Bartender Banter: 2010, the Future is Now!

January 05, 2010 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

It's been sort of quiet around the Saloon the last month or so.  Allow me to update our loyal readers* on the latest happenings and what the future will hold.

NEW BLOG COMING THIS SPRING
That's right, Thunder Matt's Saloon is shutting it's doors, again**, but this time for good.  We're joining forces with two other Cubs blogs to bring you Exile on Clark Street.  A new Cubs blog with the same disappointing coverage you've come to love from the Saloon.  More details will be coming in the next couple months so stay tuned.

BEST OF 2009 POSTS
I've been getting a flood of emails from readers wondering when our Top Music and Top Movies of 2009 posts will be coming out.  Just keep your pants on for a little bit longer.  Both should come out some time in the next couple weeks.  Also look out for our "Best of the Decade" lists that will be ready in 2014.

POP CULTURE GAUNTLET

The PCG started up again this week after taking a brief hiatus.  I encourage everyone to read them and post comments arguing for or against a competitor.  The trivial debating is what makes the PCG great.  Oh, speaking of comments....

RIP HALOSCAN
Haloscan is set to die this weekend.  The company that owns them offered me a chance to keep the comments going for a monthly fee.  Seeing as how TMS's days are numbered anyway I respectfully declined.  So don't be shocked next week if the old comments are gone and any new comments are through Blogger.  I'll keep them archived in a file, most likely never to see the light of day again.  Farewell old commenting service.  While you may be gone for good we'll always have the memories.  We'll always have the crazy Billy Boyd fans ("What about Beecake?").  We'll always have Hossrex (that dumb douchebag).  And we'll always, always have Chad Cordero's dad.  Godspeed Haloscan.

DEATH LEAGUE 2010
Speaking of death, at some point I should get around to posting the latest draft results and rosters for the new season of Death League.  Over a month in and no one has scored points. None of us had picked Brittany Murphy as a wild card.  In hindsight that seemed like such an obvious pick.  Meanwhile Courtney Love amazingly remains alive, at least in the medical sense.

So anyway, I know we've been slack-assing a bit lately.  But I assure you we're still committed to keeping you satisfied with the same esoteric bullshit that you so dearly love.  At least until we close down.  Then we'll just have the esoteric bullshit at a different URL.

*All eleven of you.
**You don't recall Pomp Culture?  Good, let's keep it that way.


Pop Culture Gauntlet: The Karate Kid vs. Miles Davis

January 04, 2010 | Comments (0) | by Arcturus

Welcome to Pop Culture Gauntlet, where people, places, and things from various subjects face off in a virtual cage match. As part of an ongoing series we will bring you new battles each week between randomly selected items from the Thunder Matt's PCG database. We will provide you with a brief background of both competitors. After reading, you can then vote on your choice in the poll located in the right sidebar column. Monday battles will run until 12am Thursday. Thursday battles will run until 12am Monday. Also we welcome any arguments for either competitor in our comments section. May the best man, thing, or whatever win.

Today's match: The Karate Kid vs. Miles Davis

The Karate Kid
The Karate Kid was released in 1984. The movie follows Daniel Larusso (Ralph Macchio), a high school kid who moves from Jersey to Reseda, California. He's a skinny wuss who quickly becomes the target of a group of toughs who all practice karate at the Cobra Kai dojo, run by a psycho named John Kreese (Martin Kove). To make matters worse, Daniel falls for Ali (Elizabeth Shue), a rich girl who just happens to be the ex of the #1 Cobra Kai, Johnny (William Zabka). Daniel finds a friend in the mysterious Okinawan handyman who maintains his apartment complex. Mr. Myagi (Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita) agrees to teach Daniel karate after saving his bacon by beating up the entire group of Cobra Kais. In order to secure protection for his young student, Miyagi agrees to enter Daniel in the same karate tournament the Cobra Kais regularly dominate. Thus follows the strangest karate training ever as Miyagi has Daniel wax his collection of antique cars, paint his fence, sand his deck, and paint his house, all with very precise instructions on how is supposed to perform these tasks. It turns out that all this manual labor Daniel has been doing is actually teaching him the defensive moves he needs for the tourney. In the meantime, his relationship with Ali goes up and down and Mt. Miyagi gives him a sweet convertible for his 16th birthday. One drive in the car, and everything is apparently forgiven. Daniel also sees Miyagi performing a stylized kick on top of some old deck pilings on the beach. This is apparently the "Crane Technique" for which there is no defense (except in the second movie, where it fails miserably). Cut to the tourney and we're treated to one of the best montage sequences in film history, set to "You're The Best", a quintessential 80's song, perhaps topped only by the incredibly homoerotic montage in Rocky III. Being as this is an 80s movie, Daniel naturally wins the tournament with the Crane Technique, but not before Kreese plays some dirty pool and has one of his boys attempt to cripple the Jersey kid.

Strengths: Mr Miyagi, "sweep the leg", montage of awesomeness, "wax on, wax off", the Crane Technique, and perhaps most importantly, Elizabeth Shue.

Weaknesses: Daniel's whiny ass, Jersey, the fact that many Americans view this movie as great insight into Japanese culture, the three sequels-one with Hilary Swank(!)

Fun Facts: Pat Morita was intially turned down for the Mr. Miyagi role. Elizabeth Shue left Harvard to do this film. "You're the Best" was supposedly written for Rocky III, but was rejected in favor of "Eye of the Tiger" (Thank you to imdb.com for fun fact info)


Miles Davis
Miles Davis was one of the most influential, if not the most influential jazz musician of his time. His trumpeting style prompted a plethora of imitators and throughout his life he stayed on the cutting edge of jazz. Miles was part of the jazz evolution as it transformed from cool jazz to bop. His modal compositions on albums like Milestones and Kind of Blue lifted the music to new heights. He experimented with funk on On the Corner and fusion was partially born from the ambitious Bitches' Brew. Some of the best jazz musicians of the time served in his groups, among them John Coltrane, Herbie Hancock, Bill Evans, Julian "Cannonball" Adderly, Philly Joe Jones, Paul Chambers, Wayne Shorter, Elvin Jones, Art Taylor, Chick Corea, John McLaughlin and many, many others.

In many ways, Davis was one of the first African-American superstars. He could be arrogant and dismissive towards fans, and with few exceptions, didn't really care for white jazz musicians. Like many jazz musicians, he suffered from a heroin addiction, but was able to get clean. His influence and legacy remain one of the lasting forces in jazz, Kind of Blue perhaps being the best known jazz album of all time.

Strengths: Soulful trumpet playing, the Coltrane years, helped define bop and invent fusion, successful African-American before the Civil rights movement, lasting influence, Kind of Blue.

Weaknesses: Hated Whitey, helped invent fusion, arrogant, was cheap when it came to paying his band members.

Fun Fact: Davis had recorded an album for Columbia while still under contract to Prestige Records. He owed Prestige four albums, so he and his quintet spent two days in the studio, recording enough material to fulfill the contract so he would be able to release his Columbia album. All four albums (Workin', Steamin', Relaxin' and Cookin' with the Miles Davis Quintet) are considered classics.

Cubs Sign Marlon Byrd

December 31, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Wolter

Woo. Hoo?
I don't really have much to say about this, other than: "It's come to this? This is the major signing we were waiting for?"


This offseason blows.

Merry KISSMAS!

December 24, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

From Chaim Witz and the Saloon, to you and your family, specifically your wives and girlfriends, we wish you a very Merry Christmas (or other non-Christian sponsored holiday).


Pop Culture Gauntlet: Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn vs. Boxer Briefs

December 21, 2009 | Comments (0) | by T.R.

Welcome to Pop Culture Gauntlet, where people, places, and things from various subjects face off in a virtual cage match. As part of an ongoing series we will bring you new battles each week between randomly selected items from the Thunder Matt's PCG database. We will provide you with a brief background of both competitors. After reading, you can then vote on your choice in the poll located in the right sidebar column. Monday battles will run until 12am Thursday. Thursday battles will run until 12am Monday. Also we welcome any arguments for either competitor in our comments section. May the best man, thing, or whatever win.

Today's match: Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn vs. Boxer Briefs

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Solzhenitsyn, who passed away in August of 2008, was a Russian and Soviet historian, and Nobel laureate in Literature. His prominent works, A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich and The Gulag Archipelago, earned him both global critical acclaim and exile from his home country. Toward the end of WWII, while serving as a commander in the Red Army, he was tried and imprisoned for inflammatory writings questioning Joseph Stalin's conduct of the war. After serving his term in a labor camp, he was permitted back into Soviet society. At this time, he conducted much of his research and writings in secrecy due to the ever-watchful eye of the KGB. In 1962, Nikita Khrushchev, First Secretary of the Communist Party at the time, permitted the publishing of A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich. This sudden rise to cultural prominence only intensified the scrutiny that Solzhenitsyn suffered at the hands of the KGB. In 1974, Solzhenitsyn was stripped of his Soviet citizenship and permanently exiled from the country. After floating around Western Europe, he ventured to the United States, settling in Vermont. Here he continued his writings against Communism, favoring a return to Russian imperialism and orthodoxy. It should also be noted that while Solzhenitsyn appreciated the political liberties which democracy allowed, he remained disconcerted by the evils of popular culture and the weakening of American strenght. In other words, Solzhenitsyn would not approve of the Saloon. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, Solzhenitsyn returned to the motherland, where he preached moderate nationalism and the emboldening of Russia, and decried its turn toward materialism and the crumbling of its religious foundations.

Strengths: showed great intestinal fortitude by sticking it to the KGB; survived a near-fatal bout with cancer; exposed the Gulags and the faults of Communism

Weaknesses: willingly chose to live in Vermont of all places; once described the United States as a "province of Israel"; wanted the United States to prolong the war in Vietnam

Fun Fact: His son Ignat is an acclaimed concert pianist and conductor, working primarily with the Chamer Orchestra of Philadelphia.

*information largely cribbed from Wikipedia

Boxer Briefs
For centuries, cultured men were suffered the indignity of having only two alternatives to "going commando": boxers or briefs. When a young man first graduates from diapers, he is too young to yet understand the difference between the two, and is generally at the will of his mother regarding the undergarments he will use throughout his youth. In 98% of all cases, the mother will default to white briefs, or as we refer to them, "tighty whities". In the other 2% of cases, the mother is likely deceased or too hopped up on goofers to pay any mind to the child. It is usually not until high school when a young man realizes that he has the choice to transition to boxers. But lo and behold, the 1990's gave advent to a new choice in the male intimates section at your local Target: the boxer briefs. Melding the best of both worlds, the boxer brief has both the length of boxers (which are more comfortable and desirable when undressing in front of a female) and the compact feel of the "tighty whities" (which helps to absorb those last two drops of urine so that they do not run down the leg). They afford a more confident demeanor when standing semi-nude in front of a mirror and flexing. Boxer briefs scream "I am not convinced that the testicles need to be so aerated as to necessitate boxers, yet I also do not enjoy playing World of Warcraft!" The boxer brief is simultaneously a neutral Switzerland, and the dawn of the United States of America. There have been precious few articles of clothing in the history of man that have liberated so many.

Strengths: more appealing to the ladies; "last two drops" corollary; dark colors assist in hiding unmentionable stains

Weaknesses: often more expensive than standard boxers or briefs; slight risk of decreased sperm count

Fun Fact: They suppress boners slightly better than boxers, which always helps when you're riding the city bus.

Milton Bradley Watch

December 18, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Arcturus

Threat Level: Still an ambulating asshole, still on the Cu-wait, what? There are actually rumors of a Bradley trade going down? No fucking way!






Who'd we get? C'mon, big money, no Whamm
ies, no Whammies, no Whammies . . .


SHIT!!! Carlos Silva, seriously? I know Bradley is a cantering cocknugget, but come on! I'd rather keep Bradley and hope Lou can keep from killing him for a season just so Ryne Sandberg gets a chance to manage the selfish prick.

In case anybody cares, Silva pitched in all of 8 games last year, finishing 1 and 3 with an 8.60 ERA before mercifully injuring himself. 2008 wasn't any better as Silva pitched in 28 games, amassing a 4 and 15 record with an ERA of 6.46. He's also fucking big. And not the good kind of big, if you know what I mean. Let's put it this way: if Silva ever went to Japan, the fucking Sea Shepherd would be following him around for his own protection.

Jesus.
Wept.

Pop Culture Gauntlet Results

December 17, 2009 | Comments (0) | by T.R.

In an effort to minimize the hassle involved with posting the Gauntlet results, we have decided to lump them together after every three or four contests. Without further ado:

Kanye West (5 votes) vs. The Enron Scandal (16 votes)
Vegas was stunned with these results. The prognosticators were calling for a beating at the hands of Mr. West. But NO! Mighty Enron turned the tables on Kanye by the widest margin to date. The flash in the pan hip-hopper assured himself of the last laugh though, when he stormed the stage and ...oh...nevermind. Kanye was no match for the staying power of corporate scandal.

HBO (9 votes) vs. Piet Mondrian (4 votes)
Well duh, of course HBO won. I mean, quality television, boobs, and swearing, versus a guy named Piet? Say my name is Brant, and I'm at a cocktail party. You ask me what I do for a living, and I tell you that I paint in straight lines and only use three colors. You would tell me "that's interesting" and look for someone more important to talk to. But if your name is Piet, then painting like a third grader not only gains you international notoriety, but you're able to perpetuate a freaking artistic movement. Whatever, Taxicab Confessions is way cooler than the cover of the last Silverchair album.

Dunkin' Donuts (8 votes) vs. The Assassination of Franz Ferdinand (11 votes)
Obviously the Saloon does not have a huge Boston following. Seriously though, the coffee is good, I'll give them that. But we're talking about The Great War! Conspiracy! Assassination! Sexual frivolity (unconfirmed)! Secret societies! Tuberculosis! It's the stuff of a Steven Soderbergh film! Except very, very real.

Remember people, keep voting!

Pop Culture Gauntlet: Boba Fett vs. Fried Chicken

December 17, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Wolter

Welcome to Pop Culture Gauntlet, where people, places, and things from various subjects face off in a virtual cage match. As part of an ongoing series we will bring you new battles each week between randomly selected items from the Thunder Matt's PCG database. We will provide you with a brief background of both competitors. After reading, you can then vote on your choice in the poll located in the right sidebar column. Monday battles will run until 12am Thursday. Thursday battles will run until 12am Monday. Also we welcome any arguments for either competitor in our comments section. May the best man, thing, or whatever win.

Today's match: Boba Fett vs. Fried Chicken

Boba Fett
The nerd's ultimate idea of cool, Boba Fett is the cleverest, slickest, most dangerous bounty hunter in the Star Wars series. Of course, he does this more or less by the time honored tradition of "not being as dumb as Greedo," an alien so dumb that even after Lucas felt bad enough to go back and spot him a free first shot, managed to miss from 2 feet away. Still, Boba Fett was the only person in the entire Galactic Empire not to notice the huge spaceship that disappeared from view might be floating amongst the ONLY cover within ten light years, so we can definitely give him that. Boba Fett also flew the legitimately badassed Slave-1. Sure it was a weird looking combination of spaceship and hair-dryer, but when you fly in something named Slave-1, no one fucks with you. Except maybe Harriet Tubman.

Like all things awesome about the original Star Wars series, Lucas managed to make Boba Fett lamer than Joe Theismann, circa 1986 during the "new trilogy." Apparently he's a clone of his own "father" Django Reinhardt, along with EVERY SINGLE STORMTROOPER...which means the entire Imperial Army is pretty much a bunch of renowned jazz guitarists. Or something like that, I stopped paying attention halfway through that crapfest.

Strengths: In The Empire Strikes Back, he is easily the most competent employee on the Imperial Payroll. He has a kickass jetpack, a grappling hook, and the stones to stand up to Darth Vader.

Weaknesses: Being accidentally hit on the back by a blind Han Solo will cause his kickass jetpack to malfunction and enable him to be digested over a thousand year period by the Saarlacc. Nice heel, Achilles. His death merited a slide whistle.

Fun Fact: Did you know, per Wikipedia, that the plural of "Saarlacc" is "Saarlacci?" And the plural of "nerd" is "more than one person who knows that."

Fried Chicken
Though one of our bartenders is secretly a vegetarian (guess which one!), the rest of us know that chickens are essentially Food Alive. And everyone knows the best way to serve any food is to bread it and deep fry it. Even things that are counterintuitive, like pickles, okra, or ice cream.

Invented by Jesus shortly after he turned water into beer, fried chicken lay dormant until rediscovered by the American South, especially poor African-Americans, as chickens were the only farm animal slaves were allowed to keep. This led to some rather disgusting racist connections with fried chicken, but let me assure you, as a caucasian southerner, I have eaten more than enough of the stuff to bely any aspersions of that nature.

Strengths: Aside from tasting like awesome lives in your mouth, fried chicken keeps for longer than most dishes, which is another reason it became popular in the pre-refrigeration south. It may well be the perfect picnic food, since you are required by law to eat it with your hands in most states.

Weaknesses: Other than the whole "racism" angle, it looks like fried chicken might not actually be healthy. More on this as it develops.

Fun Fact: Colonel Sanders was named a Kentucky Colonel in 1935, nearly 20 years before KFC was franchised.

Thunder Matt Snubbed By ESPN Chicago: This Aggression Will Not Stand, Man

December 16, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Ginger Russ

In case you missed it, ESPN Chicago put out its list of the 10 greatest Cubs of the past decade. While the list is highly debatable (Theriot at #8? Dempster ahead of Sosa?), one name was surprisingly absent from the list. Yep, it looks like the ginger prejudice is still alive and well in 'Merika (Dempster doesn't count, he's Canadian), as TMS's own namesake, Matt Murton failed to make the list.

While you can look at stats all you want, some things are intangible. Murton brought sex appeal, an underdog attitude, and of course a lovability to the Cubs that is rarely seen. Would Murton piss on his hands and then shake yours? I think not. Would Matt cork his bat just because he was having a slump? Hardly. Did the Redheaded Wonder ever lead the league in "simulated games"? Never. Can he grow a beard faster than it takes Daft's mom to take her clothes off in exchange for a 40 of Old E? You betcha. What's that, these things don't make a player "the greatest of the decade"? Well, GFY then. Fine, let's look at the stats. A lifetime .299 hitter for the Cubs doesn't mean anything I guess.

Sure, since leaving the Cubs, Murton's luck has changed and is now off in Japan. But don't forget the great times he had here in Chicago. One needs to only look as far as the 28 plaques in the Thunder Matt Trophy Room to be reminded of that. Just as the Ted Lilly Fan Club is miffed about the absence of TRL to ESPN Chicago's list, we implore you Cubs fans - email, text, call, fax, send a letter, anything to get to those bastards and demand that Matt Murton be added to the list. Do it for Ginger Awareness not only in Chicago, but everywhere.

Chaiming In: Holiday Edition

December 16, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

My God, I leave this place for a few months and it all goes to pot. Is this thing on? Does this website work? Are we on the Internet? Is this live? Does my mother still check this site? What about Daft's Mom? (I'm pulling out (of) all of the oldies but goodies!). Let's get down to the bullet points for the last man standing, ergo, reading.
  • I'm being told in my earpiece that there is going to be some new site launching in a few months that is kind of like that cartoon Voltron, whatever that means. Did I let the cat out of the bag? I don't know. But if you were burned when you invested in shares of Pomp Culture, you might want to sit this one out. The details are sketchy, but I can only imagine it involves pornography, t-shirts with wolves, Twittering, the sale of banned prescription drugs, and in some form or another, The Cubs. From all indications, it will involve several new writers and some old ones. The Hundley has been asked to return. Jordi Scrubbings has not.
  • Avatar, for the most part, lives up to the $300 million dollar hype. See it in 3D though, for the love of the Blue Man Group. The visuals are amazing and the last 45 minutes are really unlike anything you've ever witnessed. It's far from the perfect movie: the story is rife with cliches, Sam Worthington's acting is as stiff as Tommy Buzanis on a Cialis bender and things begin to drag about 90 minutes in before picking up again. That said, the action scenes and visuals (the previews don't do them justice) more than compensate for the films flaws, none of which prove fatal. The line, 'you need to see this on the big screen' is probably overused in this day and age of HDTVs and surround sound, but make no doubt about it: you need to see this on the big screen...and in 3D if at all possible. I had a myriad of doubts going in, but walked out of the film a believer. A very solid B+.
  • On the other end of the spectrum is Up in the Air, starring the dashing and well-spoken George Clooney. I don't really feel like giving a detailed review (I'm not your goddamn father), only to say that it is very good, even if it is the antithesis of Avatar. I'm not sure we should crown it Best Picture already like some circles already have, but I can't imagine anyone leaving this one disappointed. Solid entertainment the discerning adult and contemporary male. Let's give this one a B+ as well.
  • "New Fang" by Them Crooked Vultures could very well be the Single of the Year (right up there with Pearl Jam's "The End"). The rest of the album? The jury is still out, but my dick is still in my pants.
  • A War Hero on cheese and crackers is forthcoming. Don't agree with me on that one? Then, by all means, log off the Internet and log onto me murdering you while you sleep.
  • It took me a while to warm up to it, but that show Modern Family on ABC is really good. A poor man's Arrested Development, it's finally given me something to watch on day other than Thursday. For the sake of continuity, lets give that one a B+ as well.
  • Lots of noise being made about Milton Bradley. I'm trying to keep a safe distance away from the hoopla because A) I need a mental break from the Cubs after last season and B) I don't like Milton Bradley and would just prefer that I wake up on April 1st to find him not in the lineup, upon which I will just logically assume that the Cubs managed to trade him for a warm body whose testicles have dropped and has an inclination to hustle and smile (preferably at the same time).
  • Raves: the song 'Relator' (shockingly enough, sung by Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson), Rosemary and Olive Oil Triscuits, NFL playoff races, mole sauce, Amazon Prime, Flip Video Ultra HD, HP Pavilion dv6T laptop, Sabra hummus, Simply Limeade, cars with butt warmers.
  • Rants: Semi-trucks, freezing temperatures, grinches, impatient drivers, getting sweets as a Christmas present, genocide.

Cubs Express Interest in Signing Roberto Clemente

December 15, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

In a disappointing offseason of unsubstantiated or unfulfilled rumors, new reports are coming out about the latest player the Cubs are supposedly eyeing.  Hall of famer Roberto Clemente.

When asked about the validity of this, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said, "Absolutely.  Clemente would fill our hole in center field.  He's an amazing hitter, an outstanding fielder, and is a role model to every Hispanic player we have.  The impact he'd have on our team would be tremendous!"

Hendry was then asked if he realized Clemente has been deceased for nearly 37 years.  "Huh?  Of course I know he's dead.  Did you honestly think I thought we could sign him for 2010?  I was just saying that it'd be nice to have him as our center fielder, just like it'd be nice to have Mike Cameron, or J.J. Putz, or Matt Capps, or Jason Bay, or Chone Figgins, or Curtis Granderson, or John Lackey, but that's not happening either!"

Milton Bradley Watch

December 15, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Arcturus

Threat Level: STILL a fucking Cub. Still a perambulating prick.

The past few days have seen a flurry of moves, all made by other teams. The Blue Jays, Phillies, and Mariners may complete a blockbuster deal that would send ace Roy Halladay to Philadelphia and Cliff Lee to the Mariners. The Mariners suddenly look like contenders and remain in the mix for Jason Bay. The Red Sox meanwhile have signed Cub target Mike Cameron for 2 years and seem on the verge of acquiring John Lackey. Speculation is that Lackey's presence will allow them to deal Clay Bucholz and Jacoby Ellsbury for Adrian Gonzalez. Like the Red Sox really need to get any better. And the Cardinals have supposedly offered Matt Holiday 16M per over 8 years.

What have the Cubs done this year? Purged the team of every player signed last offseason, save the brooding Bradley. Resigned John Grabow, whose arm will probably now fall off. And they've expressed interest in signing Pirates closer Matt Capps, who was non-tendered by the Bucs. I fully expect Hendry to overpay to secure three years of Capps and call the offseason a success. I know there's a lot of post-season left, but so far it's had a very 2004 feel to it. Remember Freddie Bynum? Yeah, me neither.

It's looking more and more like Bradley will still be our problem come next season. Can Jim and Lou put the pieces back together and get the sulky Milton to play up to his potential? Can the rest of the team live with a guy who has no interest in being a team player and still compete? Will Lou snap and beat Milton to death with a baseball bat? Would any of the Cubs stop him if he did? And if he did, are the Cubs still on the hook for Milton's salary? All questions worth pondering as we death march to Opening Day 2010.

My Case for Signing Matt Capps

December 14, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan


Graph courtesy of FanGraphs

Granted Capps had a down year last season, but assuming he can regain pre-2009 form, it'd be nice to have a reliever that can strike guys out much more often than walking them.