (Tex - SP) - Just as bad as Eaton was former Phillie Padilla. The Mariners teed off on him over 3 innings, getting 9 hits and 7 runs. How this guy still has a starting job at this point is beyond me.

Carlos Zambrano (ChC - SP) - Friday's stats: 5 innings, 13 hits, 6 earned runs, 2 walks, 0 strikeouts, 1 TKO. I think we can officially say the dominance of the "Fat Z Era" has come to an end.

Gracies and Neifis: Week 7

Once again it's another edition of everyone's least favorite feature at TMS.

Week Seven (5/14 - 5/20)

THE GRACIES - The cream of the crop this past week

David Wright (NYM - 3B) - Like Billy Madison catching the dodgeball and proceeding to pelt all the first graders, Wright has seemingly broken out of his funk and now everyone is in "big, big trouble!" Wright has hit 7 home runs in the month of May so far, including4 this week.

Aramis Ramirez (ChC - 3B) - Speaking of third basemen that are killing the ball, A-Ram Ram had a great week hitting .423 with 3 homers and 12 RBI.

Ichiro Suzuki (Sea - OF) - Ichiro went an astounding 15 for 26 this week and stole 8 bases. If anyone has a soundbite of the Japanese kid screaming, "EEEE-CHEEE-RO!" I'd love to have it.

Hunter Pence (Hou - OF) - I've never even seen this guy play before, but I already hate him. I'm sure his biography would say that his favorite movie is Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, and he enjoys listening to Kenny Chesney and Rascal Flatts, except when he's getting pumped up before a game. Then his iPod is chock full of Creed. Anyway screw you Hunter, and your .590 AVG this week.

Kevin Youkilis (Bos - 1B) - Youks managed to run up his hitting streak to 13 games now. He finished up the week with a nice 3-3 game against Atlanta yesterday.

Daisuke Matsuzaka (Bos - SP) - After a few rough outings there, Dice has buckled down again and pitched two solid efforts this week including a complete game versus Detroit. Dice fanned 11 and walked none over 17 innings of work.

Randy Johnson (Ari - SP) - The Big Unit looked more like his old self this week as he handled the hapless Pirates and Rockies with ease. Johnson struck out 19 over 11 2/3 innings.

Fausto Carmona (Cle - SP) - Carmona pitched a gem last Thursday against the Twins. Allowing only 4 hits and 2 walks, while striking out 4, Fausto earned his first complete game shutout of his career.


THE NEIFIS - Desperately in need of a Slumpbuster

Andruw Jones (Atl - OF) - This can't be helping his value on the market this coming offseason. Jones went an abysmal 3 for 25 this week, striking out 12 times, including a horrific 5 strikeout game yesterday at Boston.

Juan Uribe (ChW - SS) - Uribe struck out 12 time this week as well. Only difference is, no one gives a shit if he does it.

Adam Dunn (Cin - 1B) - Shocked by the revelation that his batting average was over .280, Dunn worked feverishly to submarine it to a more comfortable .260.

Matt Murton (ChC - OF) - Don't think Thunder Matt is immune to criticism here. Don't get me wrong, I'm the first one to come to his defense time and time again. But there is little you can say about a 1 for 14 week with 5 strikeouts. The thunder just isn't there right now.

Alex Gonzalez (Cin - SS) - He's hitting .162 so far this month. That's the Alex we all know and love.

David Aardsma (ChW - RP) - Aardsma hadn't pitched too bad this season, that is until he faced his former team over the weekend. David was roughed up pretty good by the Cubs, including loading up the bases for Derrek Lee's heroic grand slam off of Boone Logan.

Brett Tomko (LAD - SP) - While Randy Wolf has been a pleasant surprise and Mark Hendrickson hasn't been horribly sucky, Tomko's outings have become nightmarish. St. Louis bludgeoned Brett for 8 runs in the first 3 innings last Monday.

Adam Wainwright (StL - SP) - While Tomko got rocked on Monday, the Dodgers exacted their revenge on Wainwright the next day. The World Series hero turned mediocre starter didn't last much longer than Tomko the day before, giving up 8 runs as well before being yanked in the third inning. It's still early, but the Deadbirds horrible start has been one of my favorite running subplots so far this season.

Gracies and Neifis: Week 6

Well at least the Cubs avoided being swept yesterday, not to mention it was nice to see another outstanding performance from Ted Lilly not go to waste.

I had fun at Thursday's game, although the outcome sucked pretty bad. I'll have a full recap of my day along with some crappy photos I took later this week.

Week Six (5/7 - 5/13)

THE GRACIES - The cream of the crop this past week

Dan Johnson (Oak - 1B) - Just to forewarn you, this week's edition of G&N appears to be full of guys that will leave you scratching you head. At the top of that list is Oakland first baseman Dan Johnson. Johnson went 12-22 this week with 3 homers. Dan is currently riding a 13-game hitting streak.

Jack Cust (Oak - OF) - Jack had bounced around between 4 teams in 6 years before landing in Oakland this year. Since being brought in as the replacement DH for the injured Mike Piazza, Cust has been on a tear that includes hitting 5 home runs in his last 4 ballgames.

Gary Matthews Jr. (LAA - OF) - Little Sarge is working hard at silencing the critics. This past week, Matthews hit 4 home runs and 11 RBI.

Mike Lowell (Bos - 3B) - Here's a guy who's seen a nice little resurgence so far this season. Lowell hit .421 this week with 3 homers and 9 RBI

Ken Griffey Jr. (Cin - OF) - Griffey continues to knock the cover off the ball, hitting 3 more home runs this week. Unfortunately his monster output hasn't equated into a lot of wins for Cincy as of late.

Brad Penny (LAD - SP) - Once again, Penny is pitching lights out early in the season. In two starts this week against Florida and Cincinatti, Brad gave up just one run on 9 hits and 1 walk over the course of 13 1/3 innings. Penny struck out 18 as well.

Kelvim Escobar (LAA - SP) - Escobar pitched a gem on Thursday against the Indians, striking out 9 en route to a complete game shutout.

Jason Marquis (ChC - SP) - Like countless other Cub fans, I've recanted any and all horrible things I've said about Marquis. Jason continues to look nothing like the guy we saw in St. Louis. On Wednesday he threw a 3-hit complete game shutout against the Pirates. There was a third CGSHO this week thrown by Jose Contreras as well.


THE NEIFIS - Desperately in need of a Slumpbuster

Rocco Baldelli (TB - OF) - After a fairly productive April, the Woonsocket Rocket has drastically flown off course. Rocco was a dismal 1 for 24 this week and is 3 for 49 (.061 AVG) so far in the month of May.

Delmon Young (TB - OF) - The right side of Tampa Bay's outfield isn't doing much better. Young went 2 for 23 on the week and has shown very little pop on offense. Perhaps someone should fling a bat his way to get him fired up.

Ivan Rodriguez (Det - C) - Apparently Pudge has forgotten how to hit. Rodriguez is only batting .238 right now and has struck out 24 times and walked just once. This past week he managed only 1 hit in 15 at bats.

Morgan Ensberg (Hou - 3B) - There really never seems to be an in between for Morgan. Either he's completely destroying the ball, or he's slumping something fierce. Currently, the latter would be the case as Ensberg was 1 for 18 this week.

Jacque Jones (ChC - OF) - Dammit Jock! A 2 for 20 week isn't going to help the team or your trade value!

Denny Bautista (Col - RP) - I'm not sure you can have a worse week as a reliever. Before being sent down to AAA, Denny made three appearances this past week and amassed 13 hits, 11 earned runs and one loss, in get this, 1.0 inning pitched!

Victor Zambrano (Tor - SP) - Unlike Roy Halladay, Zambrano hitting the DL is probably a good thing. Before he was placed on there, Victor managed to get shellacked by the Red Sox, giving up 8 ER on 4 homers in just 2 2/3 innings. Poor Toronto. I don't think there's been a team where the wheels have come off faster this season. Then again, if they honestly expected a decent output from Victor, then they apparently never spoke to any Mets fans.

Livan Hernandez (Ari - SP) - The guy can still eat up innings, but that's about all you can say for him any more. At what point is it revealed that he's actually 42 years old instead of 32?

Gracies and Neifis: Week Five

Break out the brooms! Be it against the worst team in Major League Baseball or not, a sweep is a sweep in my book, and it's just what we needed to keep the momentum going.

Well the Rocket is officially a Yankee now. Overall I'm pretty happy with this. Not so much because he's with New York, rather that he's not with Houston. Clemens was 5-1 against the Cubs over the last three seasons, so it'll be nice not having to face him this year. This announcement along with Chris Carpenter's prolongated DL stint, makes me hope there's a good chance that Houston and St. Louis could finish in the crapper this season. Especially St. Louis. I can't wait for Pujols to go over the edge and finally morph into the Incredible Hulk.

Week Four (4/30 - 5/6)

THE GRACIES - The cream of the crop this past week

Prince Fielder (Mil - 1B) - Well the Brewers are looking like the leading candidates right now to be this year's Tigers. Leading the Milwaukee charge is Prince Fielder, who hit .440 this past week with 4 homers and 12 RBI.

Shane Victorino (Phi - OF) - Shane started the week batting .260 and ended it batting .304. During Philly's four game stretch against the Giants, Victorino went 10 for 17.

Troy Glaus (Tor - 3B) - In his first full week back since being on the DL, Glaus has been hitting the ball well. Troy hit four home runs this week against Cleveland and Texas.

J.J. Hardy (Mil - SS) - Hardy has managed to stay healthy this season, and the Brewers are thankful that he has. J.J. hit .538 this week pushing his AVG up to .339.

Ken Griffey Jr. (Cin - OF) - Speaking of staying healthy, how about Junior? After a bit of slow start in April, Griffey has really turned it up this past week, hitting 3 home runs and stealing his first base since 2004.

Jeff Suppan (Mil - SP) - It's been a good seasons thus far for the ex-Cardinal pitchers. Suppan won two decisions this past week, including a complete game against his former team.

C.C. Sabathia (Cle - SP) - Sabathia improved his record to a perfect 5-0 this season with wins against Toronto and Baltimore. C.C. struck out 18 and walked only 1 through 13 innings.

Jake Peavy (SD - SP) - Just like Sabathia, Peavy has been mowing guys down at an alarming rate this season. In his last three starts, Jake has fanned a total of 36 batters.


THE NEIFIS - Desperately in need of a Slumpbuster

The Washington Nationals - Does this team even have fans any more? Their starting lineup yesterday featured Ryan Langerhans (.100 AVG), Brian Schneider (.213), Kory Casto (.132), and Josh Wilson (.053). Their starting pitcher, Shawn Hill has a better AVG than three of those guys.

Joe Borchard (Fla - OF) - 3 for 27 this week. Joe is doing a great job of filling Reggie Abercrombie's role of anemic-hitting Marlin outfielder.

Jim Edmonds (StL - OF) - An 0-15 slump for ol' Jimbo, earning him this week's "HAHA, Look at you!" Point and Laugh Award. Seriously F' this guy.

Adam Everett (Hou - SS) - 1-22 this week. You guys do know you have Mark Loretta on the bench right?

Eric Chavez (Oak - 3B) - Hey man! Don't let the 2 for 23 week fool you. We all know Eric is known for his slow starts. In another year and a half, he'll be hotter than ever!

Matt Cain (SF - SP) - Cain was roughed up by the Phils on Thursday only lasting 3 innings, giving up 7 earned runs on 4 walks and 8 hits.

Jeremy Sowers (Cle - SP) - Sowers only lasted 2 innings on Saturday against the Orioles. Jeremy gave up 6 runs on 3 walks and 5 hits, including a three-run homer by Ramon Hernandez.

Brett Tomko (LAD - SP) - Tomko came in for relief on Monday against Arizona, only to get rocked by Chris Young. He continued his stinkfest on Friday, giving up 4 runs, 5 hits and walking 6 before getting yanked in the 5th inning against Atlanta. I'm not sure how much more Dodger fans can take. Isn't it about time to give Billingsley a shot?

Gracies and Neifis: Week Four

It's days like this, that I'm quite content with my 5 minute commute to work. There are unconfirmed reports that a man was fleeing the crash. Witnesses described him as an extremely tan, stocky, shirtless gentleman, who appeared to be holding a glass of Bacardi and cola. We can only surmise that Buzanis was riding shotgun in that truck, as he's well-known for his penchant for hitchhiking.

First off, my apologies for not bringing you a Week 3 G&N. As I mentioned before, I was exiled to Sioux City for most of the week and couldn't get to it. And from all the emails I got, it seems everyone is clamoring for it..... OK so it's not so much clamoring as it is a dull roar. Oh who am I kidding, most of you probably don't even remember the first two installments of this feature let alone know that we even have an email address.

Week Four (4/23 - 4/29)

THE GRACIES - The cream of the crop this past week

Magglio Ordonez (Det - OF) - Magglio's big week included a three day tear where he went 9 for 11 with 6 runs and 7 RBI.

Jimmy Rollins (Phi - SS) - It's only been a month, but to see Rollins with more homers than steals is a bit of surprise. Jimmy added three more to his NL leading nine.

Alex Gonzalez (Cin - SS) - For those that are still confused, this is not the Alex Gonzalez that helped us lose the 2003 pennant. This is the one that played for the team that beat us. Apparently Kip Wells was serving up grapefruit to the Reds on Tuesday, as Alex took him yard two different times. In retrospect, Alex has hit 14 homers in that last two seasons combined.

Chase Utley (Phi - 2B) - 12 for 27, 2 homers, 10 RBI. Chase is doing exactly what every fantasy manager that drafted him in the first round was hoping for.

Vernon Wells (Tor - OF) - Like Maggs, Vernon had a nice three-game tear, going 9 for 12 with 8 runs and 3 steals. Wells finished the week with his AVG .055 higher than at the start.

John Maine (NYM - SP) - The Mets rotation, save for Mike Pelfrey, has been fairly reliable this season, and John Maine has been a bright spot. Maine allowed just one run and struck out 13 in two starts this last week, finishing the month with a stellar 4-0 record and 1.35 ERA.

Dan Haren (Oak - SP) - Thank God this guy isn't with St. Louis any more. With Harden still battling injury, Haren has taken a firm hold as Oakland's staff ace. Haren struck out 12 and walked just one this week, winning two starts against Tampa Bay and Baltimore.

Jarrod Washburn (Sea - SP) - Once upon a time, Jarrod was an effective starter for the Angels, winning 18 games in 2002. Now he seems to be finding new life in Seattle. Washburn picked up his first win of the season on Wednesday, throwing a complete game shutout against the A's.


THE NEIFIS - Desperately in need of a Slumpbuster

Bill Hall (Mil - CF) - It was a rough week in Chicago and Houston. Hall only managed 2 hits in 22 at bats and struck out 10 times.

Kevin Kouzmanoff (SD - 3B) - 2 for 22 this week to drop his season AVG to .119. Yeesh, even Sean Burroughs wasn't this bad. Sadly Geoff Blum or Oscar Robles would hardly be considered an improvement.

Freddy Sanchez (Pit - 2B) - A 1 for 19 week to drop his AVG to .206. Just what you expect from the reigning batting champ.

Eric Byrnes (Ari - OF) - Eric was a Gracie in week one, but now finds himself on the other end of the spectrum. Eric struggled against the Padres and Giants, managing only 1 hit in 17 at bats.

Jay Gibbons (Bal - OF) - Nevermind the lack of hitting from Jay (1 for 16 this week). I'm just amazed the son of a bitch hasn't landed on the DL yet.

Bob Wickman (Atl - RP) - Honestly, I'm gonna be hard-pressed to ever give a closer a Gracie. But in classic "point and laugh" fashion, I'll make them a Neifi. Wickman blew two saves this week and nearly lost the game for Atlanta on Friday before they yanked him. I guess that's why they went out and got Mike Gonzalez and Rafael Soriano.

Trevor Hoffman (SD - RP) - To be fair, he did convert 2 saves this past week (Only 13 away from 500). Unfortunately for 'the Hoff', he got rocked two different times between them, blowing a save against the D-Backs as well as the Dodgers.

Kip Wells (StL - SP) - As mentioned earlier, he gave up not one, but two homers to Alex Gonzalez. If that's not worthy of a Neifi I don't know what is.

Gracies and Neifis: Week Two

Two weeks down and twenty-somethingorother to go. Before we delve into this week's list of brilliance and inferiority, I wanted to comment real quick on yesterday's game. If Kyle Lohse only played the Cubs, he'd be a front-runner for the Cy Young Award easily. Also Ted Lilly looks to be the winner of the Kerry Wood Memorial "No Run Support" Award, as his excellent outing was squandered. Tonight they face Clay Hensley and the Padres. Hensley has only faced the Cubs once ever, and pitched a 2-hit complete game shutout. We'll see if the bats can heat up.

Week One (4/9 - 4/15)

THE GRACIES - The cream of the crop this past week

Ian Kinsler (Tex - 2B) - While most of the Texas offense has been quiet so far, Kinsler has made quite a roar. Ian hit .476 this week with 4 home runs and 8 RBI.

Rickie Weeks (Mil - 2B) - Rickie bounced back from a rough first week nicely, hitting .389 with 8 runs, 2 triples and 2 home runs.

Aaron Hill (Tor - 2B) - What the hell? Apparently it's second basemen week. Hill teed off on the Tigers and Royals all week, going 12 for 26 with 5 doubles.

Adrian Beltre (Sea - 3B) - Beltre was well on his way to being a Neifi this week. Then he went 4 for 8 on Saturday and Sunday against Texas, hitting 2 homers with 7 RBI and 5 runs. Those two games bumped his OPS from .427 to .814. We'll be looking for Adrian in the Neifi list next week.

Alex Rios (Tor - OF) - Alex had his 11 game hitting streak snapped yesterday against Detroit. Rios went 10 for 29 on the week with 2 homers and 7 RBI, including a game-winning hit in the 10th inning of Friday's game against the Tigers.

C.C. Sabathia (Cle - SP) - Who would win in a cage match, Sabathia or Carlos Zambrano? While we may never know the answer, we do know that C.C. has looked much better on the mound so far this season. Sabathia picked up two wins this past week against the White Sox and Angels, striking out 17 over 15 innings.

Tim Hudson (Atl - SP) - Hudson has been impressive so far this season. Tim picked up two wins this week, allowing only 1 run over 14 innings.

Felix Hernandez (Sea - SP) - King Felix is starting to earn that nickname finally. This week he stunned the Red Sox in Fenway, throwing a one-hit complete game shutout.


THE NEIFIS - Desperately in need of a Slumpbuster

Elijah Dukes (TB - CF) - Dukes went 1 for 17 this week, topped off with his 0-4, 4 strikeout performance yesterday against Minnesota. Neifi would be proud.

Ryan Shealy (KC - 1B) - Shealy went 1 for 17 as well, but unlike Dukes, Ryan actually drew a walk.

Mark Teahen (KC - OF) - Mark's 2 for 4 game yesterday snapped a week-long hitless streak. Alas, we couldn't annoint him our first 0-fer of the season. That accolade instead goes to....

Edwin Encarnacion (Cin - 3B) - 0 for 19. That's what you look for in your cleanup batter. He's since been bumped to sixth in the order.

Joe Crede (ChW - 3B) - Despite a 3 for 4 game on Friday against Cleveland, Joe went 4 for 23 on the week with 7 strikeouts. A frustrated Crede was booted from yesterday's game after arguing balls and strikes.

Mariano Rivera (NYY - RP) - Rivera hadn't allowed a run since August 27, 2006. Then he gives up a three-run homer to the Player to be Named Later? Mo, you're starting to look mortal.

Zach Duke (Pit - SP) - What the hell happened to this kid? Two years ago he looked like a promising young ace. Now he's getting rocked on a consistent basis. Duke gave up 7 runs over 2 innings, against the Giants of all teams.

Mark Redman (Atl - SP) - 2.2 IP, 6 H, 7 ER, 2 BB. Those kind of stats might get you an All-Star bid in Kansas City, but in Atlanta it'll get you the backside of Bobby Cox's hand!

Gracies and Neifis

This will be a new weekly feature*, where I will look at which players are currently hot and which are not. Instead of going with the generic name of "Studs and Duds" or "Champs and Chumps", I came up with Gracies and Neifis. I don't think I need to explain which one is which.

*I give it 4 weeks before I get bored with it and give up.

Week One (4/2 - 4/8)

THE GRACIES - The cream of the crop this past week

Alex Rodriguez (NYY- 3B) - Never mind his glove. A-Rod got it done at the plate this week, going 8 for 21 with 4 home runs and 11 RBI, including a game-winning grand slam on Saturday vs. the Orioles.

Eric Byrnes (Ari - OF) - Byrnes went 11 for 31 with 2 homers, 7 RBI, and 4 stolen bases, yet most folks in Phoenix probably couldn't spot him in a police lineup.

Miguel Cabrera (Fla - 3B) - He's batting .500 with 2 home runs, 8 RBI, and a K/BB ratio of .333. Oh and he's 23 years old. What the hell were you doing when you were 23?

Jose Reyes (NYM - SS) - Jose went 7 for 21 this week, with 5 of those 7 hits being for extra bases, including 3 triples. You know who else hit 3 triples?

Vladimir Guerrero (LAA - OF) - One of the few guys that was lucky enough to play all week in weather that didn't require a skimask. Vlad ripped 3 homers for 10 RBI.

Roy Oswalt (Hou - SP) - After being baffled by the Pirates, the Astros finally broke into the win column Saturday against the Cardinals, thanks to a complete game five-hitter from Oswalt.

Johan Santana (Min - SP) - Santana got the win in his season opener despite giving up 4 runs to Baltimore. He looked better yesterday against the White Sox, allowing only one hit over 7 innings and striking out 9.

John Lackey (LAA - SP) - Lackey picked up two wins this week, striking out 11 over 12 innings. Lackey has only allowed one run thus far.


THE NEIFIS - Desperately in need of a Slumpbuster

Alex Gordon (KC - 3B) - Looks like the young phenom has some kinks to work out. In his first week in the bigs, Gordon went 1 for 19, with 8 strikeouts and 0 walks.

Ryan Shealy (KC - 1B) - It's just an overall lack of pop from the corners in KC. Shealy didn't fare much better than his counterpart, managing only 2 hits in 16 at bats.

Kevin Kouzmanoff (SD - 3B) - Apparently it's "Rip the Rookies" week. The Kouz' is batting a Neifi-esque .143 through 21 at bats.

Jermaine Dye (CHW - OF) - Dye's 2 for 17 start shouldn't be too much of surprise. Looking at the splits, it appears that Dye plays poorly in April on odd-numbered years. You won't find that on ESPN's "Did You Know?".

Adam LaRoche (Pit - 1B) - A real poster boy for plate discipline, LaRoche struck out 13 times in 27 plate appearances.

Brad Lidge & Dan Wheeler (Hou - RP) - Yikes. It's been said that if Lidge struggled that Wheeler would be considered the backup. Well what if Wheeler struggles as well? The two combined this past week for 9 hits, 5 earned runs, 4 walks and only 1 K, through 3 2/3 innings.

Jose Contreras (CHW - SP) - And the winner for most abysmal Opening Day start goes to....... (1 inning, 7 hits, 1 walk, 8 runs)

A.J. Burnett (Tor - SP) - A.J. got rocked by the Tigers last Wednesday, giving up 6 runs on 5 hits and 4 walks.