THUNDERWATCH 2008

STATUS: REVIVED

Murton is up! Murton is up! The Russian is cut!

Eric Patterson, the Bizzaro Murton, is going down to AAA again and the Thunder is being recalled. I think this is the last time the Cubs can call Murton up, so he's either going to stay with the team for good, or be traded by the end of next month. Either way, the manchild is up, which is good news for us. Let's paint the town orange!

THUNDERWATCH 2008

STATUS: CRITICAL

1. Matt Murton had sex with Jim Hendry/Lou Piniella's wife.
2. Matt Murton has broken 165 mirrors in the last 2 years and he is bad luck.
3. Matt Murton has the plague and should not be allowed into a clubhouse.
4. Matt Murton is no longer living.

Take a gander at the choices above and pick one. At least one of those things is true. One of those has to be true. That's the only logical explanation for what seems to be happening.

Soriano hurts himself impersonating Bill Gramatica. This leaves a hole in the Cubs outfield. Seems like it would make sense to call up an outfielder to replace him, right? Possibly a certain red haired outfielder?

So what do the Cubs do? They call up freakin' Eric Patterson. That's exactly what we need. That's the kind of logic that's responsible for the last 100 years of futility. Why would the Cubs bring up an outfielder with major league experience who is currently hitting .333 in the minors when they could just call up an infielder? Never mind the fact that DeRosa, Theriot, Fontenot and Cedeno are already on the roster.

It's not like the Cubs haven't had problems scoring runs in key situations over the past few years, right? So what better way to increase the black hole that is Felix Pie at the bottom of the order than adding another player who doesn't have much experience to the bottom of the lineup.

What should the Cubs have done? Put Murton in left? That's an option. Stick Fukudome in center, Murton in right and Daryle Ward in left? Also a possibility. But no, this reeks of putting Patterson at second and DeRosa in left.

I would write more, but I am speechless. What is happening with this team?!? It's getting...getting hard to breathe...darkness...imprisoning me...all that I see...absolute horror...

THUNDERWATCH 2008

The good news? It doesn't look like Thunder Matt Murton is going to Baltimore. I hear he's a fan of The Wire, but that's about as far as his involvement with Mob Town goes.

The bad news? Apparently the Cubs are having discussions trying to trade Thunder Matt to either the Red Sox or Rangers. But the Red Sox are saying that just Murton isn't enough to pry away Coco Crisp. Texas is saying the same in regards to Marlon Byrd.

I can understand why Texas would want Murton. They need all the help they can get. But Murton seems like a terrible fit for Boston. Sure the Red Sox want a decent player for Coco Crisp, but does it really make any sense to trade him for another corner outfielder? Right now Murton is stuck behind Soriano, Pie and Fukudome (and possibly Sam Fuld). In Beantown, he'd be stuck behind JD Drew, Jacoby Ellsbury and Manny.

Then again, the Red Sox have won a few World Series in the past 100 years, so maybe they know what they're doing.

Thunder Matt went 1-3 today in a 12-6 win against the Giants. Murton could easily have gone 3-3, but he didn't want to make the rookies in camp feel bad. What a teammate!

Other Cubs notes:

- Ryan Theriot went 3-3 today, scoring 3 runs and stealing a base. As everyone knows, Spring Training success always translates to regular season success, so expect nothing less than 600 hits and 162 steals from Ryan this year.
- Mike Fontenot hit a triple and a pinch-hit 3 run bomb. Apparently today was a great day for all the French Cubs. Ryan Dempster also won the game. Sure he's Canadian, but that's close enough. By the way, can we go back to calling Fontenot and Theriot "The French Connection" even if one of them is riding the bench all season?
- Mark DeRosa underwent what is known as the "Brant Brown Procedure" today and is expected to resume baseball activities next week. What does it mean when people are set to "resume baseball activities"? Does that mean if he sat around scratching his balls and showering with 10 other grown males before then that he could hurt himself? Anyway, Thunder Matt's Saloon sends its best to Mark.

THUNDERWATCH: 2008

Welcome to the first edition of THUNDERWATCH: 2008, where the Saloon will keep you updated on the status of our favorite redhead and our very namesake. Sure, Thunder Matt's name has been thrown around in trade rumors since December, but he's not gone yet. And yes, we do have a contingency plan just in case he is shipped somewhere else, but that doesn't mean that we've given up all hope and accepted the fact that he's gone.

So what's new on the Thunder Matt Murton front? There seems to have been a false alarm this morning. News broke out that Brian Roberts, the player Murton is most likely going to be traded for, was not in camp today. Moreover, he was at the doctor's office. Pre-trade physical? Nope, he's just sick.

Rumor has it that the more time that goes by, the less of a chance there seems to be that Mr. Murton will be traded. Personally, if I were the Orioles, I would hang on to Roberts until mid-season and trade him at the deadline. Sure, they could get a few young players from the Cubs right now, but how much more could they get if July rolls around and the Cubs are crapping out on offense and have the Brewers breathing down their necks? What if another contending team loses their 2B and needs a quick fix trade? If the Santana Circlejerk taught us anything, it's that you'll never get as much as you want in a trade if there's only a few willing trade partners.

I just hope that the Cubs don't overpay if they do end up with Roberts. Sure, it may seem like we have 8 people vying for the 5 rotation spots, but we don't want to deplete that depth too much. I'm almost 100% certain that the rotation won't repeat their health of last year, and we're going to need some replacements. What if Lieber doesn't pan out? What if Marquis is as bad as the second half of 2007 for the whole year? The Cubs have already said they won't part with Felix Pie, so that's a good start. The only current Cub I have no problem shipping out is Ronny Cedeno. Nothing against the kid, but he seems like one of those guys that is stuck between being able to murder AAA pitching and not being able to handle big league stuff. He's the new Corey Patterson.

Speaking of Corey Patterson, what happens if Pie goes the same route and just downright stinks. When he goes back to AAA and Fukudome moves to center, who's gonna play right field? Cliff Floyd? Gone. Jock Jones? Gone.

That leaves one man. The one man that, at least for now, is still a Cub.